Venting If most people hate their jobs, how do they still consider themselves happy overall?

[Darkover]

If most people hate their jobs and spend a significant portion of their lives working, how do they still consider themselves happy overall?

it's a strange contradiction. A lot of people hate their jobs, but they still rate their overall life as "happy" when asked. Maybe it comes down to the fact that happiness isn't just about work—people find meaning, comfort, or distraction in relationships, hobbies, entertainment, or even just routines.


It could also be that people just say they're happy because admitting otherwise is uncomfortable. There's a lot of pressure to present life as good, even if it's not. Plus, humans have a way of adapting to misery and finding little moments of joy in between the suffering.

 

[TheHolySword]

It's easy for people who aren't happy to not understand why others are. When you find misery all around you generally just don't comprehend why others aren't the same. It's not really a contradiction to dislike aspects of life but to love it overall.

 

[Rymrgand]

I feel like the premise is wrong. There's a lot of young people with shitty jobs and depression. They are not happy, even if they are not actively suicidal.

There are other people that are happy, but they are often older people from the almost extinct middle class with decent jobs. They only hate their jobs in the same way they hate their wives. They simply like to complain. Of course they would prefer to not work, but they don't have bad jobs.

There are also happy people with terrible jobs, but they usually are able to live thanks to their friends/partner/family and hope of getting a better job in the future. They are not too many, tho.

 

[pauly369]

I think a lot of people delude themselves into thinking that wage - slavery is normal.
We were brainwashed in school to believe that working is a normal and honourable thing to do.
Its not normal to be a slave for some corporation or whatever in order to pay for things that should actually be free.
A long time ago, you lived wherever you wanted, built your own shelter for free and lived off the land.
I doubt anyone is truly happy being a wage - slave.
.

 

[daysfeel]

It's because they've had a generally happy life up until then, a lot of great memories, and they get to continue to have a happy life. The only unhappy thing is their job, but it's tolerable because their life is great. And the jobs that people tend to complain about, they may not be ideal but they're not traumatic either. Those happy people haven't been traumatized so they think a subpar job is cruel and unusual.

 

[divinemistress36]

It's because they've had a generally happy life up until then, a lot of great memories, and they get to continue to have a happy life. The only unhappy thing is their job, but it's tolerable because their life is great. And the jobs that people tend to complain about, they may not be ideal but they're not traumatic either. Those happy people haven't been traumatized so they think a subpar job is cruel and unusual.

True. Most happy people havent been severely traumatized

 

[StrugglingSienna]

There's dissociation. Yeah, when you think too hard about the fact that you're expected to spend 40+ of the precious waking hours of your week being in a place that you'd really rather not be in the first place, it's a little fucked up. But I remember being a kid and asking my dad what he did at work today and being confused as to why he wasn't really able to give a good answer, ever, despite having a pretty interesting job. It wasn't because I was an idiot kid, either, I'm a smart adult now and he still can't answer. He does plenty of cool things at work. It's just because of dissociation. These 40+ hours of our week fly by when we dissociate, and we form fewer memories from the time we spend at work, and more memories from times outside of work, even though those times are shorter, and so those times have a greater overall impact on our emotional state.

There are coworkers. They can make a job hell but they can also make a hell job... kinda fun? Like if you're working a shitty kitchen job and it's Applebee's Sunday brunch and the Southern Baptist church busses have just arrived, you are fucked. But when you have good coworkers, you all get to be fucked together, and you're all going to be cooking 1000 omelets for Annabelle and her crew who never tip anyways, and it's going to suck so hard and you're all going to laugh together about how hard this sucks. And when you finally get a breather you're going to go outside together to smoke a cigarette and hit your dab pen and make plans to get hammered together tonight, because after this shit, you deserve it.

Those are the main reasons I can think of.

 

[MathConspiracy]

I think they are genuinely happy. Of course this may be my jealousy talking, but if I asked an average 40-year-old in my country, they would respond that they are indeed happy.

If they are unhappy, people will generally do everything to fix that. They'll go to the gym, study a new degree, visit a doctor, get their physical issues sorted, take care of the mental side of things before it's too late – the list goes on. The general public is too afraid of death to even consider it. The psychology articles I've read say that almost everyone has some kind of suicidal ideation during their lives, but that those feelings come and go. That's what the hotlines are probably effective for. Even if someone really hated their job, they would still probably want to live.

A few months ago a family member who is in serious physical pain due to an illness said that they would rather live with the pain than die (their illness is not deadly). It really shook me. How could they not want to die?

The answer can be easily found. Think about the way suicide is discussed in media. I'd say at least once a month there is an article about someone who tried to kill themselves and, after being saved and indoctrinated and conditioned back to their previous state, is now content with their life, urging others to do the same. They may even say that "work saved me" or "with the help of society, I was able to find a job". In a way they are not wrong. I think that everyone who plans to stay should work or study because cruel people built the system that way, making it cruel to not engage in it (i.e. living on other people's money). But, for people about to CTB, good performance at work or excellent grades are probably not of utmost importance.

 

[citrusrope]

I feel like some people are just way more willing to compromise. Even if their jobs suck, they might have something else that brings them joy so to them that's enough to tip it into the "I'm happy overall" zone.

Me personally on the other hand, I am greedy as fuck and can't find myself willing to compromise. It's all or nothing to me. If I have to sacrifice my time and energy into something I hate doing like working, which could have been spent doing something I like instead, it's like; why bother even living on this planet then? Pretty dramatic but... my brain is wired that way I guess.

 

[NoMoreSanity]

Simple. Happiness isnt real. Almost everyone wants to die, they just don't say it. This forum is a good example of that. Happiness isnt an aspect of life, its a nice dream we can never reach. Hate is what drives humans. Even those who claim to do things "out of love" still use hate to fuel their ideas and emotions.

 

[TheMountainTreeEgg]

I think a lot of people delude themselves into thinking that wage - slavery is normal.
We were brainwashed in school to believe that working is a normal and honourable thing to do.
Its not normal to be a slave for some corporation or whatever in order to pay for things that should actually be free.
A long time ago, you lived wherever you wanted, built your own shelter for free and lived off the land.
I doubt anyone is truly happy being a wage - slave.
.

I agree, me and a buddy of mine went to costa rica and talked about how it would be cool if we could buy a small house and live off the land, it sounded so much more peaceful then this hellhole.

 

[ihatemyselfwanttodi]

I feel like some people are just way more willing to compromise. Even if their jobs suck, they might have something else that brings them joy so to them that's enough to tip it into the "I'm happy overall" zone.

Me personally on the other hand, I am greedy as fuck and can't find myself willing to compromise. It's all or nothing to me. If I have to sacrifice my time and energy into something I hate doing like working, which could have been spent doing something I like instead, it's like; why bother even living on this planet then? Pretty dramatic but... my brain is wired that way I guess.

Wow I feel I can really relate to your last part there. For some reason I also tend towards that way of thinking. If I have to do this for most of the rest of my life anyway, what's the point?

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't get it either. More so, why people who hate their jobs have children knowing that their children will also have to work a third of their time (at least) to pay for the 'privelage'. Most people I know don't actually get that much time off and- they're so tired in their downtime that, they can't really enjoy it. It doesn't even puzzle me so much that they claim they're happy because often- they don't! They admit that all isn't entirely well a lot of the time. It puzzles me more that they aren't outright suicidal like us and that they have children to perpetuate the cycle.

 

[Grav]

I think most people can be unhappy and not suicidal. Going to a job is something most people do and when not at that job, do the stuff you'd rather do. Yes everyone would love to have everything for free and never have a care in the world, not sure what world that is but it's not real and never will be. So you make do and run the gauntlet hoping not to get hit too hard. Some make it big and others get smacked right out of the gate. My brother retired at 45, I still work at a job I hate and that's the way it goes; I can make my decisions. I also don't think many people view themselves through their job, it's a job and when they leave it for the day that door closes and the focus goes on other things. My wife works at a job that gets frustrating but I doubt she "hates" it but would really rather do something else, although she likes the business she works for. Whenever I see those "love your job" surveys they seem worded to love/hate instead of "would you rather" which would be more accurate.

 

[nails]

this discussion came up in one of my favorite shows, House.
i've only seen the episode once and it was a long time ago, so i might get some details wrong.
iirc, the patient in the episode was an actor who hated his job because of lack of meaning or something. two of the doctors, Kutner (an overall happy, positive guy) and Thirteen (more pessimistic and possibly depressed), had a discussion about the correlation between happiness and your job/circumstances.
Kutner was surprised that a famous actor could be miserable because he has such a cool job. Thirteen called out the problems with that statement, implying that it's more about the individual; and Kutner argued that your circumstances are what affect your happiness... something along those lines.
Thirteen then asked him if he had ever worked a miserable job, and he said that he had. she then asked if he was ever miserable, even when working that job—and he said that he wasn't.
there's a lot of underlying lore that can be tied into this scene (ifykyk), but i don't want to go offtopic and/or spoil some shit.

anyways, i do think it's possible for someone to be genuinely happy while working a miserable job. we see people going through the worst events, dealing with unsolvable/unmanageable issues who still have the drive to live and be happy. on the opposite end of spectrum, we see people with great lives and minimal issues who are miserable and planning to end it all. i guess you could argue delusion for either side, but there's really no point to that—it's all valid. it truly does just depend on the person and their thinking, philosophies, history, drive, and of course, the chemical balances in their brain.
also, i think a lot of the happy people who are working miserable jobs just have a lot of positivity surrounding them. for a decent amount of people: even if a big part of their life sucks, it almost doesn't even matter if everything else is going well.
i also agree with the other comments about a lot of people simply believing that these awful jobs are normal/people brainwashing themselves into believing that they're happy—but it seems that this has already been discussed and i don't have anything meaningful to add, lol.

i honestly didn't have to bring up that episode; but if i see an opportunity to talk about House, i'm going to talk about House, lol sorry. discussions like these happen a lot in the series, so i highly recommend watching it if you haven't already.

 

[Grav]

I think most people know if the job they're in is pleasurable and most would say it's not but it's probably not something they despise. I've been in jobs I didn't "love" but I'm there to get paid and do other stuff. People probably handle the stress of the job better than those who look at CTB and I think part of that is they aren't dealing with the other issues that can mike life miserable. So is it a cocktail of things? I wonder as well how many people are in jobs they would want to do vs what they happen to have?