MeltingHeart
Visionary
- Sep 9, 2019
- 2,151
If I suddenly go dark on here over the next few wks- you can presume I have gone and done partial or full somewhere- hope this doesnt come across as attention seeking-but just in case-thought it is worth stating in advance to save speculation. Things are very bad at the house since my SN got intercepted and taken-im being bullied, manipulated and gas lighted alot into being told that the reason I want to ctb is because I have a mental illness- I have never being diagnosed with anything at all-and I can give very good rational, philosophical and situational reasons for wanting to ctb- largely to do with the adult figures in my life-the very ones that have caused me so much sadness-that now accuse me of being mentally ill (i suppose to alleviate the guilt on their part) and who in actual fact exhibit far more signs of true mental illness that I do. Im being goaded and emotionally attacked every day to the extent that eventually I prob will snap (im usually quite calm and in good control of my emotions and temper) and 'act' in such a way that will give them cause to have me sectioned-which is exactly what they want-this is what they are aiming for-they would rather i be locked away than ctb - that way avoiding guilt- they can simply blame ' mental illness'. I have to find away to ctb before she tries to get me taken away- as she has repeatedly threatened- if i try and run away they will call the police or the white coats as I am deemed 'at risk' at the moment. So i have to do something close by, i have to be quick & i have to get it right. Being in somewhere-when I do not have a mental illness just a deep deep sadness-is the worst possible thing in the world that could happen to me.
