If i do choose to live life i will most probably be a forever alone. What are some tips and opinions you can give to make it more bearable?

[HermitLonerGuy]

How can i be alone but still generally content?

What can i do to keep busy and avoid being lonely?

Any tips or hints to distract myself ?

I realized if i recover id have to be single (not out of choice but id be choosing to stop looking because i cant handle the pain of rejection anymore and a woman would end up not being happy in the long term with me anyway).

 

[bestroper]

the sun is always alone but still shines

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

the sun is always alone but still shines

good saying!

 

[QteStimBnnuy]

Loneliness is a bottomless hole, the feeling can go to infinite lengths. That being said, just always keep improving yourself. Keep realistic standards, get some friends in the hobbies that you like
Or obtain hobbies if none and is currently possible, ect. Working out is a popular one to use your pain on

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Loneliness is a bottomless hole, the feeling can go to infinite lengths. That being said, just always keep improving yourself. Keep realistic standards, get some friends in the hobbies that you like
Or obtain hobbies if none and is currently possible, ect. Working out is a popular one to use your pain on

thank you for your reply, indeed hobbies and working out can serve as good distractions from being alone and yes friends help a great deal although in my case my friends are only online but still i care for them.

 

[Mimi_]

Eventually you will get used to it. You can try to get a work where you need to be in contact with others, go to meetings, chat online, join groups of things you like. You might not create strong bonds, but it would still be better than none.

 

[crowbait]

it sounds fake but being in the sun and even just outside helps a lot, it's a legit biological thing. look into hobbies, you don't have to be good at them- get an old camera on ebay, take a pottery class, paint, etc. get a pet! something to snuggle and spend time with, and to love you unconditionally. keep yourself busy- i find my loneliness is most crippling when i do nothing, but when i fill my days with antique shops, farmer markets, movies at the theatre, restaurants, day trips, nature walks, etc, things feel brighter. also friends can be just as fullfilling as a romantic partner- there's apps like bumble bff to find friends and if you have any current ones, maintaining and treasuring those connections is so nice.

 

[Final-push123]

I wrestled with this myself at one point but I think I found a solid answer.

It's in too parts

The 1st Is to work with your emotions, not just take about it but really work through them. Emotions tell us what truly going on subconsciously the inside us. From there we can work on meeting those needs/wants or mourn the fact that you cannot have it. Think of emotions as check engine light on a car, the light it self isn't the problem it only points to a problem being present, once you look into it farther you can figure out the problem and to began to fix it. What help me personally was rational emotional behavioral therapy, it help me break down my emotions ao that I can help and support my emotional/mental health l

The 2nd one is to learn how to really "get off".
Or meeting you own needs sexually, despite what people say it possible to do it, check out onaholes for information.

The key is to meet the emotional and sexual needs yourself as well as enjoying your life in general

 

[Iamchickenhat]

Hey. I've lived alone for the last 13 years. It took a little bit to get used to it, but I've come to know I'm more comfortable alone. I don't do all the nice things the ppl here do. I'm just alone in my apt, but it's made comfortable by my dog and cat. I like to watch TV and doomscroll Twitter. But it's just an extension of how I've always lived, even with family. Just watch TV and be content.

I think you should listen to the ppl here above me.

Living alone isn't a bad thing, and for some of us it's the better way.

I wish you peace and joy in finding yours, should you choose it.

 

[Amnesiaisalloverme]

I dont think I have something to suggest thats already not being suggested here but i would say
1. Choose to achieve a certain skill and keep doing them until u start earning good through it.
2. Develop hobbies
3. Try to make irl frnds and work on yourself emotionally to manage when people hurt u or
4. I think this can be the most rewarding start doinf some charity work like volunteering for old house or orphanage. Ull feel worthy by being helpful to others.
Xoxo

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

I dont think I have something to suggest thats already not being suggested here but i would say
1. Choose to achieve a certain skill and keep doing them until u start earning good through it.
2. Develop hobbies
3. Try to make irl frnds and work on yourself emotionally to manage when people hurt u or
4. I think this can be the most rewarding start doinf some charity work like volunteering for old house or orphanage. Ull feel worthy by being helpful to others.
Xoxo

yes you are so right especially the charity and volunteering part! thank you my dear friend.

 

[Source Energy]

Being alone has its perks. You do whatever you want, whenever you want, no responsibilities. Think of the countless men and women who make a family, have kids, and after 5-10-20 years one of them cheats and it all goes to hell. Typically the man loses assets and kids custody. They remain alone and broken, worse off than never having been coupled at all. Or you fall madly in love with someone who just leaves you for someone else and you get your heart shattered. Better never to start at all.

In terms of distractions, what worked for me for many years was movies and books. Now I'm more focused on body building, pretty clothes and making myself look my best. If you are ok with traveling alone, that's a distraction too. I used to, when I was younger, now I'm too sad.

There are things you can immerse yourself should you choose to go on. That decision require a lot of introspection. Only you know inside if you can ever find something worth sticking around or it is the end.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

If you like animals,adopt a rescue one.
They give so much love ( and company)

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Being alone has its perks. You do whatever you want, whenever you want, no responsibilities. Think of the countless men and women who make a family, have kids, and after 5-10-20 years one of them cheats and it all goes to hell. Typically the man loses assets and kids custody. They remain alone and broken, worse off than never having been coupled at all. Or you fall madly in love with someone who just leaves you for someone else and you get your heart shattered. Better never to start at all.

In terms of distractions, what worked for me for many years was movies and books. Now I'm more focused on body building, pretty clothes and making myself look my best. If you are ok with traveling alone, that's a distraction too. I used to, when I was younger, now I'm too sad.

There are things you can immerse yourself should you choose to go on. That decision require a lot of introspection. Only you know inside if you can ever find something worth sticking around or it is the end.

All very good points! and thank you for your helpful advice.

If you like animals,adopt a rescue one.
They give so much love ( and company)

id love to but they dont allow us in these apartments and also im poor so cant afford to look after one .

 

[Unending]

I don't think this is groundbreaking or anything but it was important for me to realize that you can feel lonely when you are in the company of others too and that sometimes, you can even feel more alone with others around. I personally have learned to prefer alone time through experience. Again, maybe that's not even helpful but it's just some thoughts that I had.

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

Women are just the start of your problems. It's a new phase of life - if they enter your world, you have a whole different set of issues. In a way I envy that total absence of "opposite sex" because it simplifies things. I'm not diminishing the pain of loneliness in any way, but there are whole worlds of pain that you'll be spared if you avoid fraternizing. I'm not even sure I necessarily agree with the "better to have loved and lost thing" because in some sense it's better to have never known than be repeatedly fucked over.

I suppose the key would be to find something that motivates you from the soul. But that's very difficult if you don't feel validated in a very fundamental, biological way. I wish it were easier for us to find our respective currencies independently of one another, but I can't help but think that's something of a pipe dream. Is there anything that captivates you other than finding someone?

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

Women are just the start of your problems. It's a new phase of life - if they enter your world, you have a whole different set of issues. In a way I envy that total absence of "opposite sex" because it simplifies things. I'm not diminishing the pain of loneliness in any way, but there are whole worlds of pain that you'll be spared if you avoid fraternizing. I'm not even sure I necessarily agree with the "better to have loved and lost thing" because in some sense it's better to have never known than be repeatedly fucked over.

I suppose the key would be to find something that motivates you from the soul. But that's very difficult if you don't feel validated in a very fundamental, biological way. I wish it were easier for us to find our respective currencies independently of one another, but I can't help but think that's something of a pipe dream. Is there anything that captivates you other than finding someone?

good perspective and for sure all the heartbreak, jealousy and fights / being cheated on or used or controlled and having to make compromises is quite nerve wrecking in itself so i could be spared all that.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I guess it's going to depend on what kind of person you are. I would describe myself as a natural loner. I'm alone but not lonely. I actually prefer to be alone most of the time. I find it more of a strain to be around other people.

However- if you're not that sort of person- and you crave company, I'm not sure how easy it will be to go without it. For me- I can lose myself in being creative or computer games or- to a lesser extent- film and music. If you need people in your life though- maybe join clubs, do evening classes, build a wide circle of friends.

Personally though, I've found that relying on people is risky. They can be notoriously unreliable and self centred. Maybe most of us are now. To not get hurt- I think you need to go into friendships without expectations to an extent now. Be grateful for the time you have with them but try not to get to a point where you expect or rely on it. Probably a very cynical point of view but I think it's more realistic. I wish you luck.

 

[fizi22]

sex workers occasionally. you could even find where you guy gets build a connection and build a type of personal relationship. not a relationship, but you know what i mean.

exercise

real life friends

development an artistic out

try to find something you enjoy and try to excel at it

Have you ever had a gf before hermit?

 

[HermitLonerGuy]

sex workers occasionally. you could even find where you guy gets build a connection and build a type of personal relationship. not a relationship, but you know what i mean.

exercise

real life friends

development an artistic out

try to find something you enjoy and try to excel at it

Have you ever had a gf before hermit?

thanks for all your advice fizi my love and ive had a gf yes we only kissed and held each other and we broke up cause her mother didnt like my race this was long ago and of course ive had online relationships.

 

[Georg]

You need friends who don't have a partner either.