If i die ( notes )

[iamsofkntired]

I'm writing the notes for my family and when I finally do it ill leave the name of this account and the password under my bed so that my brother could find it , if you did then hi Adam. Imma be writing to the whole family so make sure to give it to them pleaseee :3 love you bro

Adam first ofc :
Hiii I know this sucks for you but i want you to know that I love you so much the reason I lived all of this was because of you but I want you to please understand that this is what I want , it's what's gonna make me happy. I know you told me many times that it will get better but I'm telling you that I know that it will but I just can't wait , I don't want to wait ot even live I'm just so tired of living even with him or with out him I just don't want to do the whole school college work family thing . I'm sick of it I'm sick of millions of people repeating the same cycle qnd I don't want to be with them . I know this is selfish but know that I love you I really love you but im choosing myself for one last time . I love you alot .


Malak :
Hiiiiii first I want to say that I'm sorry , I love you . I'm so so so sorry I know you dreamed of a future with me and haneen and adam but I just can't do it . I love you so much but i want you to be strong and have faith pray and be okay take care of yourself , of college and take care of adam . Try to be happy and know that I did what I wanted to do and that I'm where I wanted to be . I love you alot .


Haneen :

Hiiii , so um im sorry . I know we talked so much about me moving in with you and what I'm gonna study in college but I just want you to know that I'm really sorry . I love you so so so much and I know you've been throughout alot but I just want you to stay strong , you've always been strong and I know you can make it . Take care of your self and take care of adam and please to be happy for me for adam and for his and your future . I love you so much please stay safe and healthy .

Mom :
هاي يما مش عارفة ايش احكيلك الصراحة بس اسفة بعرف انك كنتي بدك الأحسن الي و ضحيتي بمليون شغلة عشاني انا و ادم بس بحكيلك لنو هاضا هو الاشي الي بدي اياه بعرفش هيك بحس انو الاشي الوحيد الي نخلقت عشانو ديري بالك عادم و شوفيه طلعيها خليه يضل عالكمبيوتر اذا بدو بس خليكي معاه و احكيلو عن مستقبلو مع حنين و ملاك و ادهم و قسام و ديري بالك عحالك ، اشتغلي و شوفي حياتك و بحبك باي .

Dad :
سلام يابا ، بعرف اني وعدتك ما اعيدها و هيكا بس يعني انا عارفة هاضا الي بدي اياه دير بالك عحالك و دير بالك عادم خليك معاه و شوف امي خليها تحكي معو دير بالك عليه و هونها عليه خليه يعطل عن المدرسة فترة خليه يرتاح اعبطو خليه يعيط خليه يرتاح والسلام عليكم


.
And that's all adam I love you so fucking much I'm so so so so sorry you're too young and you don't deserve this but know that I love you from all my heart

 

[magicwiccan1]

I don't think this is the place to direct family members to, it would be heart breaking enough for them to hear the sad news let alone be direct to a website that discusses suicide, the subject alone to them would be devastating. Maybe have a heart to heart with them as is sounds like you love them so much. There is still hope and talking to them might give you the courage you need to be strong and overcome your challenges. I really hope you rethink this for their sake.

 

[iamsofkntired]

I don't think this is the place to direct family members to, it would be heart breaking enough for them to hear the sad news let alone be direct to a website that discusses suicide, the subject alone to them would be devastating. Maybe have a heart to heart with them as is sounds like you love them so much. There is still hope and talking to them might give you the courage you need to be strong and overcome your challenges. I really hope you rethink this for their sake.

Yes I know but this is the only place that my family can't find and I'm trying to leave them a something at least but this is the only option also my brother knows what to do and he would just send them the notes , I've tried everything to stay alive but living is just not it for me