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Painless_end

Painless_end

Life is too difficult for me
Oct 11, 2019
794
I know you can do your own threads. You can also post here.

If anyone feels like they really got some kind of a bad deal in life somehow even though you tried your best and now you feel like CTB then share your pain here.

By bad deal I mean if you got some kind of physical or mental illness, injury, accident or like me, just plain mental incompetence to stand up to the world and struggle through life seems very difficult to you, then share your pain so we can try to support each other.
 
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Mr2005

Mr2005

Don't shoot the messenger, give me the gun
Sep 25, 2018
3,622
Just spoke to my mum. Might as well be the last time. She either does not get it or is just protecting herself. Hadn't seen her since April apparently. I hadn't realised and I don't care. It'll be 2030 in five minutes. I'll be 50 in 10. There is zero point continuing. It could have been a good life but it wasn't and there's nothing I can do about it. Girlfriend waits patiently on the sidelines for this life she wants that I can't give her. I first met her in 2008 and things that happened before that date are still ruining my life because no one dealt with it. My mum saying she'd do anything for me just isn't true. It's that thinking that's kept me a 17 year old forever while the worlds moved on. What good is it learning it was my responsibility now? All I can do with that is end it on my terms.
 
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Painless_end

Painless_end

Life is too difficult for me
Oct 11, 2019
794
I am here to listen if anyone feels they want to unload their heavy burdens. You can also PM me.
 
R

Reach

Member
Jun 28, 2020
63
I hate that I can't make connections with other people because I don't trust anybody and that I have zero self esteem to do so. I hate that people around me having fun and friends while I don't. I hate so much everything about myself and I wish if I was never born.
 
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M

Misfit72

Student
Aug 25, 2020
156
Curious89 said:
I am here to listen if anyone feels they want to unload their heavy burdens. You can also PM me.
Click to expand...

Thanks - I posted my draft suicide note here - https://sanctioned-suicide.net/threads/draft-suicide-note.49143/
 
SipSop

SipSop

Arcanist
May 7, 2020
483
Curious89 said:
I know you can do your own threads. You can also post here.

If anyone feels like they really got some kind of a bad deal in life somehow even though you tried your best and now you feel like CTB then share your pain here.

By bad deal I mean if you got some kind of physical or mental illness, injury, accident or like me, just plain mental incompetence to stand up to the world and struggle through life seems very difficult to you, then share your pain so we can try to support each other.
Click to expand...
So nice of you.
 
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almost_dead

almost_dead

Arcanist
Aug 7, 2020
465
I am gonna go all out :-
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BerryCakes

BerryCakes

Local Case Study
Sep 20, 2020
94
Sorry if this is a touchy topic for you. Feel free to ignore me if so.

I'm a little bit surprised by the kind of reactions I got from the thread I made about my ex. I mean, I know a lot of people have really bad experiences with those kinds of individuals, but a LOT of assumptions were thrown my way. I know not to take it personally, but holy Hell.

I don't know, maybe I'm the messed up one in all of this. I spent a lot of my teenage years going onto questionable websites like 4chan. I was always a loner with more of a morbid sense of curiosity than what was right for me. I'm a pretty harmless individual who obviously has a sense of basic empathy, but maybe I find destructive tendencies or mindsets more "normal"/common than they actually are.

It probably doesn't help that I detest the idea of being with someone who's neurotypical or anything similar. It's just... when you have MDD, ADHD, and scoliosis, it really makes you wonder if it'd even be possible to see eye-to-eye with someone who doesn't have any kind of disability or disorder. Those sorts of unburdened individuals just seem to be living on a entirely different planet in my eyes.

Where's the line here? When is someone too messed up to associate with them? I know abusers, murderers, etc. are obviously off-limits, but what about everything beneath that? I just don't understand. I really, really don't.
 
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grungeCat

grungeCat

Awkward & weird
Jul 5, 2020
1,110
Sisters has lately kicked me out the house I used to live with my mother and now I have to stay in a foreign land (Norway) with my father. I don't know anything about living here and I'm anxious as hell. It's good I have anywhere to live at least but it's not that important for me now. It was so easy to buy high purity SN in Poland where I come from and guess fucking what. I managed to get antiemetics and I put buying SN off. Because I'm fucking moron and I didn't predict these sluts will kick me out. And now I cannot buy SN here because no, Norwegians turned out to be left-sided pro-lifers. I didn't have airport security's approval to take metoclopramid here as well so fucking shit.
 
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W

whywere

Visionary
Jun 26, 2020
2,908
I have had 24/7 chronic pain since 2015, when I was in a really bad car crash, NOT my fault. Driving down the road going south and another person driving east and blew threw a stop sign and I t-boned him. I am on ALOT of hydromorphone, HATE IT!!, and celexa and I get around 3 hours of sleep before the pain wakes me up and I have to get up and walk around. Nerosurgons , all of them, that I have gone to, have told me that there is nothing that can be done. Medical science has NOT progressed far enough. Without my global family on here I would have ctb a long time ago. THANK YOU to everyone!!
 
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Painless_end

Painless_end

Life is too difficult for me
Oct 11, 2019
794
If anyone wants to share their pain you can post here I am listening
 
R

rt1989526

Paragon
Aug 2, 2020
935
grungeCat said:
Sisters has lately kicked me out the house I used to live with my mother and now I have to stay in a foreign land (Norway) with my father. I don't know anything about living here and I'm anxious as hell. It's good I have anywhere to live at least but it's not that important for me now. It was so easy to buy high purity SN in Poland where I come from and guess fucking what. I managed to get antiemetics and I put buying SN off. Because I'm fucking moron and I didn't predict these sluts will kick me out. And now I cannot buy SN here because no, Norwegians turned out to be left-sided pro-lifers. I didn't have airport security's approval to take metoclopramid here as well so fucking shit.
Click to expand...

What gives them the right to kick you out? Sorry to hear friend.
 
lost guy

lost guy

Just a guy trying to work things out.
Aug 12, 2020
94
I can't get over the fact that she left me after 11 years. It's been 8 months since she bounced. My anxiety finally got between us.

I never cheated on her or abused her. I cared for her and loved her. My crippling anxiety just made me over think things and froze me.

Now I am in a deep state of depression. I drink way to much and stay out to late trying to fill the void of loneliness.

Meeting new women and casual sex is definitely not the answer I am looking for. I just want to be back home with her, the kid, and my pets.

I will never get that back. I wish I had more strength and courage to move forward. Instead I am sabotaging the rest of my life because I don't adapt well to change.
 
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