Yes I will still be suicidal
Many reasons for this.
I don't want anything from evil life or this evil world
.........
Life is an evil imposition torture slavery prison
Even if your worse problems get solved. There will always be the chance of something else horrible happening to u or the same problems returning. Suffering problems sickness disease pain injustice parasites oppression old age unfairness and many other horrible nightmares are inherent parts of this evil world and evil life.
there are many other reasons that sit on top of those above.
there is no way to undo horrible things that happened in the past to you so the memories trauma the memories of the unfairness will always be there . the only thing that will get rid of all nightmares that happened or could happen is non-existence forever. the only thing that will undo all evil is permanent non-existence.
non-existence forever is the only gaurantee of never suffering extremely, the only guarantee of no pain, no sufferring, no bad memories , no problems , no work , no 1000 other hells.
you work 15 hours per day a job chores only to exist under threat of extreme torture . only to exist to get old and suffer the torture of old age and watching yourself decay. there is pain so bad one minute of it makes everything else meaningless. there is no purpose to work so hard only to exist under threat of extreme torture.
they made this world an even worse prison by making guaranteed suicide methods into crimes like someone helping you with suicide they made it a crime . so we are all prisoners
what is worth the worst pain? think of putting your hand on a red hot stove . the unbearable searing excruciating pain. how long could you hold your hand there pressing against red hot metal? i couldn't stand 1 second of that pain. what if you couldn;t pull it away and was forced to leave it there? what is worth 1 minute of that pain? 1 hour? what about all of your skin not just your hand against red hot metal as in the Brazen bull torture? what is worth 6 hours of that constant unbearable pain. yes the torture mechanisms caused it but it is that the brain is capable of producing such pain that is the horror the problem. if my brain was destroyed they could put my body all day on the burning metal and i wouldn't feel a thing cause id be dead and non-existent. see so the problem is that i'm alive and that horrible things can happen to me. and nothing is worth even 1 minute of the brazen bull torture much less days , months years which is possible . is a sandwich a youtube video worth that? No. who would trade 6 hours of watching youtube videos "enjoying" yourself for 6 hours of the brazen bull torture ? not me .
life is meaningless suffering. i see no reason for why i have to live another minute. nothing matters. what will matter in 150 years? what will matter in 10,000 years? in a trillion years? nothing. when i think about it logically the only things that matter to me are avoiding unbearable pain and my suicide asap
there is no reason to live even if didn't know i'm just cells, chemical reactions and a brain that can suffer unending constant unbearable pain. but knowing i'm chemical reactions what possible purpose? i see none
personally i feel every minute i continue in this hell i condone the evil imposition the evil done to me the slavery , every time i engage in ridiculous pleasure habits addictions like youtube news social media i condone all the evil i listed above and more i haven't written in this post or anywhere on this site.
only eternal non-existence wipes out all the evil for me and prevents any future suffering. only non-existence forever is the only perfection.