raindrops
Someday, eventually
- Mar 29, 2020
- 447
random this is and hello anyone who reads, im just remembering here...
...just sometimes i think about GoodPersonEffed. actually i think of her a lot.
i remember the first time i read one of her posts, wow...
if you've seen The Office (USA) that scene when Michael meets Hollie and he says something like -
"she has so much warmth, im pretty sure she was a baker, im sure she baked at professional level" humour aside she really was full of warmth in my opinion.
the first time i came here i felt empty, i sorta still do (no wait thats denial i said "sorta") my words were rambles at the beginning when i found this site, long long sentences and paragraphs, essay!! ((they still are!!)) she though read my post and she made me feel welcome here and every time i was crying or venting or both, her answers were perfect, they were forward and true. they say the truth hurts. although i never felt hurt by her words, just the brutal truth and reality of it all.
an intellect, wasn't she just, her words and way of typing was a marvel too me, really! she seemed smart and an amazing rational thinker.
she believed in Stoicism, she certainly was wise. and i suppose i wish she was here, how selfish of me, "i wish you were here to deal with my problem" no, no its not that, she just had this particular warmth.
annnd... i have no one, not literally... but no mother, father, my sisters have their own life... i have my own life i suppose.
i have 0 reliable friends because i chose my partner, 13 yrs together since we were 15.
he has loved me, and does love me and im lucky, but ofc because ive shunned everyone, gradually, naturally and quite obviously ignorantly i have no best friend or 2 or 3 friends, those that i do have are not what i want in a friend, they're lives are not like when we were 14, so ffs, i find it so hard to befriend, socially awkward on a minor scale perhaps.
so yeah, i read a bit about Stoicism and how they had dignity in dying, it was so thought out and dignified and how they explain dignity is interesting. im naive to it all but it has kept me going and thinking about death and how, if i go, it must be dignified.
...just sometimes i think about GoodPersonEffed. actually i think of her a lot.
i remember the first time i read one of her posts, wow...
if you've seen The Office (USA) that scene when Michael meets Hollie and he says something like -
"she has so much warmth, im pretty sure she was a baker, im sure she baked at professional level" humour aside she really was full of warmth in my opinion.
the first time i came here i felt empty, i sorta still do (no wait thats denial i said "sorta") my words were rambles at the beginning when i found this site, long long sentences and paragraphs, essay!! ((they still are!!)) she though read my post and she made me feel welcome here and every time i was crying or venting or both, her answers were perfect, they were forward and true. they say the truth hurts. although i never felt hurt by her words, just the brutal truth and reality of it all.
an intellect, wasn't she just, her words and way of typing was a marvel too me, really! she seemed smart and an amazing rational thinker.
she believed in Stoicism, she certainly was wise. and i suppose i wish she was here, how selfish of me, "i wish you were here to deal with my problem" no, no its not that, she just had this particular warmth.
annnd... i have no one, not literally... but no mother, father, my sisters have their own life... i have my own life i suppose.
i have 0 reliable friends because i chose my partner, 13 yrs together since we were 15.
he has loved me, and does love me and im lucky, but ofc because ive shunned everyone, gradually, naturally and quite obviously ignorantly i have no best friend or 2 or 3 friends, those that i do have are not what i want in a friend, they're lives are not like when we were 14, so ffs, i find it so hard to befriend, socially awkward on a minor scale perhaps.
so yeah, i read a bit about Stoicism and how they had dignity in dying, it was so thought out and dignified and how they explain dignity is interesting. im naive to it all but it has kept me going and thinking about death and how, if i go, it must be dignified.
