It's funny you mention this because just today I came across this interesting short talking about how we tend to talk about our lives in a similar fashion to how we talk about stories.
This also extends into pro-life rhetoric. People tend to view life as them being the protagonists of their own story and this view is generally encouraged by wider society (competition shows, univeristy/colleges, social media, etc). This can lead to us also viewing ourselves in a more story-based sort of manner. We try to describe our identities in a similar fashion to how you would describe a character, and in some extreme cases, you can even see people who are actually convinced that they are a character from a work of fiction. I've seen a lot of people like this online and it's a bit concerning to be honest...
In reality, our entire being, from the things that happened to us to how they have impacted the way we think, are as a result of chance, rather than it being as a result of some sort of narrative. You can't define a person the same way you would define a character because a real person is too complex. We don't follow a particular character arc and aren't destined for anything. People in general cannot be categorized into neatly boxed identities, but we still try to do this anyway because of a mixture of our tendency to simplify and categorize the things and because we have a habit of viewing life from a more story type of view. This tendency to view life as a story also goes into pro-life rhetoric. Phrases like "it'll get better" likely stem from them viewing life in a more story-like manner, with suicidal people needing to get through their arc in order to have a happily ever after. In reality, things don't necessarily get better because we live in world where things are determined in a more sort of random matter. Some people might get better, but some people might not. It all depends on a variety of factors, like what's going on in someone's life, and also just pure chance.
I personally don't have a strong grasp on my own identity. I never have and probably never will, but that's fine. I used to scramble around doing different personality tests and all sorts of shit in order to try and define myself, but I can't. I've come to accept that. In my opinion, the "self" is just an illusion created by the brain to better aid in our processing of the world around us. My "self" is just a byproduct of my own neural systems. I don't have a particular identity because no particular identity will ever truly encompass the strange and complex being that I am. I like to believe that this applies to everyone. I think that it's better not to tie yourself down to an identity.
Sorry if this reads as nonsense, btw. I've been having a lot thoughts on stuff like this lately that I'm still learning to make sense of, so this post might be kind of nonsensical, lol.
