I'd rather die than take any drugs

[RealLostSoul]

For me dignity is something important. I have seen my cousins and uncles dropping into the drug life (first weed then harder shit, even heroin). They were all losers. I think its in my families DNA. However, I would rather kill myself than becoming even only a pothead. I don't want my conscious to be altered. THIS is how it's supposed to be - a miserable and depressed life with tons of mental disorders. I know I could drink/smoke the pain away for a temporary amount of time. And honestly it's hella tempting sometimes because my life is unendurable but I stay away from it because I don't want to end up like my fucking cousins. I even feel ashamed for trying out some antidepressants some time ago but doctors told me this might be a real solution, naively didn't I know they were useless. Fuck them doctors.

 

[Nem]

Drs suck right from the A-hole
Peace/hugs

 

[Final Escape]

Please don't feel pressured to take psych meds they definitely are dangerous. They can help in the short term but they are very destructive over the long term. You're right to feel this way. They are big money makers for the pharmaceutical companies but they were never intended for people to be on them for life.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Ehhh I kinda think the same I don't wanna take antidepressants, because they just change the way I see the world. They do not change my problems from giant to minor.
Final escape you're right. I know shit about biology but let me say. I don't think that you can make a magic pill that affect just the damaged nerves in your brain I do not trust it.

 

[Wayfaerer]

SSRI's have contributed a lot to my early demise. 7 years over the course of my youth. The first time I was on them for over 3 years until I decided to quit but several months later I had an anxiety episode that I've never had before in my life and felt compelled to crawl back to them for the time being as a necessary evil. I had stopped taking them immediately after starting but trying to live the next 2.5 years in the state that I was in made my life a living nightmare. Got on them again and stayed on them afterwards. Quit them after taking it for another 4 years but I am now experiencing the destruction that they cause.

 

[Hadenuf]

They destroyed me that's why I want to go

 

[Sweet emotion]

For me dignity is something important. I have seen my cousins and uncles dropping into the drug life (first weed then harder shit, even heroin). They were all losers. I think its in my families DNA. However, I would rather kill myself than becoming even only a pothead. I don't want my conscious to be altered. THIS is how it's supposed to be - a miserable and depressed life with tons of mental disorders. I know I could drink/smoke the pain away for a temporary amount of time. And honestly it's hella tempting sometimes because my life is unendurable but I stay away from it because I don't want to end up like my fucking cousins. I even feel ashamed for trying out some antidepressants some time ago but doctors told me this might be a real solution, naively didn't I know they were useless. Fuck them doctors.

Maybe you need to try different snti depressants. You cant just settle for the first drug or the first therapist you get.

 

[RealLostSoul]

Maybe you need to try different snti depressants. You cant just settle for the first drug or the first therapist you get.

Homie I've tried 6 different ones. And was at 5 different therapists. Fuck this garbage scam system.

Ehhh I kinda think the same I don't wanna take antidepressants, because they just change the way I see the world. They do not change my problems from giant to minor.

Yea you are right. You can't also talk your problems away or whatever.

 

[Rollo]

That's how you feel. To me the only connection between drugs and dignity is that people who see drugs as evil were always trying to take away my dignity for using them. Like just the other day I was caught by a bunch of plainclothed drug cops patrolling the forested area while I was looking for my weed stashed by a dealer. Their key phrases after refusing to show me their police id's "if you think you live in a state with a rule of law you're wrong", "we're in a forest, we're just going to dump you here". Quite a showdown it was, but I still managed to get away with my dignity intact.

 

[RealLostSoul]

Remember what I said? Well. I took a higher dosage of sleeping pills right now, again after a loooong time... because I couldn't take it anymore. Can't sleep and I have no reason to wake up and live tomorrow. I want to skip tomorrow and the next few days/weeks as best as possible but I think i might have OD'd a little. Feeling very dizzy and blacked out right now. Dang. Idk I hope I wake up though because I am not done yet, still have to finish my journal + recordings. But if not and this is my last message, you know what happened. I'll keep you updated. Fuck life. I hate the world. I have nothing left to live for. I lost everything. I am done. This is my last statement. Good night and see you tomorrow :)

 

[Wayfaerer]

They destroyed me that's why I want to go

In what way specifically, if you don't mind me asking?

 

[Hadenuf]

In what way specifically, if you don't mind me asking?

I only too k sertraline for 4 days and felt all nervous and anxious so I stopped them on a Thursday then on Saturday I had some like withdrawal symptoms and for 5 days went on a drinking binge I barely recall I visited shops and spent money on things I don't even have or know what I bought and finally came out with permanent tinnitus and career ruined it was only after those 5 days I calmed down and look back wondering what I had done and why after a lot of research I found information on anti depressants and how they can cause different strange effects on different people and I began to understand they were the cause of my behaviour now I have to take lorazepam permanent to sleep and are constantly anxious

 

[RealLostSoul]

In what way specifically, if you don't mind me asking?

Like the user above said. They gave me nothing positive but side effects + withdrawal symptoms