Help I'd like to kindly ask for advice.

[KuroiSH]

For starters, I'm one of those people that believe they're subhuman. My childhood was horrible, and very scarring psychologically. I would've had more value as a pest eating insect. But I've recently picked up this unhealthy habit of creating problems for myself, because I get very stressed when I don't have any problems. This in turn causes me to stress about said problem, and makes me feel bad, but not having anything to worry about also makes me feel awful.

My question is, do you have any honest advice you can give me, or any healthy coping mechanisms I could try, to stop being so paranoid about peace in my life? I feel like such an actual freak show because I long for mental stability, but also actively deliberately pursue ruining it.

 

[AllCatsAreGrey]

My biggest suggestion is giving intentional space for feeling the occasional things that feel good. The small little things. Give yourself the space to feel how good they feel when they feel good.

Taking it one moment at a time lessons the weight of the overall burden.

When I first started trying to do this it was so difficult. It was as if all of the good things were tainted by the weight of it all. Spending more time with those things can help direct you towards a life you'd like to live.

I get your fear and frustration of being directed towards tendencies you don't like. Sometimes it feels like we're programmed for destruction. But, I'd say that the fact that you have the insight to name your tendencies shows that you have the capacity to rewire them.

 

[puella]

I'm a chess player. The game is essentially just many complex problem solving puzzles. Maybe that could help, or at least be a good distraction.

And I know it isn't what you asked for advice on, but I want you to know I value you.

 

[KuroiSH]

I'm a chess player. The game is essentially just many complex problem solving puzzles. Maybe that could help, or at least be a good distraction.

And I know it isn't what you asked for advice on, but I want you to know I value you.

I don't know why you value me, but thank you so much. I'll definitely get a board when I can; anything helps at this point.

My biggest suggestion is giving intentional space for feeling the occasional things that feel good. The small little things. Give yourself the space to feel how good they feel when they feel good.

Taking it one moment at a time lessons the weight of the overall burden.

When I first started trying to do this it was so difficult. It was as if all of the good things were tainted by the weight of it all. Spending more time with those things can help direct you towards a life you'd like to live.

I get your fear and frustration of being directed towards tendencies you don't like. Sometimes it feels like we're programmed for destruction. But, I'd say that the fact that you have the insight to name your tendencies shows that you have the capacity to rewire them.

I really hope I can "rewire" them, even if it's slowly but surely... despair eats at me like one of those skin eating drugs, and it all feels so unbearably terrible. Basic tasks like getting out of bed feel like such a hassle, and I feel so useless because of it, which doesn't help at all.

 

[puella]

I don't know why you value me, but thank you so much. I'll definitely get a board when I can; anything helps at this point.

Everyone deserves to be valued. I care about you unconditionally; I don't need any reason.

<lichess.org> is a free website to play chess. I use it more than my board, it has everything. Let me know if you need anything.

 

[gardenfairy]

i also create problems for myself, i know how you feel. when things feel bad or if there's a lot weighing on my mind, i like to get out into nature - look up at the stars in the sky or feed ducks at a pond. it helps to realise that the world is so big, it sort of acts as a reminder that as much as my problems and worries feel crushing, they aren't really as huge as they sometimes feel. it's a comforting reminder that the world continues to turn even when i feel like it's crumbling around me. hope this helps, friend <3

 

[Abandoned Character]

If you are anything like me, you may benefit from reading a book on the psychology of anxiety and the affect various traumas may have on our personalities, and how to alleviate their overbearing weight. Depends if you feel comfortable comitting yourself to reading a book (maybe audio is your medium).

Personally, Transformating Anxiety and Transcending Shame by Rex Briggs is an incredible read. I never finished it, but what I got from it has stayed with me ever since I first picked it up. My mother gave it to me after a severe episode.

The most important thing I would like to iterate is practice and patience. Be kind to yourself. Even when I am the most cruel to myself, I can always come back and say "it's okay." Maybe that sounds corny, but it helps me. The rewiring happens slowly, and this is a step towards that, so well done :)

 

[nozomu]

This works well for a lot of people. Her other videos are helpful too but this is a routine you can build around healing from a horrible childhood. She isn't selling anything, she provides this information for free.

 

[real human being]

So, this advice might or might not be right for you, but since you tend to get stressed or create problems when you are unoccupied or your mind has too much space to think, maybe you need to fill that empty space with positive pursuits, or with anything really. Puella recommended chess. That's a solid idea and lichess and chess.com are both free sites where you can play. you can even HMU to play if you want! Maybe something that would get you to go out of your house would be good. Maybe even get a job, though I don't know where you are in life so I don't know if that's relevant to you. I worked in customer service for almost half a year and it was a rather unpleasant job but it did help a bit with my depression, cause just didn't have that much time and energy to think. There's no one size fits all solution, but this might be a good general direction for you to look into. I hope you can get to a better place than where you are now.

 

[yeaimhere13]

accepting that its a good thing to have good days, and understanding that you will also have bad days.

 

[KuroiSH]

Everyone deserves to be valued. I care about you unconditionally; I don't need any reason.

<lichess.org> is a free website to play chess. I use it more than my board, it has everything. Let me know if you need anything.

Will do, though I'll never understand that about people; how they can care about others unconditionally, especially those they never met. But it means a lot to me, so thank you.

accepting that its a good thing to have good days, and understanding that you will also have bad days.

That's definitely very important. I'll try to remember it.