I'd ctb today, but

[Halfhourdays]

Attachments thread.

Why are you still here?

 

[Apokryphiel]

This is a really hard one to say, I could say art, legacy, or something along the lines of a bucket list. There's a lot. I know my time will come soon, I'm just not done here yet.

 

[33-vertebrae]

It's not even an attachment, so much as it would just be vile on my part to commit suicide in my bedroom, when my elderly father lives here and regularly brings over my 11-year old brother. I don't want my room to be a traumatic hotspot for my brother, and I don't want to legally impede my father's ability to have custody of my brother because I made the environment unsafe and harmful with whatever tool I decide to use to off myself, assuming I use either a handgun or a charcoal bricks.

 

[Orc]

I'm buying all the supplies that I'll need to CTB. After that, I'll have no other reasons to stay.

 

[Namelesa]

My main reason for staying here is cus I feel like I have an obligation to lessen the suffering of this world and to provide others what I uniquely can. I have no desire to live for myself cus I want death most as I see death as equal to a good life but life is uncertain in its quality when death isn't. Things to fulfill this purpose would be to:

• look after my dog
• to give info and comfort to other users on here so they better manage life, progress to recover or advice them on methods so their suffering can lessen or end.
• finish the video games I want to make as I might be able to provide something which I can only can to others

 

[Manaaja]

My main reason for staying here is cus I feel like I have an obligation to lessen the suffering of this world and to provide others what I uniquely can. I have no desire to live for myself cus I want death most as I see death as equal to a good life but life is uncertain in its quality when death isn't. Things to fulfill this purpose would be to:

• look after my dog
• to give info and comfort to other users on here so they better manage life, progress to recover or advice them on methods so their suffering can lessen or end.
• finish the games I want to make as I might be able to provide something which I can only can to others

What games are you making?

 

[Namelesa]

What games are you making?

video games, I don't want to go into more info about it in public for privacy reasons

 

[Halfhourdays]

video games, I don't want to go into more info about it in public for privacy reasons

Fair enough, but how about some vague details. RPGs? First person shooter?

 

[Manaaja]

video games, I don't want to go into more info about it in public for privacy reasons

If you want to maximize your privacy, don't make people curious.

 

[FuneralCry]

But I exist in this horrific reality where I'm denied the option to simply cease existing in peace with the suffering and torture of human existence seen as to force and prolong no matter what even know it all just leads to decay and death anyway, I always suffer so much from how painless methods are so cruelly denied for me, it's terrifying to me how there is no limit as to how much a human can be tortured in this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake just to die in agony from old age. What I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering, I'd just never wish for any of this and no matter what I'd prefer to not exist, for me non-existence is the only peace in this existence so torturous and futile, I'll just always see existence as an abomination no matter what and it's one that just causes suffering and harm, I'll always and only see non-existence as positive for me, I just want to never suffer ever again.

 

[Alo the obvi alien]

Other

I don't know if my method will work fully or just make me sick.

 

[Halfhourdays]

Other

I don't know if my method will work fully or just make me sick.

What's your method? Some form of overdose?

If so, it'll just make you feel sick...

But I exist in this horrific reality where I'm denied the option to simply cease existing in peace with the suffering and torture of human existence seen as to force and prolong no matter what even know it all just leads to decay and death anyway, I always suffer so much from how painless methods are so cruelly denied for me, it's terrifying to me how there is no limit as to how much a human can be tortured in this existence I always saw as the most terrible tragic mistake just to die in agony from old age. What I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering, I'd just never wish for any of this and no matter what I'd prefer to not exist, for me non-existence is the only peace in this existence so torturous and futile, I'll just always see existence as an abomination no matter what and it's one that just causes suffering and harm, I'll always and only see non-existence as positive for me, I just want to never suffer ever again.

Dear @FuneralCry

What is it you want? A magical way to "cease existing" without having to ctb?

 

[Alo the obvi alien]

What's your method? Some form of overdose?

If so, it'll just make you feel sick..

I know. I keep trying CO. I tried there was a wind storm. And honestly I was at the point where I just set the bucket ablaze in the house. And bad idea for the smoke but i was so desperate. So i brought it outside and it was windy and the flame was so high because of the wind i threw the entire thing out and just let it burn.

Then the next day i was going to attempt again, but didnt even get the change to because of the rain.

That was my 4th CO attempt.

Im at the point where I want to just drink essential oils and take my chances or getting myself infected until I die

 

[Halfhourdays]

I know. I keep trying CO. I tried there was a wind storm. And honestly I was at the point where I just set the bucket ablaze in the house. And bad idea for the smoke but i was so desperate. So i brought it outside and it was windy and the flame was so high because of the wind i threw the entire thing out and just let it burn.

Then the next day i was going to attempt again, but didnt even get the change to because of the rain.

That was my 4th CO attempt.

Im at the point where I want to just drink essential oils and take my chances

I'm having a hard time with ctb also.

Hanging - just... No.
Gun - can't get one.
CO - not enough privacy where I live.
Jumping - SI
Overdose - my preferred method, but ODs are ineffective...

 

[Alo the obvi alien]

I'm having a hard time with ctb also.

Hanging - just... No.
Gun - can't get one.
CO - not enough privacy where I live.
Jumping - SI
Overdose - my preferred method, but ODs are ineffective...

I wish I had a gun too. I keep telling myself in my next life- god forbid im human again- i need a car and a gun. No other bs.

I hope you find your peace soon.

 

[Halfhourdays]

I wish I had a gun too. I keep telling myself in my next life- god forbid im human again- i need a car and a gun. No other bs.

I hope you find your peace soon.

Very relatable.

And thank you. I am in real, constant pain and would like to find peace.

 

[Lo$t95]

I'm having a hard time with ctb also.

Hanging - just... No.
Gun - can't get one.
CO - not enough privacy where I live.
Jumping - SI
Overdose - my preferred method, but ODs are ineffective...

Just out of curiosity what about hanging turns you off?

I know this question sounds insane but we are both on SaSu so…

 

[Halfhourdays]

Just out of curiosity what about hanging turns you off?

I know this question sounds insane but we are both on SaSu so…

I keep trying this method and SI kicks in too strongly.

 

[footballseason]

It's not even an attachment, so much as it

I have to commend you for your compassion for others, even when you yourself are hurting. Of course, I don't know you or why you're on this site, but I can't imagine it's for happy reasons. It's so much easier to disregard the impact your actions will have on others and just do whatever you want. I hope you give yourself credit for making the effort to be as ethical as possible.

 

[OptingOutSmiling]

I promised to wait and hold on for someone, the one person who is everything to me, for a future together. We made this promise to each other, and while there is still a glimmer of hope for us, and if I can survive until then, I am here.

 

[GhostInTheMachine]

My only internal factor is my immense fear of death. Externally, I still love my family, my friends, my hobbies and interests, etc. There's so much in the world I want to do but I can't motivate myself to go out and do it. Doesn't help when life puts me down on top of that.

 

[ForeverCaHa]

Other:
I have a very specific date in mind for sentimental reasons.

 

[WhatCouldHaveBeen32]

I want to play some Games for now

 

[Forever Sleep]

Family and work obligations. Once they're gone though, fear may well hold me back.