I would as well. I've certainly always wished for non-existence, I could never see existing here as being something desirable and I always view it as being preferable to not exist regardless of the circumstances. I don't understand what's supposedly so appealing or beneficial about existing that makes other people wish to endure this futile process of just waiting around to die and to me being conscious and aware just leads to suffering, it's something completely useless and unnecessary anyway. I see non-existence as being the ideal state which existence tragically disturbed, all that's ideal to me is being completely unaware for all eternity with everything finally forgotten about.