Venting I’d always see a peaceful death as preferable to being tormented by old age

[FuneralCry]

No matter what I'd always see it as better to not exist as existence is harmful, evil, cruel and filled with endless potential for suffering. I don't understand how anyone could wish to suffer in this process of slowly dying just destined for nothing but to be tormented by old age, the fact that a human can exist for long is incredibly disturbing to me, I'd always prefer the peace of non-existence over having the ability to suffer.

In fact existence itself is the true problem and it'll always be futile and undesirable to exist no matter what. Humans are such a disgusting species with how they procreate and wish to deny others the option of a painless death, it's so horrible how I cannot just choose to sleep eternally even know death solves everything and brings peace from the burden that is existence.

In my case suicide certainly is very rational to escape from and prevent all future unnecessary suffering, in fact the thought of not existing for all eternity comforts me, I see suicide as the way to find safety from suffering. Existence truly is just nothing more than an endless cycle of cruelty, torment and pain that so tragically repeats once new life is forced here, existence just creates problems and suffering there was never a need for. I only see non-existence as being ideal as one cannot suffer from the absence of everything, instead all is forgotten about.

 

[piryohae3]

Agreed, even if I didn't kill myself now I probably would when I'm old. There's no guarantee that you'll pass on peacefully in your sleep. Chances are you'll get struck by something awful like cancer, alzheimer's, or dementia. If I'm old and sick with something terminal, what's the point of trying to get better? I'd only be alive for a little longer and the recovery process is going to be shitty.

I read a story a long time ago about someone's grandma who used to be happy and full of life then got diagnosed with something terminal (don't remember what). She was in and out of the hospital and in constant agony for the next several years and died withered, angry and bitter. I sure as hell don't want to wait that long to die. If I get a terminal diagnosis, I'm taking control of my life right away by ending it.

 

[mortuarymary]

That's the worry. The older you get the less you can make decisions as they are being made for you. I don't want to end up in a home. Just shoot me. I see miserable old people about and I pity them.

 

[TAW122]

This is spot on and I share the same sentiments too, I have no interest in becoming old and then becoming dependent on others for even basic things. Even assuming that one has access to the best care with the best team, best resources, the loss of ultimate bodily autonomy, loss of being able to pursue dreams and activities that were once attainable when one is younger and in better physical and psychological health, is just unacceptable. Indeed, it would be better to end things before they become intolerable and then at the mercy of others.

 

[Lostman1029]

When I was in my teens and 20s I always thought I'd be dead at 30 whether by natural causes or CTB. Now that I'm 38, struggle with deciding when I should CTB. I seem to really be drawn to the round numbers: 40, 50, 60.

I certainly can't imagine living until 60 given the way the world is today.