I would have rather...

[S like suicide]

Assuming that all diseases are painful and I don't want to play which one is more painful. I must say that I often do this bad thought surely would have rather have a very bad cancer than Depression.Cancer is a terrifying monstrous beast. But the fact is that it can kill you or it can make you suffer for a few years and then you "heal" and return to your life. Meanwhile the people around you, professionals and family understand you, are more tolerant, they feel sorry for you, they help you and if you die they say you were a warrior ...Depression, on the other hand, takes away your "life" inside you, it never abandons you and its purpose is to lead you to commit suicide. There is no way to fight it, once it has chosen you, you are screwed. Then there are many levels of depression.I have been fighting for more than 7 years, it took my soul,and everything beautiful i had.now only the body remains.But I have to be honest. More than depression itself, which I do not wish even for my worst enemy,the greatest pain was given to me by the people around me, Doctors, family, psychologists. Everyone I asked for help.Apparently depression and other mental disease are not considered true disease. They are mostly things that are connected to weak people, unable to live, failed, with little willpower, losers, unable to socialize, too sensitive.This is what doctors, nurses, psychiatrists, psychologists and even my family have told me. That I am a fragile person. And they also call people "like me" fragile.this has left me so much anger, bitterness and in the solitutide and total lack of hope.even if it's bad to say sometimes I would like them to feel what I feel every day. Maybe only then they could understand. So I would have preferred a bad cancer,at least there would have been some understanding.Instead I'm sure that even when dead, they will throw a lot of mud on my corpse, they will say that I was a coward ecc....No rispect for this pain.
Sorry for bad english

 

[FuneralCry]

I know what you mean. Our minds do like to torture us, there is no break from it and there is a constant feeling of dread in my mind. I think with mental illness, people do not understand it as they just haven't been there themselves. People think that positive thinking can fix everything and blame the person for not trying, which is harmful and invalidates the suffering they are going through. There really is a lack of understanding.

 

[S like suicide]

I know what you mean. Our minds do like to torture us, there is no break from it and there is a constant feeling of dread in my mind. I think with mental illness, people do not understand it as they just haven't been there themselves. People think that positive thinking can fix everything and blame the person for not trying, which is harmful and invalidates the suffering they are going through. There really is a lack of understanding.

It's just the way professionals approach suffering patients like me that schocked me.I mean if they can't help me and it's their job ... no one else will