ctemourge
and by the time ur hearing this ill already b gone
- Aug 14, 2023
- 90
i think being suicidal and alone is worse than being suicidal and not alone even if its just from an online fourm. i have struggled with suicidal tendencies/acts for as long as i can remember, and a part of that has been being alone that entire time. now i am still suicidal but passively, and i think if i didnt have this account i would be extremely lost. i think passive suicidality is extreme enough as it is , but to have access to a website that offers me comfort and sometimes even really good advice even if its not about ctb.. i have had great advice given to me to help me heal. healthy advice on how to cope. not everything on this website is about ctb . i mean hell we have a whole recovery side!! i hope to one day make it there. and even if i dont i know i wont be alone. theres people who see me and hear me. i hate that you all can relate to pain and suffering, but to know that im not alone makes it a little less intense . thats selfish of me but i cant lie . i unfortunately know my demise will end in a ctb , and to be honest i am okay with that. i am at peace with it even. but to be able to live day to day or at least try to, and have a place to go is so comforting. again, i hate that many relate to the pain and suffering that life can bring. im high and rambling hopefully this makes sense and doesnt come off harsh, i just am thankful for this community
