I wonder if a cat would help but I don't think I can handle the responsibility

[Tegan_sky]

A question to ask, who here has cats/dogs? I have had multiple cats when I was in my 20's. They were able to go inside and outside, so they were happy. I really think cats are happiest when they can go out. I live in a third floor apartment in a locked building. If a cat got off my balcony, which I think they would even with me on the third floor, they would not be able to get back to me since this is a three story, 40 unit, locked building. I'm in a one room studio. I don't think a cat would want to be cooped up inside this studio apartment 24/7.

But most of all, yes, I had cats when I was in my 20's. Now I am 62 and I really don't know if a cat would be a help or a nuisance. I tried having cats in 2016 and 2017, and ended up giving both of them back to where I got them. They were both adopted afterwards. My former shrink told me a couple of times, "with your mental disabilities, it takes everything you have, to care for yourself." I told him prior to his saying this, how I just couldn't handle being completely responsible for a living being.

Severe loneliness eats away at me so horribly sometimes. And I go thinking I "should" get a pet, because others say their pets are their best friends. But for me, I just don't know if I can handle it. I've tried twice since 2016, I don't want to try and fail again.

 

[StevieNixs]

I bought a kitten after the first lockdown in my country.
She is now one year old. If you do buy a cat don't buy a tortoiseshell coloured cat. They are not a breed just a colour but I did not believe it when people said they had particular traits associated with their colour (and interesting fact over 99.6% of tortoishell cars are female - and males born are usually sterile!). Mine really does conform to these traits and my vet confirmed why she was kind of different to other cats I see about.
When I'm feeling really down, it can be a little difficult to navigate with a cat especially if you choose to make the cat an indoor cat. Mine was indoor but she would follow me everywhere and when I'm not at home she would sit by the window waiting for me which left me feeling guilty. About one month ago, I removed the garden enclosure so she could go where she wanted to.
My advice for what it is worth:
If you get a cat:
- Get them microchipped, vaccinated, de-flead, wormed, etc
- BUY TWO so they can play with each other. I should have done this.
- Look for breeds or types of cat who are more independent.
- If you are going to make them an outdoor cat buy a catflap called Sureflap which has an app where you can open and closed the flap remotely and monitor their time outside.
I let her come and go now but she never goes far. I then lock it at 9-10pm once she comes in at night time is the time cats are most likely to get injured by cars.
Cats are loving though.

 

[stygal]

Why not try and see whether you could be kind of a pet sitter or dog walker or go to a local shelter to volunteer?

That way you don't have "full responsibility" and the pet wouldn't have to make due with an environment potentially not equipped to keep it satisfied.

 

[FuneralCry]

I have a cat, and pets do help loneliness, I see pets as being one of the only good things about life. I understand why you would be doubtful in your situation, as it is important that cats can go outside. I wish you the best.

 

[OrcWitch]

I sometimes feel like my cat is the only thing that keeps me from suicide on some days, due to the responsibility. She is 17 years old and incredibly clingy, she does not like any humans except for me. When I brought someone over she was incredibly distrustful and upset about it. When I have been away for a day or two, she acts heartbroken when I return and won't leave my lap. I want to make the last years of her life as pleasant as possible and not have her spend her final days alone, afraid, confused and abandoned in a shelter with people she doesn't know. I do not like to admit but there are days I felt myself wishing she would hurry up and die of old age so I can die, but I am happy she is here and in good health.

As someone else said, maybe you could do volunteer work to get physical contact with animals but without the responsibility of caring for one. Though all a cat requires is food, water, some toys and affection, and a clean litterbox, maybe some brushings if they're a long haired cat. They're very low maintenance so even a chronically mentally unwell person should be able to manage it.

 

[Fakereality]

Cats are one of the best stress killers I say they are fully worth the trouble.

 

[cactus]

I want a cat but I know that it would be very difficult for me to take care of it. I compromised and bought a small fish tank. It can sometimes be soothing to watch them swim. It's not the same as having something to snuggle with but it does help me survive.

 

[ClownMe]

I want to make the last years of her life as pleasant as possible and not have her spend her final days alone, afraid, confused and abandoned in a shelter with people she doesn't know. I do not like to admit but there are days I felt myself wishing she would hurry up and die of old age so I can die, but I am happy she is here and in good health.

I feel this. The only reason I haven't ctb yet is because im living for my 13 year old dog, he loves me so much and the sad part is it isn't enough to make me even remotely happy. I too, selfishly, wish he would hurry up and pass away because he is declining in health and I want to be set free.

 

[minamin]

Cats are the best!! As a cat lover, I would fully recommend getting one from your local shelter. Always adopt, never buy. I don't see them as animals you constantly have to worry about, if you remember to feed them and clean them every once in a while and clean out the litter box every day you've got 90% of it down.

Why not try and see whether you could be kind of a pet sitter or dog walker or go to a local shelter to volunteer?

That way you don't have "full responsibility" and the pet wouldn't have to make due with an environment potentially not equipped to keep it satisfied.

When I wasn't able to have a cat at home for a long while, I actually volunteered at a local shelter to get my "cat fix", taking care of and socializing with the cats there. It's definitely a good way to test to see if you can handle the commitment if you're unsure about it (though as a volunteer you probably wont only just be working with the cats, I got lucky).

This is a personal thing, but if you decide to get a cat, a lot of shelters have older cats that go unadopted solely due to their age (people infinitely prefer kittens or <1 year old cats, those would be adopted all the time while anyone 8+ years weren't). I would really try to convince people to take them home because they deserve a happy home in their last years, and they're the sweetest things! Your local shelter may offer some kind of healthcare offer for the cat if you decide to take an older one, so I would really recommend looking into it. For me taking care of older cats made me really happy.

 

[Makko]

Any truth to this?

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

We had cats, all of them were executed. With N, I'm assuming. I am jealous af, tbh.

 

[whywere]

Be it cats or dogs or whatever type of pet, they are just the best as far as lowering one's blood pressure, anxiety and a host of other things. I had a stray dog that I nursed back to health when I was growing up, my only true friend and I miss him to this day and that is over 50 years ago.

The one aspect of a pet is that they are basically like a human baby as far as 24/7 care, BUT usually the love that is returned is well worth the investment in money and time.

I really liked @stygal 's post as far as what she mentioned, GREAT ideas!! One could see AND feel if it is a proper fit for both human and pet.

Please take care of yourself, as you are a integral part of SS and also me!

Have a wonderful day and week!

Walter

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Cats can live 18 years. I think they do better in pairs. Perhaps a rabbit or two. I heard they can learn to use the litter box. Personally if I wanted to off myself I wouldn't get a cat or a dog- they live too long.

Perhaps an older cat at a shelter would be nice to get.

 

[BeautifulMosaics]

A question to ask, who here has cats/dogs? I have had multiple cats when I was in my 20's. They were able to go inside and outside, so they were happy. I really think cats are happiest when they can go out. I live in a third floor apartment in a locked building. If a cat got off my balcony, which I think they would even with me on the third floor, they would not be able to get back to me since this is a three story, 40 unit, locked building. I'm in a one room studio. I don't think a cat would want to be cooped up inside this studio apartment 24/7.

But most of all, yes, I had cats when I was in my 20's. Now I am 62 and I really don't know if a cat would be a help or a nuisance. I tried having cats in 2016 and 2017, and ended up giving both of them back to where I got them. They were both adopted afterwards. My former shrink told me a couple of times, "with your mental disabilities, it takes everything you have, to care for yourself." I told him prior to his saying this, how I just couldn't handle being completely responsible for a living being.

Severe loneliness eats away at me so horribly sometimes. And I go thinking I "should" get a pet, because others say their pets are their best friends. But for me, I just don't know if I can handle it. I've tried twice since 2016, I don't want to try and fail again.

Don't know if this will bring a bit of lighthearted energy or irritation but I just have to share: I've read this title like 5 times and every time I read the beginning I think you're asking if a cat will practically help you ctb They certainly have the reputation for it

What about temporary fostering? Cat sitting? Animals are definitely amazing, a beautiful cat strolled into my life unexpectantly a year and a half ago and even though she died a year later, she was honestly one of the closest living beings to me who made a difference in my life.

I feel this. The only reason I haven't ctb yet is because im living for my 13 year old dog, he loves me so much and the sad part is it isn't enough to make me even remotely happy. I too, selfishly, wish he would hurry up and pass away because he is declining in health and I want to be set free.

That's a tough but very human/honest thing the admit.

 

[Panna]

@Phia2021 reminds me of Oscar the cat who lived in the nursing home with a tendency to sit on the laps of people who were soon to die

 

[Bootleg Astolfo]

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

Apply to be a foster cat person. Foster two unfortunate cats from a shelter. It will be something good to do and they will be grateful. Less commitment.

 

[seeking2learn]

A cat can become one of your best friends, always there when you need life contact. However cats do not live that long. I just put down my best friend this past weekend, only 5 years old. Consumed a plant that was poisonous to cats. Put to rest at the Emerg Vet Hospital....I was too late. This is not good for depressed/suicidal individuals, not good at all. On the flip side, if you own a cat and CTB, about a week later, the cat will not even know you existed.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

A cat can become one of your best friends, always there when you need life contact. However cats do not live that long. I just put down my best friend this past weekend, only 5 years old. Consumed a plant that was poisonous to cats. Put to rest at the Emerg Vet Hospital....I was too late. This is not good for depressed/suicidal individuals, not good at all. On the flip side, if you own a cat and CTB, about a week later, the cat will not even know you existed.

I think cats do remember their owners just like dogs. Them forced to a shelter or perhaps not good home would also really suck for them. Sorry about your cat. Cats in general can live over 15 years and to a suicidal person this is a really long time.

 

[Quiet Desperation]

Apply to be a foster cat person. Foster two unfortunate cats from a shelter. It will be something good to do and they will be grateful. Less commitment.

Seconded. I'm in a similar mindset to the OP, so I registered with my local shelter and foster kittens for them. The commitment is generally only 4-6 weeks (varies by shelter but for mine they're ready to be fixed + adopted at 8 weeks). You can get your cat fix and save lives at the same time.

Responsible shelters will require you to keep them indoors at all times and will home at least 2 with you at a time. If you're lucky they might even supply you with everything you need for free. The youngest ones require a lot of attention and care but you can ask for weaned kittens that are already pretty independent and just need play, affection, and to be fed frequently. You can sometimes request older medical fosters instead if you're not about the high energy cute factor.

I think cats do remember their owners just like dogs. Them forced to a shelter or perhaps not good home would also really suck for them. Sorry about your cat. Cats in general can live over 15 years and to a suicidal person this is a really long time.

My parents have a cat that is extremely shy around strangers and will hide under the bed anytime someone comes over. He comes right out to be petted every time I visit, even years apart. People tend to underestimate animals.

 

[Blackpoolbootz]

On the flip side, if you own a cat and CTB, about a week later, the cat will not even know you existed.

Thats just gave me a good laugh. What I needed tonight :-)

 

[AnonymousS]

I have a cat, and pets do help loneliness, I see pets as being one of the only good things about life. I understand why you would be doubtful in your situation, as it is important that cats can go outside. I wish you the best.

I find animals extremely therapeutic, you do have to be mindful of the responsibility though.

 

[ratpudding]

I would love to have a dog, or rats. I don't have the space or money for either right now. I love cats too but my boyfriend is allergic so they aren't an option for me either.

 

[OrcWitch]

I would love to have a dog, or rats. I don't have the space or money for either right now. I love cats too but my boyfriend is allergic so they aren't an option for me either.

I love rats but can't have any so long as I have my cat. I would like to keep a pair some day. They're a great pet for a suicidal or depressed person.

 

[ratpudding]

I love rats but can't have any so long as I have my cat. I would like to keep a pair some day. They're a great pet for a suicidal or depressed person.

I've never owned any myself but I love them so much. I have a friend who has had rats so I'm more comfortable knowing someone with firsthand experience. I'm confident in having a dog or cat but anything beyond that I'm to anxious because I don't know what online is misinformation so, I think rats would be nice, especially if I end up moving somewhere without a ton of space for a dog.

 

[AnonymousS]

I would love to have a dog, or rats. I don't have the space or money for either right now. I love cats too but my boyfriend is allergic so they aren't an option for me either.

Yes it's similar to me, i am in a dump of a tiny bedsit. It would not be fair to them, plus i don't even know if i will be here much longer. I would prefer for things to get better, i love photography as a hobby. However things have been unstable and stressful for years.

 

[seeking2learn]

I used to have 4 pet Roosters named Scruffy, Chico, Gino and Charlie. I live in an apartment building and kept them on the balcony. I had them for over a year, but after several complaints from neighbours about the noise, I had to get rid of the little rascals. I wasn't really an early riser per say, but these little buggers would have me up at the crack of dawn.

 

[Disappointered]

The advice about volunteering at a shelter needs to be addressed. It's a good idea. The problem is that many shelters have a waiting list...just to volunteer. Not to apply for a job, to apply to be a volunteer. I applied to three places a few years ago and only two got back to me. One was to say, with a relief on their part I assume, that they were too far from my address to consider me. Another said they had no spaces available but to let them know if I knew of anyone with a cognitive handicap. I'm not making this up. I don't remember the exact words for the cognitive thing but it was something like that. It's the same story with most volunteering in the shit country I live in.

As for getting a cat it's going to help recover, definitely. But if you can't look after them it's obviously not fair. A stuffy's not the same but at least after you catch the bus they won't be in a bad spot.