I wish to ctb in the hands of a loved one

[water bunny]

I don't want to hurt my partner, and neither does he approve of my suicidal tendencies. However i have a desire to be tenderly held in the final moments of my life. It's a comforting thought although extremely unrealistic. I sometimes fantasise about my body being found by my partner. It feels selfish because i am aware it will traumatise him.

Is this thought normal or shared?

 

[Some place nice]

I think its a normal thought. I do it too so don't worry.

 

[hi-okbye]

i get how you feel :(
ever since my best friend/partner died a bit ago all i want is that after i ctb, i wake up in his arms again. it's normal to want to be around the people you love. i understand how it feels to want that. if you are going to ctb, spend a lot of time with him since you guys seem to be close. it's completely normal to feel like that. good luck <3

 

[snowcloud9]

I do too. I'm planning to call one of my dearest friends if I ever do decide to die. Hearing his voice before I fall unconscious would be a good way.

 

[water bunny]

@hi-okbye that's a good suggestion! I'll keep it in mind! I really hope you reunite with your partner after death. I can't imagine the pain of losing a loved one. I'm glad i'm not alone in this

Thank you for your comment!

 

[Liminal1]

Its normal to want to be with those you love. Mine has left unfortunately, and I daydream about her coming back to find me and holding me one last time. Not that I want to traumatize her, Just want to believe she still cares

 

[water bunny]

@snowcloud9 i'm curious, on the call will you be telling your friend that you are about to ctb? Or will you talk about normal things?

 

[snowcloud9]

@snowcloud9 i'm curious, on the call will you be telling your friend that you are about to ctb? Or will you talk about normal things?

I would talk about normal things. I don't want anyone to stop me after all. It would just be calming to hear my favorite person's voice.

 

[FalsePleasure]

This is just wrong. You don't do that. If you have a partner or even a good close friend that cares about you then you have more than most people here have. You don't fuckup somebody else's mind and life because you want to watch them hurt from pain you are causing them...

I lost a long time (15+yrs)very close friend. I knew she was hurting and having problems..she showed up at my door unexpected one day, the next day she called, we spoke, i said id call her back or to call me back when she was finished..a few hours later she shot herself. Not a day goes by that i havent blamed myself or thought I could have prevented this.


God I hate people.

 

[hi-okbye]

This is just wrong. You don't do that. If you have a partner or even a good close friend that cares about you then you have more than most people here have. You don't fuckup somebody else's mind and life because you want to watch them hurt from pain you are causing them...

I lost a long time (15+yrs)very close friend. I knew she was hurting and having problems..she showed up at my door unexpected one day, the next day she called, we spoke, i said id call her back or to call me back when she was finished..a few hours later she shot herself. Not a day goes by that i havent blamed myself or thought I could have prevented this.


God I hate people.

they're not saying they're actually going to do this. they're just expressing their wishes and feelings. love is a very strong emotion, wanting to die surrounded by your loved ones is a common thing. consider all the people in the hospital, in hospice, in a nursing home. they usually (not always but sometimes if able to) die with loved ones by their side, holding their hands, etc. so it's not wrong or weird to want to die next to loved ones. it's a very common thing. this person is talking about venerable feelings in probably the only space they can freely share them. several times they stated this is probably not going to happen, so coming in with a toxic and rude attitude is unprecedented. they already feel bad enough no need to make them feel worse.

also. i would like to say i'm so sorry for your loss. i can't imagine how horrible it feels and i get what it feels like to wish you could do something more. it'll be tough but i hope someday you find some peace with yourself, and find some closure.

 

[FalsePleasure]

they're not saying they're actually going to do this. they're just expressing their wishes and feelings. love is a very strong emotion, wanting to die surrounded by your loved ones is a common thing. consider all the people in the hospital, in hospice, in a nursing home. they usually (not always but sometimes if able to) die with loved ones by their side, holding their hands, etc. so it's not wrong or weird to want to die next to loved ones. it's a very common thing. this person is talking about venerable feelings in probably the only space they can freely share them. several times they stated this is probably not going to happen, so coming in with a toxic and rude attitude is unprecedented. they already feel bad enough no need to make them feel worse.

also. i would like to say i'm so sorry for your loss. i can't imagine how horrible it feels and i get what it feels like to wish you could do something more. it'll be tough but i hope someday you find some peace with yourself, and find some closure.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to die around loved ones. That's not the same as causing your death and dying in the arms of a person who obviously loves you. My comment was not aimed at the op directly but as a general comment and response to other comments. How am I being toxic by saying to not fuk up the mental health of others because you want a little bit of comfort? How about the comfort of the person your seeking comfort from? I wonder just how many people here have seen the effects of a loved one discovering another loved ones body hanging from a rope or with half there head blown off? I've seen the effects that causes another person. I've watched the effects of that destroy that person, ruin what little bit of a chance they had in life and how it completely changed for the worst the rest of this person's life.
Sorry if the raw truth and my beliefs from my experiences in life come off as toxic. If you want to end your life, that's your choice but don't cause others extra undue problems. Just because they can't understand your choice don't think for a second it don't effect others.

 

[hi-okbye]

There is nothing wrong with wanting to die around loved ones. That's not the same as causing your death and dying in the arms of a person who obviously loves you. My comment was not aimed at the op directly but as a general comment and response to other comments. How am I being toxic by saying to not fuk up the mental health of others because you want a little bit of comfort? How about the comfort of the person your seeking comfort from? I wonder just how many people here have seen the effects of a loved one discovering another loved ones body hanging from a rope or with half there head blown off? I've seen the effects that causes another person. I've watched the effects of that destroy that person, ruin what little bit of a chance they had in life and how it completely changed for the worst the rest of this person's life.
Sorry if the raw truth and my beliefs from my experiences in life come off as toxic. If you want to end your life, that's your choice but don't cause others extra undue problems. Just because they can't understand your choice don't think for a second it don't effect others.

i get your point. that's not what i fond toxic, it was just the tone, and some unnecessary comments here and there. every comment i have seen here has clearly stated that they know the effects of doing that to the ones they care about. none of us here are saying we're going to physically force our loved ones to witness our death. it's just a personal wish. people wish they could have all types of things. does that mean they're gonna actually get them? no. does it mean they're actually going to peruse getting them? depends but probably no. people are allowed to have dreams, wishes, fantasies, without actually acting on them.