I wish my mom wont feel the pain when im gone

[seabed_adan]

. I dont want to hurt her. I know its going to crush her. I don't want her to feel the pain. I wish I was never born so she won't have to feel bad

 

[Teleftaía Anapnoí]

I understand your pain. But unfortunately your mother will feel it. I wish you luck and discernment to choose the best for you going forward.

 

[ChantDuCygne]

You can always leave a message for her. You can write a pretty letter to tell her how you didn't want to hurt her, but you were in pain (people often forget about how the ones who commit suicide had feelings when they did). You can tell her that you're grateful for all she's done (if you are, Idk). She will be hurt, but at least she will know you were concerned about her.

 

[Wisdom3_1-9]

I worry about this, too. I'm the only child of a single mother. She's devoted so much of her life to me. My suicide will devastate her.

The only consolation, I think, is that she is very aware of my struggles. While she will be terribly sad, she will not be shocked. She may even, with time, come to understand it as an act of mercy. Of course, I can't know that for sure, but it's a possibility.

Have you shared how you're feeling with her?

 

[toofargone6969]

Me too :( it will ruin my mother. It would be easier if nobody loved me.

 

[guinea-pig]

Me too. I saw how when my brother was missing it effected her. She couldn't function and I'm going to do that again all over in a different way. It sucks that there is no way out without hurting the people we care about.

 

[SorrowfulDrugUser]

Honestly it's the only reason I haven't clocked my brains against a wall with a 12 Gauge yet. Admittedly, I probably wouldn't go out with that method but it's oddly something I fantasize about often. (my dream choice would preferably be some rails of pure, uncut Fentanyl) See, a few years back at a family get-together I had a conversation with my mother whilst she was extremely inebriated/intoxicated. Admittedly, you could say the conversation got a bit "deep'. Finally it got to a point where we were talking about people who I grew up with that had ultimately made the choice to end their life. Mid-way through my mom told me some shit I'll never forget/will carry as baggage forever. She told me that if I ever were to end my own life that she too would end her own life. That crushed me. See, when I originally fantasized about committing suicide I didn't worry about it. I mean after all who else is this effecting besides myself? It's not like I'm hurting anyone in the process? Well, now if I were to end my own life I'd be essentially be dragging my mother along with me which honestly makes me feel fucking terrible. I guess the one positive is that it's essentially a reason to force myself to stay alive even during the times where I have no other reason. As to why I mention all of this? Idk, OP's post just reminded me of this.

 

[FuneralCry]

It really would prevent so much suffering if people didn't force life here, I find it so tragic how anyone has to suffer so unnecessarily at all and suffering certainly is inevitable as long as one exists. I personally never wish I existed more than anything.

 

[ctvunny]

This is what really holds me back from ctb. My mom is very emotional and so is my dad, both are in their seniors years and I cant bear it if my exit would cause harm on them.