Venting I wish it was easier to talk about suicide (irl and online

[leopard_gec]

Everytime I do people always assume so much and try to squeeze me in a box. I just had a conversation with someone online, who claimed that I must be insecure, I guess thats a general assumption that people have of depressed people but I'm am definitely not insecure or have a bad self image of myself. I tried to explain this and they then claim I'm being defensive... Then they say that im victimizing myself??? I was having a neutral conversation about why I do not want to live no emotions attached. They went through my post history to prove it. Of course some of my vent posts are going to make me seem miserable, that's what venting is for...
They also convienently ignore my posts about how I don't relate that much to most depressed people, where I talk about things like self esteem and more.

I guess it's just easier to make me come across an insecure victimizing person and then claim I'm being defensive when I try to explain myself

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Was that conversation with someone here on SS? If not, why not try starting a thread here about whatever topic you want to discuss and see if it's easier talking with us.

 

[leopard_gec]

I just googled what defensive means (because I was wondering how defending yourself is supposed to be bad)
And turns out that being defensive is a defense mecanism used to ignore your own feelings and feelings of shame that you get from other people. Which is exactly the opposite of what I'm doing?? I think the person ment argumentative? Which still doesn't make my arguments invalid

Was that conversation with someone here on SS? If not, why not try starting a thread here about whatever topic you want to discuss and see if it's easier talking with us.

It wasn't on here, I would like to start a conversation about something like that (I don't have any idea of what right now) but the conversation itself started with the person seeing my post and trying to help me by asking basic stuff trying to relate to me/understand my stand point. it ended with them basically telling me that like is hard and to just deal with it. Great that's how it always seems to end with those people, just suffer.

 

[SeeminglyFine]

I guess he meant defensive as in feeling compelled to disregard what he said by bringing forth an explanation that contradicts theirs, thereby defending your mind from emotional pain by supressing the emotions that come up as a consequence of gaining an awareness of your thoughts, emotions and ego, triggered by his "shared insight" in this case, the idea that you are victimizing yourself/using a defense mechanism.

Not saying what is and isnt the case with you, simply assuming what he was thinking

 

[leopard_gec]

I guess he meant defensive as in feeling compelled to disregard what he said by bringing forth an explanation that contradicts theirs, thereby defending your mind from emotional pain by supressing the emotions that come up as a consequence of gaining an awareness of your thoughts, emotions and ego, triggered by his "shared insight" in this case, the idea that you are victimizing yourself/using a defense mechanism.

Not saying what is and isnt the case with you, simply assuming what he was thinking

Thanks that's makes more sense (I struggle with a lot of social stuff) I still wasn't being defensive though as I was asking them why they though so, and then when they explained it I argued that there reasoning didn't make sense (like the victimizing myself thing) either way it doesn't matter, I gave up talking to them

 

[Kurushii]

I think it comes down to people not understanding how we feel and not wanting to be wrong in an argument. I'm sorry they didn't understand your viewpoint. I suppose some people just don't want to understand, they want to be right.

 

[blackroseRM]

I think part of it might come down to folks genuinely not understanding or being able to fathom someone being suicidal in a neutral way, or being suicidal and being willing to talk about it in a neutral way. Aside from this forum I know I wouldn't make any real attempt to talk about my suicidal thoughts because something similar would happen, or the usual involuntary commission and other expected reactions would occur. It's possible people online might even think to themselves, "this person isn't really suicidal, they just want attention!" or other such nonsense, which... Even if you did just want attention, it wouldn't be a bad thing. Being in distress or crisis and wanting attention as a result is not a vice.

 

[SamTam33]

I was just thinking how society still sees sex as taboo and censors a lot of discussion surrounding it.

Sex is how we all got here. But talking about it makes people uncomfortable.

Same thing with death.

Dying is guaranteed to happen to all of us, so why avoid the discussion? Suicide is just one of the 1,164 ways we could die.

Sex and death. It's where we came from and it's where we're going.

With all of our supposed intelligence and self-proclaimed "advanced" brain power - we still can't find a way to naturally discuss those topics.

It'll never make sense why humans think so highly of themselves when they can't even perfect the small stuff. Like talking about things that happen...

 

[FuneralCry]

It's just not worth it trying to have a conversation about this subject, it will certainly just make things worse and lead to us having our feelings being invalidated. Other people can never understand as they cannot see life the same way as us after all, whatever they think is insignificant.