Venting I wish it was different

[clicmsf]

I wish i was born different. Although it sounds childish, but I can't live with jealousy. I live and study/work in an environment full of everyone living the life i have always desired and knowing I'm never going to experience life remotely close to what i actually like to. My standards of living are extremely low, yet i can't have the smallest things in my life. Last month was my birthday, and the only interaction i had that day was asking the price of my birthday cake and candles. I know happiness exists, because i see others around me experience it with my own eyes. I wish i could be happy too.

 

[BBBB]

I'm so sorry. I wish you and all of us could be happy :-(

 

[jessisme]

I know what you mean by being born different and feeling on the outside of things. I have a very hard time interacting with people. When everyone is gathered around talking and visiting with each other I just hide in a back room. It's better that than to stand there awkwardly not knowing what to say. I also have a severe mental illness that has wreaked havoc on my life in the past that I am just now getting a handle on and coming to terms with but it's already too late for me. I also have a hard time acquiring new skills so I really don't have anything to offer the job market. My life overall has become a total bust. I feel so alone with everything in my situation. I'm so glad that I have people I can connect with and relate to on here. This site is invaluable to me.

 

[BBBB]

"This site is invaluable to me"
DITTO!!!!

 

[BBBB]

Thanks for reaching out and sharing. We're all here to listen and support each other. It's a horrific nightmare that I wish we could all escape from.

 

[FuneralCry]

The unfortunate truth is that there is simply nothing fair about any of this, life is such a terrible concept after all where everything in this world is determined by luck and chance with some people suffering way more than others all through no fault of their own. It's simply just the way that life is.

Your frustrations are understandable, but anyway some of those people could be pretending to be all positive in front of others, we don't know how much people really suffer as many keep their true feelings to themselves, and something could easily happen to make the existences of those people much more unbearable, as in this life there is no limit as to how much we can be tortured. This is a reason as to why I only consider those who die to be the true fortunate ones, and anyway all that people are destined for if they stay here long enough is to get old and deteriorate and to me this is something horrifying.

 

[Rational man]

Though in reality, people, quote ' living the life ' are actually struggling with the daily grind , filled with insecurities, resentment and pain. People only tell what they.want, so.as.to feed their egos. Yes there is contentment but most contentment ive seen is in people who have little and expect less. However, im sorry that.you're suffering.