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hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
189
I'm really not built for being alive. I just can't accept this. Like being alive is just tolerating terrible shit till you die.

Like I'm gonna sound like an edgy teen but i literally missed an assignment cause i didn't feel like doing it and yet my brain is going haywire telling me ti just die cause i can't write an essay but like literally i do not believe God put me on this plannet to wriye fucking essays and get a job and work and die.

Like even the whole art thing. Im not saying oh i should be drawing not writing essays, its more like i shouldn't be feeling like shit because I'm not productive or not forcing myself to do things i dislike.


Cause even as an artist, if im not popular im fucked cause bills will exist and ill have to worry about other humans if i wanna fuck off and just live off the land. Im not scared of being mauled by an animal in the woods, but im scared kf being attacked by ankther human cause they made the choice to hurt me.


So it's like i wanna die cause im just tired of everything. Tired of school. Tired of thinking about how i need tk get a job to survive. How i need to practice to make better arc. I don't want to do anything. Im tired and burnt out.

My home country is going to shit. My current country is going to shit. My school is doing jack shit to help me graduate on time.


Beinf around my family just makes me upset because all i want to do is just complain sometimes but they always have something to say. Like i just want to be mad in peace. I don't want to leave the house but they make me and get upset when im not having fun. I just want to be indoors is that a crime?!?!?! If i say no they throw a fit. No kne respects me when im doing homework. They just get upset cause im always doing homework like i want to be stuck staring at my fucking canvas page all day.


And despite all this. Ill probably never pull the fucking trigger and blast my head open because im scared of going to hell.

Im just so mad at myself. I can't suck it up and force myself to just tolerate this shit existence but i also won't just kill myself and end it. Im just so angry.
 
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ma0

ma0

How did I get here?
Dec 20, 2024
22
I'm really not built for being alive. I just can't accept this. Like being alive is just tolerating terrible shit till you die.

Like I'm gonna sound like an edgy teen but i literally missed an assignment cause i didn't feel like doing it and yet my brain is going haywire telling me ti just die cause i can't write an essay but like literally i do not believe God put me on this plannet to wriye fucking essays and get a job and work and die.

Like even the whole art thing. Im not saying oh i should be drawing not writing essays, its more like i shouldn't be feeling like shit because I'm not productive or not forcing myself to do things i dislike.


Cause even as an artist, if im not popular im fucked cause bills will exist and ill have to worry about other humans if i wanna fuck off and just live off the land. Im not scared of being mauled by an animal in the woods, but im scared kf being attacked by ankther human cause they made the choice to hurt me.


So it's like i wanna die cause im just tired of everything. Tired of school. Tired of thinking about how i need tk get a job to survive. How i need to practice to make better arc. I don't want to do anything. Im tired and burnt out.

My home country is going to shit. My current country is going to shit. My school is doing jack shit to help me graduate on time.


Beinf around my family just makes me upset because all i want to do is just complain sometimes but they always have something to say. Like i just want to be mad in peace. I don't want to leave the house but they make me and get upset when im not having fun. I just want to be indoors is that a crime?!?!?! If i say no they throw a fit. No kne respects me when im doing homework. They just get upset cause im always doing homework like i want to be stuck staring at my fucking canvas page all day.


And despite all this. Ill probably never pull the fucking trigger and blast my head open because im scared of going to hell.

Im just so mad at myself. I can't suck it up and force myself to just tolerate this shit existence but i also won't just kill myself and end it. Im just so angry.
If you wanna be an atheist, be an atheist. Tell yourself "God isn't real, heaven and hell are bullshit, and when we die, there's no magical afterlife and we just rot in blissful nothing." That's the best advice I can give. Hope you find the peace you're looking for.
 
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RoyalBengalAutistic

RoyalBengalAutistic

Member
Oct 14, 2024
23
I am totally in the opposite position. I wish I were theist. At least I would have some false hope to cling on.
 
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ewlife

ewlife

:(
Oct 4, 2023
59
As an atheist I take a lot of comfort in the idea that existence is meaningless. I can only imagine what it's like to be suicidal but also believe that you will continue to exist and burn in hell for eternity if you kill yourself. It sounds like a lot of additional pressure, to put it lightly.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,318
Out of curiosity, what's stopping you from being an atheist? I used to be religious (muslim) when I was a child due to religious indoctrination but I managed to grow out of it and I became an atheist. I didn't even become an agnostic, I went straight to being an atheist as I'm so confident that god doesn't exist as when I analyse religion as objectively as possible, it really seems like a human construct and it seems like something that's made by humans for humans. To me, I can see how religion is made from human imagination just like how thanos or spiderman were made from human imagination. I know it's difficult for some people to fully be an atheist due to religious indoctrination since the fear of hellfire is really strong. If this applies to you, I'm sorry
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
229
Out of curiosity, what's stopping you from being an atheist? I used to be religious (muslim) when I was a child due to religious indoctrination but I managed to grow out of it and I became an atheist. I didn't even become an agnostic, I went straight to being an atheist as I'm so confident that god doesn't exist as when I analyse religion as objectively as possible, it really seems like a human construct and it seems like something that's made by humans for humans. To me, I can see how religion is made from human imagination just like how thanos or spiderman were made from human imagination. I know it's difficult for some people to fully be an atheist due to religious indoctrination since the fear of hellfire is really strong. If this applies to you, I'm sorry
Mostly what's stopping me from becoming an atheist is why would someone write religious books and scriptures and stuff? Are some of the written events actually happened or were they just written to troll people and its just fiction? I wish I could be full on atheist and believe in non existence as I think that's what I want most, to not feel any pain or potential fear or loss or disappoint or regrets from my desires, but I am stuck with being an agnostic as I don't think there is anything that disproves the existence of God. I am glad you able to be confident in believing God doesn't exist tho. I wish I could be freed from the thought that my suffering is caused by a sadist God.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
5,318
Mostly what's stopping me from becoming an atheist is why would someone write religious books and scriptures and stuff? Are some of the written events actually happened or were they just written to troll people and its just fiction? I wish I could be full on atheist and believe in non existence as I think that's what I want most, to not feel any pain or potential fear or loss or disappoint or regrets from my desires, but I am stuck with being an agnostic as I don't think there is anything that disproves the existence of God. I am glad you able to be confident in believing God doesn't exist tho. I wish I could be freed from the thought that my suffering is caused by a sadist God.
People wrote religious books to explain what they didn't know back at the time. As much as I despise religion, I gotta give credit where it's due and acknowledge that people back then didn't have the information about the world that we have now. As for some of the written events, I have no idea what written events are in christianity since I've been raised to follow islam but I wouldn't say that the events written in islam were to troll people but rather to deludedly think that they have an answer to everything by saying "god did it" or "this miracle happened". I honestly can't blame those who have been cursed by religious indoctrination still being agnostic because religious indoctrination is absolutely strong and it takes a lot of power to break out of it completely and see it for what it is. It's why I'm heavily against religions using the idea of hellfire to indoctrinate people into their religion
 
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hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
189
If you wanna be an atheist, be an atheist. Tell yourself "God isn't real, heaven and hell are bullshit, and when we die, there's no magical afterlife and we just rot in blissful nothing." That's the best advice I can give. Hope you find the peace you're looking for.
Yeah it doesn't work like that for me. No matter how many inconsistencies i notice or whatever. I just believe. If anything what im really unsure about is if suicide really leads to hell. But it's not like i can ask anyone. no one actually knows.
I am totally in the opposite position. I wish I were theist. At least I would have some false hope to cling on.
I see. My apologies if my post came off as insensitive.
As an atheist I take a lot of comfort in the idea that existence is meaningless. I can only imagine what it's like to be suicidal but also believe that you will continue to exist and burn in hell for eternity if you kill yourself. It sounds like a lot of additional pressure, to put it lightly.
Yes it really ism it's damned if i do damned if i don't. Like there's the hell of other ppl and then literal hell for not having any willpower.
Out of curiosity, what's stopping you from being an atheist? I used to be religious (muslim) when I was a child due to religious indoctrination but I managed to grow out of it and I became an atheist. I didn't even become an agnostic, I went straight to being an atheist as I'm so confident that god doesn't exist as when I analyse religion as objectively as possible, it really seems like a human construct and it seems like something that's made by humans for humans. To me, I can see how religion is made from human imagination just like how thanos or spiderman were made from human imagination. I know it's difficult for some people to fully be an atheist due to religious indoctrination since the fear of hellfire is really strong. If this applies to you, I'm sorry
If im being honestly im closer to agnostic than cchristian. But everyone around me is Christian, I've always been Christian and like the fear of hell is strong i guess. So like imo the way humans practice Christianity to me is like this has to be fake but i mean maybe at some point they practiced it correctly. That's my thought process.
Mostly what's stopping me from becoming an atheist is why would someone write religious books and scriptures and stuff? Are some of the written events actually happened or were they just written to troll people and its just fiction? I wish I could be full on atheist and believe in non existence as I think that's what I want most, to not feel any pain or potential fear or loss or disappoint or regrets from my desires, but I am stuck with being an agnostic as I don't think there is anything that disproves the existence of God. I am glad you able to be confident in believing God doesn't exist tho. I wish I could be freed from the thought that my suffering is caused by a sadist God.
Im in a similar line of thought. So far yes there's no proof God exists but there's also no proof he doesn't at the end it's based on belief. So I'm just picking the route that at least gives me a shot at avoiding eternal damnation
People wrote religious books to explain what they didn't know back at the time. As much as I despise religion, I gotta give credit where it's due and acknowledge that people back then didn't have the information about the world that we have now. As for some of the written events, I have no idea what written events are in christianity since I've been raised to follow islam but I wouldn't say that the events written in islam were to troll people but rather to deludedly think that they have an answer to everything by saying "god did it" or "this miracle happened". I honestly can't blame those who have been cursed by religious indoctrination still being agnostic because religious indoctrination is absolutely strong and it takes a lot of power to break out of it completely and see it for what it is. It's why I'm heavily against religions using the idea of hellfire to indoctrinate people into their religion
Yeah. Hellfire is what keeps me but then i get into that paradox of if im only scared of hell then that means i don't love god the most which means hell so im just like this is really lose lose. Cause i find it hard to believe that im loved by God, when i lost 3 relatives in the span of 2 years, my mum and dad will never accept all of me cause im non binary and it's against my religion. Also in general i was born in nigeria and they treat their kids like shit in the name of wanting a better future. So my parents are assholes when i get bad grades, and im fat so they treat me even worse. They favour my brothers. It's a mess (my parents love me and are mostly good though it's just the bad times have really screwed over my brain)
 
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Namelesa

Namelesa

Trapped in this Suffering
Sep 21, 2024
229
People wrote religious books to explain what they didn't know back at the time. As much as I despise religion, I gotta give credit where it's due and acknowledge that people back then didn't have the information about the world that we have now. As for some of the written events, I have no idea what written events are in christianity since I've been raised to follow islam but I wouldn't say that the events written in islam were to troll people but rather to deludedly think that they have an answer to everything by saying "god did it" or "this miracle happened". I honestly can't blame those who have been cursed by religious indoctrination still being agnostic because religious indoctrination is absolutely strong and it takes a lot of power to break out of it completely and see it for what it is. It's why I'm heavily against religions using the idea of hellfire to indoctrinate people into their religion
(This is saying about Christianity) Some of the written events that are included in the bible are things that Jesus' apostles have experienced and seen which include Jesus' miracles which would be things impossible to do without existence of a higher power. Are we saying that these things are either lies to manipulate others into thinking and doing what they want or misinterpretation of what actually happened cus of the book probably changing whats written in it as time goes on and just cus humans are humans.

To be honest I am not afraid of a potential afterlife that is endless torture (putting my conspiracy theory hat on) as the stuff like the bible and other religious books will be positively biased for God and heaven. God is going to want us to fear things like the Devil and hell as that is what he is apposed to so we don't actually know the Devil's point of view if he is actually bad. Tho there's a possibility that God created him to increase our suffering even more if we didn't play along with what he wanted or it could be that heaven and hell are both places of eternal suffering. God and Jesus could just be liars. I am probably just crazy tho for thinking these as potential things that could exist if God exists.

I am mostly afraid of the afterlife as I worry its just a continuation of life and existence (just in a different place) which would mean I could have regrets of not doing some things that I wanted to do here. If I knew an afterlife didn't exist and its just non-existence then I would want death even more as it doesn't matter what I would want to do with my life as I can't feel regrets or anything else in nothingness. I just want a way out of my existence but if any afterlife exists then even after death I have to continue existing, just in a different place. I want a place to not have to feel pain and fear loss or disappoint anymore.
 
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hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
189
If I knew an afterlife didn't exist and its just non-existence then I would want death even more as it doesn't matter what I would want to do with my life as I can't feel regrets or anything else in nothingness. I just want a way out of my existence but if any afterlife exists then even after death I have to continue existing, just in a different place. I want a place to not have to feel pain and fear loss or disappoint anymore.
This is exactly how i feel. If i knew nothing existed after death id paint the nearest motel wall with my brains.
 
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LifeIsASadist

LifeIsASadist

Worthless loser
Oct 16, 2024
21
I am fully convinced god isnt real so when I get a gun I can CTB without fear of hell
 
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OnMyLast Legs

OnMyLast Legs

Too many regrets
Oct 29, 2024
201
And despite all this. Ill probably never pull the fucking trigger and blast my head open because im scared of going to hell.
Same. I know how irrational it is. What, do we believe in Noah's Ark? In a 6,000 year old earth? Geocentrism? And yet, I still fall for this ancient mind control trick. I'm even an atheist. But letting death catch you unaware and dying on purpose are worlds apart.
 
hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
189
Same. I know how irrational it is. What, do we believe in Noah's Ark? In a 6,000 year old earth? Geocentrism? And yet, I still fall for this ancient mind control trick. I'm even an atheist. But letting death catch you unaware and dying on purpose are worlds apart.
Ancient mind control trick is so funny. But yeah when you compare christian mythology to the rest it's easy to see that it's just ridiculous as the rest but burning in hell is not fun lol. I feel like a lot of shit in the bible is made up. But im still christian. I go to church out of obligation but i feel like god just chooses not to interfere anymore. Like an apathy thing.
 
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Darkover

Darkover

Angelic
Jul 29, 2021
4,776
For too long, the weight of the world has been carried by the many for the benefit of the few. People toil, struggle, and sacrifice while the powerful sit atop a system designed to keep them there. But there comes a time when enough is enough—when the people realize that the chains binding them are held together by illusion, not inevitability.

Taking the power back doesn't start with grand revolutions overnight. It begins with the quiet understanding that we are stronger together than apart. It's in the whispers of shared frustration, the spark of collective resistance, and the fire of solidarity.

It's about workers refusing to be exploited, demanding fair pay and dignity. It's about communities standing together to protect their homes, their rights, and their futures. It's about dismantling systems that thrive on division, replacing them with ones that uplift and unite.

When people take the power back, it's not just about overthrowing the powerful—it's about building something better. A world where everyone has a voice, where the fruits of labor are shared, and where human lives are valued above profit and control. It's not easy, and it's not without struggle, but history has shown that when people rise together, even the most entrenched systems can fall.

The power has always belonged to the people. The challenge is remembering it and believing in it enough to act.

how do you get everyone on the same page well a time will come when the planet starts to run out of resources as this is an unsustainable system
sooner or later there going to be need for a uprising
 
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researcher12

researcher12

Member
Oct 25, 2024
9
im atheist yet thought of non existance scares me just as hell scares you. thats what stops me from suicide and i continue living this meaningless life.
 
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hoppybunny

hoppybunny

Fearer of the Future
Jun 26, 2024
189
im atheist yet thought of non existance scares me just as hell scares you. thats what stops me from suicide and i continue living this meaningless life.
Really?? Could u explain why? If it's not too invasive of a question? Cause all i can think is because non existence is i guess unimaginable. Cause u don't exist.
 
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pthnrdnojvsc

pthnrdnojvsc

Extreme Pain is much worse than people know
Aug 12, 2019
2,788
Out of curiosity, what's stopping you from being an atheist? I used to be religious (muslim) when I was a child due to religious indoctrination but I managed to grow out of it and I became an atheist. I didn't even become an agnostic, I went straight to being an atheist as I'm so confident that god doesn't exist as when I analyse religion as objectively as possible, it really seems like a human construct and it seems like something that's made by humans for humans. To me, I can see how religion is made from human imagination just like how thanos or spiderman were made from human imagination. I know it's difficult for some people to fully be an atheist due to religious indoctrination since the fear of hellfire is really strong. If this applies to you, I'm sorry
@ijustwishtodie I was kinda indoctrinated into the catholic religion when a child. I used to believe in god as a child ,But I think reading books like the Brain by David eaglemman , the human genome book by Matt Ridley, molecular cell biology got me to see a human is only a brain and cells.

So I now believe there is no god no afterlife no reincarnation no computer simulation
 
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