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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,365
In conversations I always try anticipate answers and I think I am quite good in that. But far from perfect. When it comes to love I am far behind always. I only realize things and how they are perceived way too late. I envy people who have better skills in that. But maybe that comes with experience?
 
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PianoGoat

PianoGoat

Pianist
Dec 10, 2024
32
Look, i wish i could predict things and anticipate answers or reactions...
I've learned that it depends from
person to person, some people just are liars, so it becomes incredibly hard to predict their behaviour...
Also when it comes to love a lot of time we project our ideals onto the person we love, and maybe we expect certain things out of them, which makes predicting their reactions or behaviours very difficult.
 
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
9,885
I guess I can understand wanting to plan for all the variables when faced with an important decision or when doing a project. This is curious to me though. Surely, getting to know someone as a friend or potential romantic partner is more about trying to listen intently and find out who they are as a person? Rather than trying to guess what they're going to say and, how you're going to respond to it. Not trying to criticize here. I'm just trying to remember if I do it with people. It's been so long since I interacted with people in the real world, I've kind of forgotton!

I'm curious though. Is this not in part trying to build a picture of who you think they are in your head? Maybe we all do that to an extent. Is it usually accurate though? What happens when it's not? Is it disappointing or, delightful?

I'm curious now on whether other people do this. Maybe I do it but not consciously. I suppose the nicest conversations I've had have been when people were actually genuinely interested in what I had to say rather than making assumptions on what I meant. That's maybe just me though.
 
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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,365
I guess I can understand wanting to plan for all the variables when faced with an important decision or when doing a project. This is curious to me though. Surely, getting to know someone as a friend or potential romantic partner is more about trying to listen intently and find out who they are as a person? Rather than trying to guess what they're going to say and, how you're going to respond to it. Not trying to criticize here. I'm just trying to remember if I do it with people. It's been so long since I interacted with people in the real world, I've kind of forgotton!

I'm curious though. Is this not in part trying to build a picture of who you think they are in your head? Maybe we all do that to an extent. Is it usually accurate though? What happens when it's not? Is it disappointing or, delightful?

I'm curious now on whether other people do this. Maybe I do it but not consciously. I suppose the nicest conversations I've had have been when people were actually genuinely interested in what I had to say rather than making assumptions on what I meant. That's maybe just me though.
How I perceive it when my prediction is wrong really depends on the issue of the prediction. I think I am somewhat good in predictions. I tend to overestimate my skills. But it is enough in order to be perceived as very self-aware in front of therapists.

I think this pattern of behavior is caused by child abuse. I think the punishments I received were very arbitrary and seemingly this causes way more damage than punishment under strict rules. I think my child brain thought its life was threatened. I learned trying to anticipate potential dangers. Pattern of behavior of people in my environment. It drove the Physics professors mad with all my never ending predicitions. He got really angry. I have different theories why it triggered him so much. He was an expert in sciene behind predictions.

Actually I am not sure what caused this. Some people told me people with ADHD tend to a similar behavior where they want to end the sentence of their opponent. I think my behavior is different. I assume it is related with the fact that I had a psychosis. It is clearly a part of pathological behavior. And in some ways it is connected with my from time to time paranoia.
 
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