Venting I wish I had male role models

[Ultracheese]

This is just a rant and a lot of it doesn't make any sense. I just wish I had some male role models I could look up to. For context, I am AFAB but identify as male and am 18.

I love my dad and I admire a lot of things about him like his work ethic and creativity. But he says awful things about men with mental health issues or who have been sexually assaulted. When I try to explain to him how these things are hurtful to me, he says that I don't count because I'm his kid and not a biological male so it's different. But that doesn't make me feel any better.

I've only had one friend. I love him so much and he was a wonderful, smart guy. But he killed himself two years ago because he had serious mental health issues which caused him to act erratically and burn a lot of bridges with people. He was so much more than his mental issues. He could fix anything and had possibly the greatest memory I've ever seen, and was so passionate about his interests, anything from football to physics to poetry, he spoke about with such conviction and excitement. But I worry a lot about ending up like him, never being remembering for anything except being "that crazy guy."

I've tried to hang out in mental health forums but I feel so different from everyone there. I have OCD and psychosis, and a lot of people understandably get frightened by my issues. My family and other people I'm out to have made fun of me for not being into traditional masculine interests, and it makes me feel ashamed about talking about my interests with others. I'm not sure what a role model would even look like. I have no idea where I would find one (I'm aware here is probably not the best place) and I'm worried my standards are too high.

 

[Yuki K]

Even though, I have male role models in life like my father and my grand-father. They both are great men and are at the epitome of masculinity. But one more place I look into for inspirational male role models is anime and manga. yes it might sound weird but this media probably has the best kind of characters you can look up to. It is such a diverse genre, you're bound to find someone perfect for you to look up to. All my childhood and even now, this media has kept me going. In a way I can say that Anime is the reason I'm here today. It motivates me to give my best and keep trying. I know a grown ass man looking up to cartoon characters is probably the least "manly" thing. But I'll recommend you to check out some anime, maybe you'll find your role model

 

[Ultracheese]

Even though, I have male role models in life like my father and my grand-father. They both are great men and are at the epitome of masculinity. But one more place I look into for inspirational male role models is anime and manga. yes it might sound weird but this media probably has the best kind of characters you can look up to. It is such a diverse genre, you're bound to find someone perfect for you to look up to. All my childhood and even now, this media has kept me going. In a way I can say that Anime is the reason I'm here today. It motivates me to give my best and keep trying. I know a grown ass man looking up to cartoon characters is probably the least "manly" thing. But I'll recommend you to check out some anime, maybe you'll find your role model

Thank you so much! Do you have any recommendations on where to get started?

 

[Yuki K]

Thank you so much! Do you have any recommendations on where to get started?

My hero Academia
Code Geass
Fullmetal Alchemist
Mob Psycho 100

 

[Rocinante]

Follow Buschke Löwenstein

 

[rationaltake]

How about @wait.what on here? Great role model imo.

 

[cgrtt.brns]

do u know if theres any support groups around where you live for trans people or people with mental illnesses? if having someone in real life is something ud want, that could be a place to look into to find like minded people. even if u dont end up finding a role model u might find some friends. just an idea, ik it can be very difficult or scary especially if ur worried of feeling othered in those spaces.

i relate w wanting a male role model. im ftm as well and even tho my dad is reasonably accepting of that aspect, he isnt really role model material if that makes sense. i never met any distant relatives or knew them well enough for them to be role models to me, nor have i had any male friends. i think ive mostly found role models in people on the internet like youtubers and streamers. which isn't always a good idea bc most people only show the best sides of themselves online so you could be striving to be something that is impossible if that makes sense. i agree with akira tendou's idea, fictional characters can be a good example. however that also can come with impossible standards in some cases. ig with fictional characters u can just pick the parts of them that u like and use them as things to apply to urself, as doing that with people could be a bit problematic lol. hope this made sense n was somewhat helpful.