Venting I wish I had a suicidal best friend

[executioner1983]

I've been fantasizing more and more about being able to end it alongside a friend, someone who shares the same beliefs as I and knows exactly how and what I've been feeling. I feel like I'm never on the same page with anyone anymore. No one wants what I want, nor how I want it. Sometimes I feel crazy. I just don't want to do this alone, it doesn't feel right, it wouldn't be the same.

And the worst part of all this is that I know this person is real. Out of all the people who have inhabited earth, they have had to have existed at some point, somewhere. On god knows whatever continent, someone who feels exactly as I do, the only things separating us being space and time. It's so trivial, so unfair, and so frustrating, being born in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Wherever you are, I'm sorry I couldn't find you. If we could have only crossed paths, maybe things would have been a little easier for both of us.

 

[huggyob]

your philosophy surrounding the idea of never being able to meet the "true" one which was meant for all of us holds a lot of merit. unfortunately we as humans have a very limited sphere of people we will be able to connect with throughout our life and the chance of finding the one which is ideal for us is astronomically low, and that's the sad reality we live in. i myself have daydreamed about ending it all in all sorts of places with this imaginary best friend which i can never seem to find, you're not the only one wishing for someone they can finally relate to after being disappointed and shut down by all the other people in our lives.
the best of luck from me with meeting someone which cares and can give you something more than a distant apathy

 

[notherenotnow]

I feel the same... i wish i could die with somebody.
I had a bestfriend who also wanted to die. We used to talk about ways to do it, we used to joke about, we used to cut eachother in the school's bathroom. Then she got better. Found herself someone better than me. Good for her, I guess.. I dont think I'm ever going to find anybody who would act like she used to act towards me... I suppose I just have to accept the fact that I'll die alone. Maybe it's better this way.

 

[Lost21]

I share your feelings

 

[lastexit717@proton.]

you have one here , =)
you can rise from this

 

[latuecat]

Im sorry, that must be lonely.. I hope you're able to find someone to be your friend about this, its really nice to have that kind of person to talk to.
I have an online friend who shares my suicidal thoughts and we talk about it often. She's a lot more active in planning than I am and sometimes I find myself selfishly feeling scared of losing her if she succeeds in cbting. I've shared a lot with her about my suicidal ideation and self harm. We live in different places and come online at different times, but every day I get to talk with her is one of the better days.
If you want, we can chat a little. I may not be that person but I'm happy to try to listen as a friend if it helps ^^