S
sopwithcamel
Member
- Mar 30, 2021
- 38
When I'm not in school or doing homework, my life consists of scrolling down a feed, watching videos on Youtube or sometimes playing video games. I do have hobbies but I don't dedicate as much time to them as I used to, and so much of my life is lived through a screen. Even when I'm at the gym I spend so much time staring at my phone. I'm so lonely. I have no friends. Nobody to hang out with. I feel like it's permanent. I make an effort to talk to my classmates but no matter what I do it's obvious I'll never be anybody's first choice. And for someone who spends so much time online, it's funny how dead my phone actually is. I receive zero notifications, I have nothing worthwhile to post on my IG account, no photos of me on my camera roll, the only phone numbers on my phone are that of my family members. I want to stick around for a few years to see if it ever gets better, but at the way my life is going, I think it would better if I just kill myself now. I can't imagine being 30, 40, 50, 60+ and having had no meaningful memories. Just endlessly staring at a screen waiting... I think there's no solution. I already sleep 8+ hours a day, I go to the gym, go outside way more than I did before, try and socialize with others, but the basic advice people give on the Internet and that I've applied simply doesn't help. I'm still as lonely as before. Maybe if I had money I could mitigate that feeling since I'd have more options to distract myself but that's dumb too. I feel stuck...