Venting I wish I didn't have to be the one to always send the first message

[CoolGuy9]

Yeah I know I have talked about this before, but I have a bunch of friends online and literally no one will send me a message first. The only way they'll talk to me is if I start the conversation and if I keep it going. I wish I could just sit here and have someone send me a message and feel like they are also trying to keep it going, because they like me, but I guess that's just too much to ask for. Just fuck everything.

 

[Alwaysbadtime]

I hear you. That sounds frusterating. I relate. Yeah FUCK IT.

 

[suisuiforum]

I'm not sure if this is any consolation, but from the other end of this, I'm absolutely horrible with keeping messages going even if I like talking to people online. Sometimes I'm just too exhausted to think of anything worthwhile to add to the conversation, and it might take days for me to reply, but that doesn't mean I don't care about them.

 

[CioransSon]

Yeah I know I have talked about this before, but I have a bunch of friends online and literally no one will send me a message first. The only way they'll talk to me is if I start the conversation and if I keep it going. I wish I could just sit here and have someone send me a message and feel like they are also trying to keep it going, because they like me, but I guess that's just too much to ask for. Just fuck everything.

Ugh. Being the constant initiator in friendships is exhausting. For me it's then "well what happened if I don't do this for a week or so?" And the result is not people contacting me. The result is, I talk to fewer humans and things are more sad.
Aka I send empathy.

 

[CoolGuy9]

I'm not sure if this is any consolation, but from the other end of this, I'm absolutely horrible with keeping messages going even if I like talking to people online. Sometimes I'm just too exhausted to think of anything worthwhile to add to the conversation, and it might take days for me to reply, but that doesn't mean I don't care about them.

That does help. Thanks stranger.

 

[not-2-b-the-answer]

Yeah I know I have talked about this before, but I have a bunch of friends online and literally no one will send me a message first. The only way they'll talk to me is if I start the conversation and if I keep it going. I wish I could just sit here and have someone send me a message and feel like they are also trying to keep it going, because they like me, but I guess that's just too much to ask for. Just fuck everything.

I'm not sure if this is any consolation, but from the other end of this, I'm absolutely horrible with keeping messages going even if I like talking to people online. Sometimes I'm just too exhausted to think of anything worthwhile to add to the conversation, and it might take days for me to reply, but that doesn't mean I don't care about them.

I see both sides of this. It really bugs me about IRL friends the most. I always have to text first.
Online friends, many times I don't know what to say either. Some conversations here just kinda die. Unlike me... Who cannot.

 

[CoolGuy9]

This is mainly about 1 person and it just bugs me how things are between us now. We used to talk a lot, but now we pretty much never do. Feels like everything good in my life will always just turn to fucking shit, because why the fuck wouldn't it.

 

[lucid]

I also relate deeply to this. I am one of the shyest people out of those I know, but a lot of my friends are either just like me or the usual "message me first or nothing" type. I don't hate them for it, I get it. But I just wish they would understand me not messaging isn't because I don't like them as much or something.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

This is mainly about 1 person and it just bugs me how things are between us now. We used to talk a lot, but now we pretty much never do. Feels like everything good in my life will always just turn to fucking shit, because why the fuck wouldn't it.

I feel this and empathize. I'm sorry you're going through this kind of situation. it sucks.

 

[ming]

People constantly change, they always want something new after a while. Unfortunately, that goes for people as well. I went through something similar before, I used to be best friends with someone, only to find that they were becoming disinterested in me. It's upsetting to see them eagerly messaging others, but that is why you have to move on as well. If they won't put effort, then don't bother. That's why being alone is easiest, you don't have to deal with other's selfishness.

 

[noxin]

I guess I'd have to apologise for being that kind of friend. There was a guy I loved talking to and I'd always look forward to his conversations but I'd never initiate them myself because I felt like I was always bothering him.

 

[overcomingfear]

i can relate. i don't send a message first anymore and i don't have friends anymore. relationships should never be one sided

 

[FuneralCry]

Sorry you are going through this, I understand that it can be frustrating. It's why I'm glad I'm so introverted as people can be very disappointing. I wish you well.

 

[CoolGuy9]

I'm either going to move on from this or ctb. Haven't decided yet.

 

[OpheliasFlowers]

I guess I'd have to apologise for being that kind of friend. There was a guy I loved talking to and I'd always look forward to his conversations but I'd never initiate them myself because I felt like I was always bothering him.

I'm like this, too, for the same reason. I always feel like I'm bugging people and also that what I say is stupid or inane anyway.

 

[Jumping_realms]

Yup, but I am guilty of that, myself too. My depression literally want's me to CTB 24/7, the last thing I feel like doing is keeping relationships, so I push people away a good bit. It's bad, because if I didn't suffer such apathy, this of course wouldn't be the case.

It's one shitty cycle.