Venting I wish I could see the aftermath

[notwhereIbelong]

This is probably the biggest reason why I haven't CTB yet, besides survival instinct and a general fear of death. I wish I could see how people are going to react, who's gonna react, who's gonna know. Are they really going to care? The people who used to be my friends, whom I haven't spoken to in a year, are they even gonna hear about it? How long after it happens are they gonna find out? Will they wonder whether they had a role in this, and will I haunt their conscience, or will they move on immediately? Who's gonna show up at my funeral? The few people who are supposed to be my friends right now, will they find out about it? When? They don't seem to really care when I stop responding for a while, and it's not like they have any other way of reaching me or finding out what happened to me, unless they check the obituaries I guess. Will they just assume I decided to ghost them forever?
I feel like this would just make CTB sadder, being forgotten right after, realistically the only ones who would know are my parents and my grandma, it would be an empty funeral; everyone else would probably just assume I became a hermit
Being forgotten and unloved even in death, that is sad
I guess, just for once, even if I'm not here anymore, I wish I could finally get some compassion

 

[Ki_Nam]

If those things are what concerns you, you would probably struggle with SI. If you really want to ctb, you need to let go of those things. But yeah, I get what you're saying. I'm quite curious about that myself, but it should be trivial in the grand scheme of things. I personally don't care if my body ends up in a gutter or be eaten by wild animals.

 

[FuneralCry]

The reality is that we are all destined to die and be forgotten about, eventually we very likely won't even exist in the memories of those who stay here and this is the reality. But anyway, life really is so meaningless and insignificant, whatever happens in this world after we are gone could simply never be our concern.

 

[noonipie]

i know i agree. i always think about how people would react. certain people who i want to hurt. and others being the reason i havent gone through with it. i wanna see even how my pets would react, if at all. i want to know if they would miss me, or for how long.