Venting I wish everyone would just be kinder to each other

[.............]

Regarding some recent stuff, I just think it's insane how people can invalidate the reasons why someone would CTB. We are people, we are all different, and that means that all of us are going to have different ways we handle things. That includes stress.

There are lots of reasons people want to CTB that people would consider insignificant. Some people buckle under what people may consider small pressures such as break-ups or school-related issues. There are some people who have illnesses that aren't quite chronic, but still make it difficult to exist from day to day. There are other people with mental illnesses that are "curable" (is this correct termiterminology) but have spent a long, long time without getting near recovery. What do all these people have in common? Their pain is valid, and speaking over them is cruel. Be kinder to these people. If you yourself believe that these people still have a chance to heal, why not show compassion? Why not show them a little bit of light instead of adding to the pressure they feel everyday? Tough love is a thing, yes. But that's something that would only be comforting coming from a person someone can trust, not some rando on the Internet

There are a lot of people that are, for lack of a better term, weak-willed out there. I'm one of them. We know for a fact that we crack easily under pressure, but the way to help us isn't to spout abuse at us and treat us like we're just whining and complaining. We aren't expecting you to baby us either. Just show some compassion, and sympathize with the pain. If you don't think the reason someone wants to CTB is valid, be gentle about it instead of treating us like we're a bunch of idiots. It's not hard to be nice.

Sorry if this doesn't read too coherently or whatever. It's upsetting to me to see anyone's pain especially on HERE be treated like it's bullshit. All of us are here for a reason, a lot of people come here for comfort by speaking aith like-minded people. The last thing anyone should be doing is being a dick.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Some people are hurting internally so much that they lash out. In other cases, they project.

It sucks, but what can you do? :/

 

[DPJ187]

Pain is what connects us. Dont worry about other people, we hold ourselves to standards that are acceptable to us. We cant control others but we can be sure they dont compromise our integrity but reducing us to lesser ourselves. We only want people to hear our voices and to hopefully take away some wisdom from our words.

 

[.............]

Some people are hurting internally so much that they lash out. In other cases, they project.

It sucks, but what can you do? :/

It is super unfortunate and I know it happens but I can't help but be upset about it
Ever since I was a kid, I'd get upset at people fighting if I'm in a bad enough mood. It's just gotten worse lately.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

It is super unfortunate and I know it happens but I can't help but be upset about it
Ever since I was a kid, I'd get upset at people fighting if I'm in a bad enough mood. It's just gotten worse lately.

Agreed. Compassion goes a long way.

 

[FuneralCry]

It seems like some people can be very cruel for no good reason. People should stop being so insensitive and invalidating, they have no idea what others are really going through. People should always be respectful. I believe that we all have the right to exit this world at a time of our own choosing and nobody needs to justify their reasons for leaving anyway. Suicide is a personal decision.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

There are some people who think that anyone who is in a situation not exactly like theirs are weak, dramatic, etc, and if they personally were in the other's shoes, they firmly believe they could do something different/take another course of action.

At the end of the day, it's lack of empathy. They cannot comprehend why the other person wants to ctb, and try to belittle them in some sort of rouge "tough love" approach because they think they're helping. In the vast majority of cases, this does nothing but cause more pain.

I see this happening quite frequently with older people who want to minimalise the issues of those younger than them, or turn it into a suffering Olympics where everyone else's pain is less valid than theirs. It isn't kind behaviour.

I understand the sentiment that they want to try and save younger people, but they make a complete mockery of what those people are going though and try to accuse anyone under the age of say, 25, of having high school relationship issues or immaturity.

There were several users, who have since been banned, who privately and publically in chat, said that I'm too young to know what I want (nearly 23 years old, hardly a teenager) and that facts don't care about my 'opinion' that not everyone has the exact same rate of brain development- which is funny, because I study neuroscience and some stranger was trying to tell me that scientific studies I read on varying rates of neurodevelopment (especially with autism) are bullshit because this person considers themselves to be older and wiser about these matters.

Brain development is a very vague term, when people mention brain development, they never specify which brain areas need to be fully developed in order to constitute maturity- I assume the prefrontal cortex for executive functioning and the extended limbic system for emotional processing and regulation- but I digress.

Of course, the more experiences you have in life, and the more knowledge you accumulate over the years, the more informed you will be when making decisions. However, no one else will ever step foot into our subjective consciousness, they are never going to see first hand everything we go through as individuals. They wrongfully assume that because they can do something, a distinctly different person can as well.

These banned users invalidated my chronic illnesses and kept trying to implicate that physical pain is in my head and I can definitely find someone else to marry in the future, find a job that accommodates disabilities both physical and mental, etc, but never give any hint or justification for how that's possible. It's wistful thinking, unless you can provide tangible evidence as to how someone can improve their lives.

It is disheartening to see people talking down to others, invalidating their pain, accusing people of faking being suicidal, saying certain illnesses are fake, using buzzwords like narcissist, attention seeker, and malingerer to refer to users who have illnesses they look down on and don't believe in. Such behaviour should not be welcome here at all. They are no better than many of the abusers and bullies who drove people to despair with their actions, especially those who harass members in their most vunerable moments of a suicide attempt, and agg them on.

 

[Niko66]

I agree completely and I find people being unnecessarily mean and inconsiderate to others super triggering to where I end up being part of the problem trying to confront people. Words can really get to me, even those directed at others can really hurt.

We are such a judgmental species... It's heartbreaking. I too wish we could just have some compassion, sympathy and consideration for each other.
But I can't justify hurting others because of your own turmoil, once someone starts doing that while I try to understand why it happens, to me it's reproachable no matter what. We should always treat others well yet it so impossible :/

 

[bing]

Humans are animals first and foremost so nature just takes its course

 

[Al Cappella]

Especially, when on the internet, you actually don't have say anything at all, ever. Going after people in DMs is just bizarre and stupid. Who knows why people behave as they do, but nothing excuses it, not even suffering. Yes, the world could use more kindness.

 

[WorthlessTrash]

Especially, when on the internet, you actually don't have say anything at all, ever. Going after people in DMs is just bizarre and stupid. Who knows why people behave as they do, but nothing excuses it, not even suffering. Yes, the world could use more kindness.

People do that because there's no actual consequence in doing so. Doing it in person runs the risk of someone getting their head kicked in. I bet whomever the OP is referring to would not even dare say that to the other person's face.

 

[Kismet]

Very well said and some really good points in the comments as well.

It doesn't cost anything to be kind.
Very well said and some really good points in the comments as well.

It doesn't cost anything to be kind.

 

[Al Cappella]

People do that because there's no actual consequence in doing so. Doing it in person runs the risk of someone getting their head kicked in. I bet whomever the OP is referring to would not even dare say that to the other person's face.

Yes, I think you're right. Like road range, I suppose…

 

[locked*n*loaded]

they never specify which brain areas need to be fully developed in order to constitute maturity

I think they mean life experience really. Wisdom comes from living and experiencing.

Humans are animals first and foremost so nature just takes its course

Animals don't do that shit to each other, as far as I know anyway.

 

[Shu]

People do that because there's no actual consequence in doing so. Doing it in person runs the risk of someone getting their head kicked in. I bet whomever the OP is referring to would not even dare say that to the other person's face.

...

Regarding some recent stuff, I just think it's insane how people can invalidate the reasons why someone would CTB. We are people, we are all different, and that means that all of us are going to have different ways we handle things. That includes stress.

There are lots of reasons people want to CTB that people would consider insignificant. Some people buckle under what people may consider small pressures such as break-ups or school-related issues. There are some people who have illnesses that aren't quite chronic, but still make it difficult to exist from day to day. There are other people with mental illnesses that are "curable" (is this correct termiterminology) but have spent a long, long time without getting near recovery. What do all these people have in common? Their pain is valid, and speaking over them is cruel. Be kinder to these people. If you yourself believe that these people still have a chance to heal, why not show compassion? Why not show them a little bit of light instead of adding to the pressure they feel everyday? Tough love is a thing, yes. But that's something that would only be comforting coming from a person someone can trust, not some rando on the Internet

There are a lot of people that are, for lack of a better term, weak-willed out there. I'm one of them. We know for a fact that we crack easily under pressure, but the way to help us isn't to spout abuse at us and treat us like we're just whining and complaining. We aren't expecting you to baby us either. Just show some compassion, and sympathize with the pain. If you don't think the reason someone wants to CTB is valid, be gentle about it instead of treating us like we're a bunch of idiots. It's not hard to be nice.

Sorry if this doesn't read too coherently or whatever. It's upsetting to me to see anyone's pain especially on HERE be treated like it's bullshit. All of us are here for a reason, a lot of people come here for comfort by speaking aith like-minded people. The last thing anyone should be doing is being a dick.

Couldn't have said it any better. ♡

 

[piger]

Until they can find understanding of our pain they will never stop being inconsiderate or mean. People are either shocked when you express your feelings or will think ill of you as they think they see ways out that you can't for yourself. I just wish that expressing suicidal feelings did not feel or look like attention seeking to me and others. It always has to be a goddamn burden when it really shouldn't unless they truly care.

 

[Al Cappella]

Animals don't do that shit to each other, as far as I know anyway.

I'm afraid that's not quite accurate, as much in the animal kingdom is brutally ferocious, including cannibalism, wiping out a pride's young (lions), and really god-awful warring parties (chimpanzees). Humans of course do all that on a much grander scale, but we hardly invented the behaviour…

 

[Weebster]

I wish people acted authentically then I could know who to avoid in public.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Animals don't do that shit to each other, as far as I know anyway.

I'm afraid that's not quite accurate, as much in the animal kingdom is brutally ferocious, including cannibalism, wiping out a pride's young (lions), and really god-awful warring parties (chimpanzees). Humans of course do all that on a much grander scale, but we hardly invented the behaviour…

I don't think it's the same thing. I doubt they're doing it with conscious thought to be mean just to be mean. For animals, it's based in survival. Hard to say that about asshole humans. Humans who are mean derive pleasure from inflicting it on others.

 

[Al Cappella]

I don't think it's the same thing. I doubt they're doing it with conscious thought to be mean just to be mean. For animals, it's based in survival. Hard to say that about asshole humans. Humans who are mean derive pleasure from inflicting it on others.

Oh, from that perspective, I actually don't know. Maybe chimps. But overall, I'd say you're probably right…

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Oh, from that perspective, I actually don't know. Maybe chimps. But overall, I'd say you're probably right…

Wait a minute now, maybe I missed something here. I might have missed it, but did this conversation change from the OP post? I might have missed your perspective and what preceding post it was based on. If I did, I apologize.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

Regarding some recent stuff, I just think it's insane how people can invalidate the reasons why someone would CTB. We are people, we are all different, and that means that all of us are going to have different ways we handle things. That includes stress.

There are lots of reasons people want to CTB that people would consider insignificant. Some people buckle under what people may consider small pressures such as break-ups or school-related issues. There are some people who have illnesses that aren't quite chronic, but still make it difficult to exist from day to day. There are other people with mental illnesses that are "curable" (is this correct termiterminology) but have spent a long, long time without getting near recovery. What do all these people have in common? Their pain is valid, and speaking over them is cruel. Be kinder to these people. If you yourself believe that these people still have a chance to heal, why not show compassion? Why not show them a little bit of light instead of adding to the pressure they feel everyday? Tough love is a thing, yes. But that's something that would only be comforting coming from a person someone can trust, not some rando on the Internet

There are a lot of people that are, for lack of a better term, weak-willed out there. I'm one of them. We know for a fact that we crack easily under pressure, but the way to help us isn't to spout abuse at us and treat us like we're just whining and complaining. We aren't expecting you to baby us either. Just show some compassion, and sympathize with the pain. If you don't think the reason someone wants to CTB is valid, be gentle about it instead of treating us like we're a bunch of idiots. It's not hard to be nice.

Sorry if this doesn't read too coherently or whatever. It's upsetting to me to see anyone's pain especially on HERE be treated like it's bullshit. All of us are here for a reason, a lot of people come here for comfort by speaking aith like-minded people. The last thing anyone should be doing is being a dick.

I totally agree. We should support each other and stop with meaningless and futile arguments. Life is hard enough. Otherwise, the purpose of coming here is lost. Nobody needs more problems than the ones they already have. So let's ignore the latest events and discussions and return to being an understanding, supportive, kind and non-judgmental community.

 

[Al Cappella]

Wait a minute now, maybe I missed something here. I might have missed it, but did this conversation change from the OP post? I might have missed your perspective and what preceding post it was based on. If I did, I apologize.

I don't think the convo changed from the OP's point, just took a wee detour in terms of how animals behave. Your last point was to say that animals aren't intentional, whereas humans are. I think that's valid, as far as I know. So no need to apologize, it's all fine

 

[tanglyy]

i catch myself feeling this way sometimes. it stems from jealousy, like "if i ONLY had those problems then i could actually live my life".

everyone's threshold for pain is different so other peoples problems don't always translate to our lives

 

[MicropBaldCurrycel]

Some people are hurting internally so much that they lash out. In other cases, they project.

It sucks, but what can you do? :/

sad things is people would just label them as "bad" without understanding why they developed that mentality. sort of like an abused dog who lashes out.