Discussion I wish attempting suicide would guarantee death

[LXR515]

I'd have clocked myself out YEARS ago and been free of all this misery and pain if only I knew for 100% that I would be able to die without failure/hospitalizing myself or crippling myself for life. It's so fucking frustrating you have to account for so much just to finally get some peace

 

[James Sunderland]

It's infuriating to feel trapped in that place where even finding peace feels complicated and full of risks. You've been carrying this for a long time, and I can't imagine how exhausting that must be. If you ever want to talk about what's weighing on you or just need a space to let it out, I'm here in this thread.

 

[LXR515]

It's infuriating to feel trapped in that place where even finding peace feels complicated and full of risks. You've been carrying this for a long time, and I can't imagine how exhausting that must be. If you ever want to talk about what's weighing on you or just need a space to let it out, I'm here in this thread.

Ty I appreciate that. I wish venting would give me some meaningful relief or an ease from my pain but it'll just come back the next day until I'm finally dead. I feel in no way prepared for the real world and I'm just sick of it all

 

[James Sunderland]

Yeah! It's like venting gives a tiny bit of release, but the weight just settles back in afterward. The "real world" can feel pretty overwhelming, especially when every day feels like you're just trying to survive it.

 

[DexterPig]

Uncertainty is the one thing stopping me. My absolute worst fear is becoming significantly disabled from an attempt and my mom of all people being my caretaker. Not to mention forced to talk to therapists until I can pretend I'm "okay" again

 

[Leiot]

I'd have clocked myself out YEARS ago and been free of all this misery and pain if only I knew for 100% that I would be able to die without failure/hospitalizing myself or crippling myself for life. It's so fucking frustrating you have to account for so much just to finally get some peace

I can tell you from personal experience that it doesn't always work. I tried OD'ing on oxycodone. Took an entire bottle (> 90 tablets) and I got drowsy. I was on some pretty high powered pain killers at the time anyway - fentanyl.

My psychiatrist at the VA told me about a vet she worked with. Guy was a combat vet, clearly knew about how to use a firearm. Tried to CTB by shooting himself in the head. Didn't do it. Bounced off his skull but scrambled everything up pretty bad. I remember her telling me that the only thing scarier than suicide is not succeeding.