Venting i will never be happy. i want out.

[catastrophix]

i'm so upset and just flat out irate with myself. i spend every day trying to better myself even when all i can do is just feel myself become more ugly and disgusting, inside and out. it feels like everyone i've ever known hates me and wants me dead so i should just do what they want. they don't say it but i know. there's no reason anyone would want me around. i don't know why i let that stupid bullshit hold me back from ctb years ago. i'm completely worthless, better off dead. can't believe i was so dead set on recovery for a while. i want out and i want it as soon as humanly possible. i fucking hate myself and i hate everything and everyone that's fucked me over. i'm completely done now. there is no hope left.

 

[FuneralCry]

Existing here certainly is so dreadful and hopeless, I get that it's so awful feeling trapped in a situation that you hate. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the freedom you search for.

 

[The anhedonic one]

I don't think you are worthless at all.
I think you are just like many of us here on SaSu.
You have been hurt by the stupid and selfish people of this dreadful world, and hurt most likely for no good reason at all.
It's only natural to feel worthless when others demean you and invalidate your feelings.
Yet I honestly wouldn't let your happiness be defined by what others think of you.
You are better than that.
So sorry you are going through this.

 

[Rack.-]

If you want someone to talk to about it you can contact me. It just hurts me too much seeing you are going through this and I think it would help you talking a bit with someone. Take care <3

 

[Elysion]

Thank you for sharing your pain, it is a kind of respect for us. I have not seen your appearance before and maybe this is the first time I am sending you a message, but I can imagine your appearance from what you said, I can imagine your personality. You are beautiful and I love you not because of your looks but because of your honest thoughts. I will leave you a short music with the voice of Val, if you are interested, I will tell you the story behind this music.
Music

Thank you for sharing your pain, it is a kind of respect for us. I have not seen your appearance before and maybe this is the first time I am sending you a message, but I can imagine your appearance from what you said, I can imagine your personality. You are beautiful and I love you not because of your looks but because of your honest thoughts. I will leave you a short music with the voice of Val, if you are interested, I will tell you the story behind this music.
Music