FireFox
Enlightened
- Apr 8, 2020
- 1,615
I am addicted to over the counter laxatives called Dulcolax because I love the emotional numbness the laxatives give me and having a low weight body, my slim body is the only thing perfect in my life nothing else is. I abuse diet pills as well and restrict my eating, I can not even finish a meal.
Everyday my day is spent collapsed on the living room floor because laxative abuse leaves a person dehydrated due to loss of water being expelled from the body. I have no energy to do anything and I am completely out of it majority of the time due to the fatigue and light-headedness. I do it to escape all awful feelings of failure and being a total loser. I am a loser I got fired at 25 from my first ever full time job since graduating university, single and always unsuccessful with men while other women I grew up with are getting married and thriving in life. Right now I would have been attending university lectures for my masters course but unfortunately I have been forced to defer a year because of unforseen financial issues. Getting into university was the only good news I had this year to lose that I just lost all motivation and have nothing to look forward too anymore. My days are now spent being out of it completely
In August last year I collapsed on my living room floor with no energy and the way my heart was beating it was not normal beating. I thought I just needed more water because there was a heatwave but the next couple of hours later I couldn't stop throwing up and the vomit was a clear liquid. I could feel my body just shutting down. I went to bed to sleep it off and I felt fine the next day but I was so scared I was not going to wake up. My body was so weak and i thought my heart was going to stop beating. Despite that scary incident I still have been abusing laxatives non stop. One day its going to kill me
Everyday my day is spent collapsed on the living room floor because laxative abuse leaves a person dehydrated due to loss of water being expelled from the body. I have no energy to do anything and I am completely out of it majority of the time due to the fatigue and light-headedness. I do it to escape all awful feelings of failure and being a total loser. I am a loser I got fired at 25 from my first ever full time job since graduating university, single and always unsuccessful with men while other women I grew up with are getting married and thriving in life. Right now I would have been attending university lectures for my masters course but unfortunately I have been forced to defer a year because of unforseen financial issues. Getting into university was the only good news I had this year to lose that I just lost all motivation and have nothing to look forward too anymore. My days are now spent being out of it completely
In August last year I collapsed on my living room floor with no energy and the way my heart was beating it was not normal beating. I thought I just needed more water because there was a heatwave but the next couple of hours later I couldn't stop throwing up and the vomit was a clear liquid. I could feel my body just shutting down. I went to bed to sleep it off and I felt fine the next day but I was so scared I was not going to wake up. My body was so weak and i thought my heart was going to stop beating. Despite that scary incident I still have been abusing laxatives non stop. One day its going to kill me
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