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RosebyAnyName
Staring at the ceiling for 6 hours
- Nov 9, 2023
- 141
I'm sick of being stuck with my unsupportive, controlling parents who only love me to the extent that I might give them grandchildren (I will never force a new child to live in this miserable world).
I realized that maybe I might actually feel in control of my life and able to move on from my trauma if I can be independent and move away. I can enjoy the nerdy things I enjoy without having to hide them or be ashamed about them around my parents. I won't have to hide who I really am in the comfort of my own home. I won't have to pretend I'm interested in boys or having children and a family.
I'm working very hard at my job and in my life to try and afford to move out. If I can't move out by the time I'm 30 years old, then there's no point in me living any more. I hate the thought of being stuck with my parents for any longer than 30 years, by that point I don't want to have to grind the capitalism machine any longer. I already semi-hate my job (who doesn't?) and having to do it any longer without even being able to afford to move out and enjoy my adult freedom will be the last straw.
I won't live with roommates or a spouse, because I'd still rather live with the devil I know (my parents) than the devil I don't know, and I refuse to rent. At that point, ctb is the better choice for me. Maybe I'm just being "fussy" but I really can't imagine a superior alternative to CtB aside from owning my own house alone, without being forced to rely on anyone who could inevitably just abuse me like everyone else that I was forced to rely on.
I'm in my mid 20s now, I hope it doesn't have to come to this, and I've been suicidal for a long time without having acted on it, but I'm at the point where I'm ready to throw in the towel.
I realized that maybe I might actually feel in control of my life and able to move on from my trauma if I can be independent and move away. I can enjoy the nerdy things I enjoy without having to hide them or be ashamed about them around my parents. I won't have to hide who I really am in the comfort of my own home. I won't have to pretend I'm interested in boys or having children and a family.
I'm working very hard at my job and in my life to try and afford to move out. If I can't move out by the time I'm 30 years old, then there's no point in me living any more. I hate the thought of being stuck with my parents for any longer than 30 years, by that point I don't want to have to grind the capitalism machine any longer. I already semi-hate my job (who doesn't?) and having to do it any longer without even being able to afford to move out and enjoy my adult freedom will be the last straw.
I won't live with roommates or a spouse, because I'd still rather live with the devil I know (my parents) than the devil I don't know, and I refuse to rent. At that point, ctb is the better choice for me. Maybe I'm just being "fussy" but I really can't imagine a superior alternative to CtB aside from owning my own house alone, without being forced to rely on anyone who could inevitably just abuse me like everyone else that I was forced to rely on.
I'm in my mid 20s now, I hope it doesn't have to come to this, and I've been suicidal for a long time without having acted on it, but I'm at the point where I'm ready to throw in the towel.