I welcome death with open arms, I'm just afraid of the pain and possible gore of ctb

[SoulofSteel]

Sometimes I think about just waiting and dying whenever my natural expiry date comes to because I'm afraid of ctb in a painful way, or for it to go horribly wrong.

However every waking moment that I live is just me fantasizing about not existing anymore because of the mental anguish, plus waiting entails actually dealing with the other shit life throws at you. I don't know what to do... Wish I could go peacefully.

 

[nopointinlivingg]

I think most of us on here share your sentiment. If N was still available 90% of this site's member base would be gone overnight. Always stings a little bit to notice one more person in the "club" though.

It seems you're pretty uncertain. I would say that no matter what decision you make, take your time and make sure you are 100% certain in your decision, no matter what it may be.

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Sometimes I think about just waiting and dying whenever my natural expiry date comes to because I'm afraid of ctb in a painful way, or for it to go horribly wrong.

However every waking moment that I live is just me fantasizing about not existing anymore because of the mental anguish, plus waiting entails actually dealing with the other shit life throws at you. I don't know what to do... Wish I could go peacefully.

Frankly, there's nothing you can do, as your options are pretty limited.
Everyday, you can wake up and just lie in bed and just sleep the day away (eventually, you do drift off). You dont move, just, lie there.
Or, you move, go through the motions, and try to hide the annoyance/frustration at the world in general and try as hard as you can to get through the day, and hope you were atleast able to do something to contribute to your CTB plan.

both are sh*tty choices.

 

[FuneralCry]

To me it really would be such a relief if there's the option to just fall into an dreamless and eternal sleep, it's hellish how people even have to resort to painful and risky methods in the first place, I also feel trapped here.

 

[fxxhan175]

It's honestly inhumane how people who already have experienced more pain than the average person ever has to endure in their lifetime, now have to worry about experiencing pain and even more anguish when trying to find peace by ctb. Everyone should have a choice and access to safe and effective resources that don't put you at an even greater risk.

 

[wanttodie]

me to welcome death with open arms,