Venting I wasted more than 20 years of my life

[ManchildLoser]

Im 34 year old man, but i still feel like a child, the last 20 years i wasted and i have not grown emotionnaly, i have no experience in life in general, i never had a girlfriend or even a date because girls scare me and im easily heartbroken.
Im so behind everyone in life , i have been stuck in the past for far too long and there is no hope for me. I feel like a defect all the time.

anyone like me or am i the only one?

 

[GasMonkey]

Yeah I'm a 38yo KHHV (Kissless Hugless Handholdless Virgin).
@LetzteAusfahrt was also a 52yo virgin.

CTB is the only option for me, only death can free me.

 

[talkaddict]

I feel like I can relate to how you feel.

I am 23, never had a girlfriend or dated, missed out on all the normal experiences that my few friends have had. I still have the same friends I made when I was young which I am very grateful for they have always been accepting of how I am. But I feel like I now find it increasingly hard to relate to their life's as they have all moved on socially and I have remained the shy anti-social kid I always have been.
I feel like I just cannot relate to anyone. When I try to socialize I just have nothing or talk about I have a boring job that doesn't really interest me and no life experiences to share when I meet people

 

[ManchildLoser]

I feel like I can relate to how you feel.

I am 23, never had a girlfriend or dated, missed out on all the normal experiences that my few friends have had. I still have the same friends I made when I was young which I am very grateful for they have always been accepting of how I am. But I feel like I now find it increasingly hard to relate to their life's as they have all moved on socially and I have remained the shy anti-social kid I always have been.
I feel like I just cannot relate to anyone. When I try to socialize I just have nothing or talk about I have a boring job that doesn't really interest me and no life experiences to share when I meet people

I am exactly the same, i cant relate with anyone my age and im socially awkward...i also hate my job and i failed at school because of depression, lack of motivation and suicidal thoughts.
The only friends i have left have moved on in their life, they have kids, etc. I have no one except my parents. Im just done with this life.

 

[ringo99]

Sorry I know I'm late. I know exactly how you feel. I'm exactly the same having missed out on life experiences and gaining skills that most people my age take for granted. I've given up on ever living a normal life again. I'm in my 30s but emotionally 12 years old and unable to mature enough to be considered a functioning human being. Ctb is my only way out

 

[GasMonkey]

It's not our fault, we just have faulty genetics.

 

[ToTheTwillight]

36 yo never had a girlfriend, bad experience and bad luck despite all my hard effort. I feel at this point where most have already by my age have family and kids, it's like too embarrassing and makes me very insecure to have to think I need to hide that I had no experience. Yeah life sucks, there been other tragedies in my life

 

[Sad Avocado]

I'm just 18 years old and 3 months from now I will make it 19. I am in the same position as you, the only difference is that I am younger. I am stuck in the past, loving a ex and only one girlfriend from two years now and I can't get over her. I am fully aware that this is killing me inside and outside but I just can't go on and I fear that I won't be able to conclude anything in my life because of this obsession of mine. This brought me to the website and it hurts more to think that these are supposed to be the best years of my life. If those are the best I can't imagine the worst.

 

[ongoingo]

This!
Can't find any other reasonable reason.

It's not our fault, we just have faulty genetics.

 

[GasMonkey]

I am in the same position as you

You are not, he has never dated and is a virgin, you are in a different dimension after having the experience of smashing prime pussy (with genuine attraction and affection) which is the best experience a man can have in his entire life.​

 

[Sad Avocado]

You are not, he has never dated and is a virgin, you are in a different dimension after having the experience of smashing prime pussy (with genuine attraction and affection) which is the best experience a man can have in his entire life.​

Ehm I am still a virgin too, but I don't think this really matters at this point

 

[GasMonkey]

WTF you had a girlfriend but never had sex with her?
What did you do with her then? kisses and hugs? well at least you have experienced that.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm just 18 years old and 3 months from now I will make it 19. I am in the same position as you, the only difference is that I am younger. I am stuck in the past, loving a ex and only one girlfriend from two years now and I can't get over her. I am fully aware that this is killing me inside and outside but I just can't go on and I fear that I won't be able to conclude anything in my life because of this obsession of mine. This brought me to the website and it hurts more to think that these are supposed to be the best years of my life. If those are the best I can't imagine the worst.

When I was 18 and that was decades ago, when everyone killed themeselves after a failed love at this age, you wouldn't be here, probably.

Well, the question about existance is a different one, there are discussion around here. I wish you all the best, the ways of love are really unknown but in most cases not a reason to CTB after some time passed.

Whatever you do, I respect your own and free decisions.

 

[Sad Avocado]

When I was 18 and that was decades ago, when everyone killed themeselves after a failed love at this age, you wouldn't be here, probably.

Well, the question about existance is a different one, there are discussion around here. I wish you all the best, the ways of love are really unknown but in most cases not a reason to CTB after some time passed.

Whatever you do, I respect your own and free decisions.

In reality the story is a bit longer and complicated. I wouldn't ctb for a meaningless love. The reality is that I am unable to fell joy ever since that and it has been two years now. This is why I feel completely lost and I am considering ctb

 

[Praestat_Mori]

In reality the story is a bit longer and complicated. I wouldn't ctb for a meaningless love. The reality is that I am unable to fell joy ever since that and it has been two years now. This is why I feel completely lost and I am considering ctb

Yes, I'm sure. The ways of love and what it does inside us are completely unknown. I still think there is a way out of such feeling in younger ages. BUt whatever you decide, it's your own decision and will be respected.

 

[Sad Avocado]

Yes, I'm sure. The ways of love and what it does inside us are completely unknown. I still think there is a way out of such feeling in younger ages. BUt whatever you decide, it's your own decision and will be respected.

Thank you for your words. I know that in a younger age it's easier but I tried every way possible not even the psychiatrist worked. but anyways thank you, wish you all the best

 

[Aloneandinpain]

I've completely failed at romance too. It's so strange and terrible being older yet effectively still a child in terms of relationship experience