I was totally overwhelmed and at 34 I know NOTHING to do

[Defenestration]

My parents overprotected me because they knew I was fragile ... they are also like me sickly anxious, but refused to take care of themselves. They involuntarily transmitted their fear of everything and the outside world .i was very spoiled and now to take the adult life (working world) in the face it's much too hard ... I'm still a child, teenager in my head.No one taught me adversity, I was throwing a child king

Professional life is very too hard for me ... I'm extremely clumsy, clumsy, awkward, slow ... I don't even know how to sweep, make coffee, make a photocopy, fold clothes, do a correct omelet, change a light bulb, fill out administrative papers, drive correctly etc etc and ALL things that an adult must know how to do ... I am a real handicapped person in life I do not know ANYTHING to do ... I am 34 years old and I am also A thirteen-year-old kid. I've always been hugely overloaded, everything done for me. it's as if I went from 13 to 34 in one day. no employer will want such an idiot. In addition with the social phobia I am extremely anxious all time and I lose all my means ... I have too much delay to catch up ...

my many psychiatric disorders come to be added to all this ( bipolar,generalised anxiety disorder,social phobia,traumatic memory )...
I have been followed by different psychiatrists and I have tried a lot of treatments since 2008 but no one has really been able to relieve me.

I'm afraid of people all the time and it's exhausting to the point
I only have suicide as a possibility, I really hope that this time I will end my life in 2021 ...
I would like to stay locked in my house and not see anyone as a hikkikomori but I don't have the possibility ... so I choose suicide

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

Could go into some understaffed field where you just need some detailed knowledge to get by. But yeah, you might have to fix the mental stuff if you don't want to ctb.

 

[iwanttodie000]

I can relate to so much of this. I also feel that suicide is my only possibility to break the cycle I am in. I also hope to end in my life in 2021, hopefully in the next few months. But I've been saying that for years now, I just need to make it happen.

 

[Superdeterminist]

I'm exactly the same. I can't confidently say that it was entirely because of my upbringing, (indeed I think there are other important factors), but I do suspect that my mother's 'helicopter parenting' is a big reason why I'm so fearful and ill-prepared for adult responsibilities today, especially working. It's a very serious problem.

 

[Makko]

I also had parents who "spoiled" me, not so much because they wanted me to be comfortable, but more because they didn't trust me with anything practical. All I was ever taught was book stuff, and fancy but useless skills like playing violin and flower arrangement.

Then fate willed it that they left the country and I chose to remain. We were expatriates, which meant that I was suddenly left completely alone with no one who could help, not even in an emergency. I didn't even know how to tie my shoelaces by myself. Soon after they left, a fuse blew and I spent several days in the darkness not knowing what to do about it. I didn't know where to buy a metro ticket. I didn't know how to turn on the washing machine. Adult life caught me in an ambush. Everything was hostile and terrifying.

It wasn't pleasant, but in that school, you learn pretty fast. Give it time. You're going to embarrass yourself a lot on the way but you'll learn eventually. And you are even blessed with the luxury of having relatives on the same continent as you, which can make things easier.

 

[Mentalmick]

I can't even make a phonecall without having to psyche myself up for an hour beforehand.

 

[Defenestration]

It's hopeless ... I managed to stop working ... I was happy the first month, now I got used to not working but my performance anxiety has given way to a very disabling social phobia ... hyper anxiety about going to make photocopies, to go to a washing machine, to make a request to the post office, to put gasoline in the car ... it's catastrophic ... every time you have to act in front of others it scares me ...

 

[EmbraceOfTheVoid]

Same, I've always been this way and there's never been anyone to actually help with any of it. My parents taught me just about nothing practical and I was already agoraphobic due to war so it just amplified things. I'd often get berated for doing things wrong and was often too afraid to ask for help for even basic things.

 

[Darrenloses]

Same bro.. I hate that I know nothing about basic DIY, my dickhead dad didn't teach me shit

 

[Revered]

I'm in the same boat. I dropped out my senior year of high school because my anxiety became overwhelming and then secluded myself for years (agoraphobic), to the point that I can't function at all like someone my age should. I'm in my late 20s and only recently got my driving permit, but the thought of actually driving terrifies me. If I don't CTB first I'll probably kill myself driving. I figure I should at least try fixing myself first and then resort to CTB if all else fails.
I believe the psychological term for this is "arrested development".

 

[insanedoomer]

there is alot of peopl like you , like here in SS , many of us here share the main problem

 

[BluesRunTheGame]

"arrested development".

36 here and can't drive.

 

[Pen>Sword]

Oh, God. This post hits me really close to home. I'm not alone after all. I don't blame my parents, I am just fragile. We're struggling the same things.

 

[Midgardsorm]

34 here. Don't have driver's license, don't know how to operate the washing machine. I have probably the lowest salary of my company due to having an IT degree that doesn't change nothing at all because they didn't teach anything useful at college.

Some things we will learn fast by doing it, but our mental health get in the way, make everything difficult to us.

I can relate so much with your post. Know that you're not alone.
Wish you the best, and peace on your mind.

 

[WhatDoesTheFoxSay?]

I relate to this on a personal level. One week into my first full-time (F&B) job and I already feel like quitting. I'm a klutz, scatterbrain, and I make mistakes at every turn. Whatever I've been taught in school is now close to useless as this position relies heavily on psychomotor and interpersonal skills, not factual knowledge. On one hand, if I pay meticulous attention to detail, I hold everyone up and we do not get to leave on time. When I try to speed things up however, I make more errors, get stressed out, and become less effective in general. I mistake one product for another, panic at the sight of long queues, and fumble when processing dozens of transactions on busy weekends. I had been putting up a front of good cheer until my supervisor saw me crying at the train station. Now the whole world knows and I've never been more ashamed.

I can't even make a phonecall without having to psyche myself up for an hour beforehand.

Sometimes I can't make a phone call without having a script in mind. Not knowing what to say beforehand makes me uncomfortable.

36 here and can't drive.

I have a driver's license but my family does not trust me with our car

 

[ThrownAwayTom]

Yeah this hits close to home. My parents keep to themselves and always taught me to do the same, don't do anything daring or adventurous, just stay safe all the time. I turned 29 today and still don't take any chances on an opportunity or to expand my horizons. Granted I do work an intense job mentally but, even getting full time decent pay I'm still not independant and can't imagine being fully independant, even though most of my friends are now. It's weird cos my parents did it with the best intentions I guess - but now they take any attempt to get away from them as a personal insult.

I've spent hundreds (if not close to a grand) on driving lessons and I've either failed or been too anxious to actually do the driving test, after getting 59/60 correct on the theory test.