KAZ-2Y5
Verrückt
- Jul 23, 2023
- 149
I wanna vent everything
I feel like I'm being watched by everybody. My abuser but also anyone else that wants to join her and abuse me or stalk me too. People that are looking for new victims to abuse are constantly watching me. They're in every trauma/abuse safe space on the internet that SaSu is the only place left that I have for myself hopefully
My abuser is constantly looking for ways, nearly everyday I know she thinks about me, and wants to get back into my life someone. She sends flying monkeys to try and abuse me
I'm tired I was SA'd by her and her friends in a gang rape, pretty sure I was drugged and left unconscious while they harmed me. But I did meet up with them to hang out thinking everything was okay
It's been years and I hope to God the statute of limitations isn't ending for me soon but it could be
I'm scared of everyone I meet I'm scared of being harmed again
She's been stalking me and I don't see why the police don't see this as a threat. I'm tired of hiding myself everywhere I go online or irl. I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm a liar when I've been abused by 16 abusers. So many of them were flying monkeys idk how I let them abuse me idk why I let them abuse me. Idk why I let her abuse me so much I left her the first time I should've stayed gone.
My abuser now copies everything about me, she copies my CPTSD symptoms and acts like it's hers to deal with. I notice I self blame when I shouldn't but I feel such intense shame it makes me suicidal. I overheard my abuser saying to our group of friends, "I blamed myself for so many years and now I finally left him[me]" when in reality I WAS THE ONE WHO BLAMED MYSELF FOR SO MANY YEARS AND STILL DO AND I WAS THE ONE TO LEAVE HER. but she/my abuser decided to say she left me which isn't true… I lost all my friends bc of her. She smear campaigned me so well. And my family is abusive as fuck too and takes her side bc they're all abusers obviously. I was told I'm lying about being raped.
WHO LIES ANOUT BEING RAPED!?? It only makes things harder to come out anout it and it made people hate me more and I knew it would but I just needed to tell people the truth and IT ISNT FAIR SHE HAS FULL CONTROL OVER EVERYONES PERCEPTION OF WHO I AM.
She had full control over everyone's perception since we met each other she abused me from the get go of the relationship and everyone called me an abuser BACK THEN too WHEN I JUST FIRST MET HER, I was called an abuser throughout our relationship, I was called an abuser when I finally left her. She's always had her way, I never was listened to. I had a narcissistic "family" growing up and of course they side with the people who abused me…makes them look better.
I'm tired and I'm trying ctb God please PLEASE make it work for me! Make the CTB methods I try work for me! Please God!
I feel like I'm being watched by everybody. My abuser but also anyone else that wants to join her and abuse me or stalk me too. People that are looking for new victims to abuse are constantly watching me. They're in every trauma/abuse safe space on the internet that SaSu is the only place left that I have for myself hopefully
My abuser is constantly looking for ways, nearly everyday I know she thinks about me, and wants to get back into my life someone. She sends flying monkeys to try and abuse me
I'm tired I was SA'd by her and her friends in a gang rape, pretty sure I was drugged and left unconscious while they harmed me. But I did meet up with them to hang out thinking everything was okay
It's been years and I hope to God the statute of limitations isn't ending for me soon but it could be
I'm scared of everyone I meet I'm scared of being harmed again
She's been stalking me and I don't see why the police don't see this as a threat. I'm tired of hiding myself everywhere I go online or irl. I'm tired of everyone thinking I'm a liar when I've been abused by 16 abusers. So many of them were flying monkeys idk how I let them abuse me idk why I let them abuse me. Idk why I let her abuse me so much I left her the first time I should've stayed gone.
My abuser now copies everything about me, she copies my CPTSD symptoms and acts like it's hers to deal with. I notice I self blame when I shouldn't but I feel such intense shame it makes me suicidal. I overheard my abuser saying to our group of friends, "I blamed myself for so many years and now I finally left him[me]" when in reality I WAS THE ONE WHO BLAMED MYSELF FOR SO MANY YEARS AND STILL DO AND I WAS THE ONE TO LEAVE HER. but she/my abuser decided to say she left me which isn't true… I lost all my friends bc of her. She smear campaigned me so well. And my family is abusive as fuck too and takes her side bc they're all abusers obviously. I was told I'm lying about being raped.
WHO LIES ANOUT BEING RAPED!?? It only makes things harder to come out anout it and it made people hate me more and I knew it would but I just needed to tell people the truth and IT ISNT FAIR SHE HAS FULL CONTROL OVER EVERYONES PERCEPTION OF WHO I AM.
She had full control over everyone's perception since we met each other she abused me from the get go of the relationship and everyone called me an abuser BACK THEN too WHEN I JUST FIRST MET HER, I was called an abuser throughout our relationship, I was called an abuser when I finally left her. She's always had her way, I never was listened to. I had a narcissistic "family" growing up and of course they side with the people who abused me…makes them look better.
I'm tired and I'm trying ctb God please PLEASE make it work for me! Make the CTB methods I try work for me! Please God!
