If it makes u feel any better most people are going to be losing their jobs real soon because we are on the brink of the next economic crisis. None of the problems have been fixed or changed since what caused the housing crash of 08. So all the gov has done is print more money backed by nothing. Which means that everyone is getting poorer and poorer because of the meddling in how the economy should normally work. Many businesses will not be able to pay the workers and more pple will be let go. This is why I've felt unsure about leaving my current shitty work because at least I'm self employed so I can't be fired or let go but I'll still be effected if I keep using the USD as it will become worthless real soon.
It's already lost 98% of its original value, so imagine how much richer u would be if the money was at 100% of its original value. I'm sorry u are going through this, if u do try to work in some form try to do something where u can work independently don't worry about business license or regulations this about fucking survival. So if u have some type of skill or ability it doesn't have to be a complex thing, find a way to advertise and start doing a little side gig. That's really the best advice I can give. I know u are freaking out right now but just relax and give yourself some time to get over this. Initially it's a shock and devastating but after a bit you will process it and be able to see other options. You are not a failure, please don't internalize what happened like it's a reflection on your ability or something.
That is so wise, and I've would have said the exact same thing to other people in that stuation. A little background info; my fater sexually abused over about a decade in my childhood. At 15 I decided that this wasn't going to defeat me. I would block it out and never think about it again (not so clever looking back at it now, but I was just 15 and struggling to know who I was). My defence mechanism was to do well in school. My only goal to live was to perform well, and that is who I was. Anyone would be describing me like that. Teachers liked me and gave me so many compliments, and I felt like my achievements were possible. I wasn't OK at that time, but I could function. I got into the best school in my country. And that was all that mattered to me. Function and achieve. But know, all of that is taken away from me, and I have lost everything that I am. I feel like an emptiless shell, just trying to hold on of what's left. There's no will to continue in misery.
But thank you so much for making a long post, and telling me I'm not a failure. I wish those words mattered to me, but they unfortunately don't. I do however appriciate to share your insight and thoughts.
I remember this feeling. You would need to talk to your doctor, but because it was a holiday, no one would be able to get in touch with them. I understand the doctors need holidays as well, but it would seem like the time you needed them the most was a time when they were not reachable. I don't understand why it happens that way, but it seems to.
I'm sorry you're going through this at all, but particularly sorry you're going through it during the holidays when you're expected to act happy and like nothing is bothering you.
I'm hoping you can find a way to at least have a tolerable holiday. Wishing you love and peace.
I think I did a very bad and selfish thing. I ended up writing my psychiatrist an email to his work adress. I know that he only reads it when his in office, and he had also turned on an automatic response that he will be away until the 6th and not read any messages before this time. Therefore, I was not expecting him to read my email until January, but to my surprise he did. I feel so ashamed that he had to spend time at Christmas Eve dealing with my stupid self. I meant every word of my email to him, and I wasn't asking him to do anything for me. But it was enough for him to get worried about me. Yes, that is me, ruining Christmas eve for myself, my siser and my psychiatrist. It was not my intention at all that he would read it yesterday, so I feel a little humiliated and that I've should of waited for a few more days until my DTB date is here. We usually concatc each other with SMS and telephone calls, so that's why I chose email this time, in combination that I thought he wouldn't read it for about two weeks.
Sorry for all of this jabbering. Thank you for your support and hugs
@BlueWidow . I'm hoping you have a better holiday than I am.
