I was bullied for attempting suicide

[Tumblewillow]

After seeing something traumatic at home I made the mistake of attempting suicide at a friend's house with pills I stole there.

Following this, my friend became aggressive and asked for space which I respected. The day I was released from hospital I was then confronted by another friend claiming I stole pills from her too and that I needed to pay her back or find them.

In my absence my friends started ignoring my posts on social media and liking and unliking them. I confronted them confused and distraught at why they would do that to me and found out first friend had told our mutual friend group that I was "being mean to her all the time" and had lied about me, claiming I'd said outrageous things to her that I'd never, ever say and that Id stolen drugs not pills. I was so shocked and frightened I managed to say it wasn't true and said sorry and that I wouldn't bother them anymore.
I confronted first friend and begged for answers about why she was doing this to me and she told me I wasn't normal and to distance myself. Gave me no closure or answers.

So I blocked everyone and hid. Despite that, she and her friends still managed to send spam hate messages on tumblr telling me to piss myself.

I know it sounds silly but the thought of someone I had known for 10 years using my attempt to get our friends to attack me, lie about me and then jokingly harass me has ended up in me being terrified of people and developing PTSD. I spend all day everyday feeling hurt, attacked, ostracized and worthless.

Its been 8 years, I dropped out of college, started having panic attacks, had to move away from my hometown out of fear of being seen by people I knew and have never had a friend irl again. I am lonely and terrified of people, terrified of being contacted by them or seen. I know now to not burden people with my issues but I wish she'd just told me not to come to her, I never would have said a word or asked for help if it meant hurting her.

But she's never apologized, never taken responsibility. I remain ostracized and blocked. Despite reassurances from my therapist that most people would not behave like my ex friend it's so hard to trust people again and move on. I feel so broken.

 

[deadbidaylight]

I am so sorry that you had to go through this. People are truly awful.

This person was clearly not a real friend. If you don't mind me asking, how old were you guys when this happened? This sounds like very juvenile actions on your "friends" part. If anything, seeing her true colours were a blessing in disguise. It definitely wouldn't have felt this way in the moment, but something would've eventually happened to cause the inevitable dissolving of this friendship. I'm sorry that she was manipulative enough to turn others against you.

I promise we are not all like this. I empathize with your situation and after being betrayed like that, I can see how it would be hard to trust or open up to other people. You were vulnerable and fragile and she took advantage of your weakness. That is a truly shit move. Karma will get her. I assure you that much.

Sometimes learning to trust again takes a big leap of faith. Now that you are 8 years older, you are likely an adult and as we age, viewpoints change and people mature. We look at the world differently, and tend to treat people a lot different too. I find 99% of teens are sociopaths. I include myself. I made some horrible decisions that I am ashamed of now that I am an adult. I wish I could turn back time and right those wrongs. I can't. So I choose to be a better person today. We all battle things people can't see.

I hope that you can find the strength to open up to someone and can start repairing the damage that has been done to you. Loneliness and isolation is crippling, and often makes the anxiety and depression worse. It's a vicious cycle that eventually eats away at you.

I truly hope you can find sanctuary in even 1 other person. There are inherently awful people in the world, but I promise a lot of us are genuinely good people. You just have to find faith in yourself to break out and find us. I hope you are able to try. There is so much joy in the world, and I know you can find it if you give yourself permission.

 

[Tumblewillow]

I am so sorry that you had to go through this. People are truly awful.

This person was clearly not a real friend. If you don't mind me asking, how old were you guys when this happened? This sounds like very juvenile actions on your "friends" part. If anything, seeing her true colours were a blessing in disguise. It definitely wouldn't have felt this way in the moment, but something would've eventually happened to cause the inevitable dissolving of this friendship. I'm sorry that she was manipulative enough to turn others against you.

I promise we are not all like this. I empathize with your situation and after being betrayed like that, I can see how it would be hard to trust or open up to other people. You were vulnerable and fragile and she took advantage of your weakness. That is a truly shit move. Karma will get her. I assure you that much.

Sometimes learning to trust again takes a big leap of faith. Now that you are 8 years older, you are likely an adult and as we age, viewpoints change and people mature. We look at the world differently, and tend to treat people a lot different too. I find 99% of teens are sociopaths. I include myself. I made some horrible decisions that I am ashamed of now that I am an adult. I wish I could turn back time and right those wrongs. I can't. So I choose to be a better person today. We all battle things people can't see.

I hope that you can find the strength to open up to someone and can start repairing the damage that has been done to you. Loneliness and isolation is crippling, and often makes the anxiety and depression worse. It's a vicious cycle that eventually eats away at you.

I truly hope you can find sanctuary in even 1 other person. There are inherently awful people in the world, but I promise a lot of us are genuinely good people. You just have to find faith in yourself to break out and find us. I hope you are able to try. There is so much joy in the world, and I know you can find it if you give yourself permission.

Thank you so much for your kindness.
We were a mixture of 19-20 year olds. Not super young, but I guess not super mature either.

 

[deadbidaylight]

Some people mature slower. This person seemed to have matured even slower than most to behave in such a juvenile and despicable manner. And the sheep that followed her as well. Those are the worst kind of people.

One thing that I will say to you is that NONE OF WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU WAS YOUR FAULT. There is nothing you could've done that would constitute such a vile response from people that were supposed to be close to you. A real, genuine person would have been there for you in your most vulnerable moments. This is definitely a *her* problem, not a *you* problem. Her actions are no way a reflection of who you are as a person or your value. I hope that you realize that. I'm sorry for the trauma you have endured at her hands.