I want to stop finding comfort in my depression

[illvoid]

Sadness, depression, suicidality and self-pity are extremely familiar to me, and they have been for a while. I want to make a change. I want to start enjoying my life and I don't know where to start. I hate how I always fall back on negative emotions when I could be enjoying things instead. I constantly make poor decisions knowing I will feel terrible about them later. I let the smallest things get to me, and instead of finding happiness in myself, I look for it in other people. I have no idea how to start getting better and I really need some advice. Anyone been in this position before? Does this even make sense?

 

[loneliness0]

Hey, you seem to be on right path by wanting to change and being self aware of negative patterns and tendencies you want to work on.

Have you considered seeing some type therapist/counselling?

 

[Weltall]

Sadness, depression, suicidality and self-pity are extremely familiar to me, and they have been for a while. I want to make a change. I want to start enjoying my life and I don't know where to start. I hate how I always fall back on negative emotions when I could be enjoying things instead. I constantly make poor decisions knowing I will feel terrible about them later. I let the smallest things get to me, and instead of finding happiness in myself, I look for it in other people. I have no idea how to start getting better and I really need some advice. Anyone been in this position before? Does this even make sense?

Please take a look at the posts in the stickys if you haven't yet, that way you can extract any information that would be beneficial to your recovery journey.

Let's break down your thoughts, that way you can answer these questions to yourself.
These questions will be hard to answer, and you probably won't be able to answer them all today.
The point of them is to approach this rationally (when you're at your most calm with minimal brain fog), and at a slow pace.

• What are the things that cause me to be depressed?
  • Current status?
  • Triggers?
  • Trauma?
  • Existential?
• What can you change in your lifestyle to fix the issues you're having?
  • For predisposition/trauma related, a lot of the healing is finding ways of coping with it in a healthy way.
• Do specific support groups exist for the issues I'm having?
  • Finding people with similar struggles can provide invaluable advice on how to manage your problems.
• When I'm having negative emotions, what are my options for diverting my attention to happier (or at least neutral) experiences:
  • Identify things that make you happy doing them.
  • Identify things/activities that help with recovery (exercising, breathing techniques, music, family, etc.).
    • They may not necessarily be fun, but they're proven to work.
    • There are a ton of resources for this.
    • Try them at least once.

 

[illvoid]

Hey, you seem to be on right path by wanting to change and being self aware of negative patterns and tendencies you want to work on.

Have you considered seeing some type therapist/counselling?

I have been in therapy for a few years, but it is hard to talk to someone who keeps suggesting hospitalization.

Please take a look at the posts in the stickys if you haven't yet, that way you can extract any information that would be beneficial to your recovery journey.

Let's break down your thoughts, that way you can answer these questions to yourself.
These questions will be hard to answer, and you probably won't be able to answer them all today.
The point of them is to approach this rationally (when you're at your most calm with minimal brain fog), and at a slow pace.

• What are the things that cause me to be depressed?
  • Current status?
  • Triggers?
  • Trauma?
  • Existential?
• What can you change in your lifestyle to fix the issues you're having?
  • For predisposition/trauma related, a lot of the healing is finding ways of coping with it in a healthy way.
• Do specific support groups exist for the issues I'm having?
  • Finding people with similar struggles can provide invaluable advice on how to manage your problems.
• When I'm having negative emotions, what are my options for diverting my attention to happier (or at least neutral) experiences:
  • Identify things that make you happy doing them.
  • Identify things/activities that help with recovery (exercising, breathing techniques, music, family, etc.).
    • They may not necessarily be fun, but they're proven to work.
    • There are a ton of resources for this.
    • Try them at least once.

Thank you for this. I will try my best to reflect on some of this.