Venting I want to stick to the suicide decision rather than looking other options.

[Bpdboii]

Ok, I am catastrophically failed in my family life and setting career at the age of 28. I have lost the right to see my child. I am dumbed by my ex wife. My career is totally destroyed... Many people say that I can recover and I can avail other options. I discussed about this to @Stan and couple of other members who, with my current circumstances, concludes that I can recover and start all over again like I did first time. Now, I can see it is quite difficult to achieve what I've lost but not impossible. The problem is I'm too tired and really have no energy. I set myself a suicide date but I want to ctb early. Just have lost interest in everything. Even daily tasks looks too much burden on me like taking shower, brushing teeth. I am hell much devastated and I don't feel like to live anymore. Every good thing in my life has gone and it feels like I am now late. The train in which I had to ride has passed and now I have to catch the bus which is waiting for me in platform. I only need firm decision to ride this bus. I don't want to lose my only passion which is to CTB... Just wanted to share you guys.. this forum is great help for me.

 

[Stan]

Your story is a difficult one, I share the grief of not being able to have my children in my life. Only you can make the decision as you are now at a fork in the road, go left, you choose life. That means you putting a real effort into it. It will take time to recover from what you lost, but the potential you have could really lead to great things for you. Go right, you choose cbt. There is no recovery from that. You said that I and other have said that your situation is recoverable. I have said this to a few people in private messages and probably a few times in open forum, the hardest thing in these situations is to forgive yourself and reign in the resentment. Until you achieve that, your life will be difficult. If you think suicide is a great way to get revenge on people that you see have done you wrong, then you are doing it for the wrong reason. Forgive yourself, but don't forget - so you don't make the same mistakes twice. Make small plans to achieve a greater goal.

If you ask for advice, receive some and you think it's good - then follow it.

At the end of the day, the only people we can ever truly rely on are ourselves. So empower yourself. Stop setting dates to die and set a targets to live instead because I know things are incredibly difficult for you right now, but I don't think you are looking to cbt for the right reasons. I refer to the earlier post about how you want to send a video of your fake suicide to your parents, family and people who you feel have turned their back on you.

Get the qualification you are working to and you have a real good chance of going anywhere in the world to work and start a new life.

I really hope you can find some time when your mind is more at peace to contemplate your decision and speak honestly to yourself on the reasons.