i want to see dead bodies

[Life_and_Death]

i want to feel at peace with my death and the way things are now......im just not. ive never really dealt with death growing up. only a few people close to me died and i didnt go to their funeral or i did but they werent there they were off being cremated. and as far as animals go i either wasnt there, had no emotional connection or was horrific and no im not going to share that one.

i feel like this should make me feel weird and different like "ew you want to see dead bodies" but i mean......yeah im going to be one of them one day. it would be kinda of nice if i could be at peace when i die by not only having a belief of what happens afterwards to my soul but to also honestly know whats going to happen to my body as well. and videos/pictures......just isnt what im looking for. i want to actually see it.

(also in case youre wondering i put this under recovery because im not talking about suicide im talking about dying in general but i also have a fear of death.....that seems to have left for now.....that i would like to get over. i dont want to be scared of death. i want to be able to take a deep breath and say "ok im ready")

 

[Brick In The Wall]

Do you have a black outfit? You could always crash a few funerals I suppose lol.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Do you have a black outfit? You could always crash a few funerals I suppose lol.

i was actually wondering if someone would let me in a morgue so i could see it before the 50lbs of make up are added. but that was a thought too lol

 

[Brick In The Wall]

i was actually wondering if someone would let me in a morgue so i could see it before the 50lbs of make up are added. but that was a thought too lol

Maybe you could find a way to do some "intern" work.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Maybe you could find a way to do some "intern" work.

i live in canada im sure someones nice enough to just let me walk in

 

[Brick In The Wall]

i live in canada im sure someones nice enough to just let me walk in

I mean I kinda get it, the whole morbid curiosity type thing. I just don't think that seeing a dead body is going to give you the type of closure you think it will.

To me it's like babysitting someones kid (fucked up analogy I know but still). Babysitting someones kid is always different than raising your own. It's almost no comparison.

In life we're all different, as we are different in death.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I mean I kinda get it, the whole morbid curiosity type thing. I just don't think that seeing a dead body is going to give you the type of closure you think it will.

To me it's like babysitting someones kid (fucked up analogy I know but still). Babysitting someones kid is always different than raising your own. It's almost no comparison.

In life we're all different, as we are different in death.

im not so much looking for closure but more.....exposure therapy. kind of like "ok this is whats going to happen and to a degree i can even control it a bit" (certain things like if you dont want your body embalmed thats an option, that i learned from a mortician on youtube)

 

[ecmnesia]

are photos/videos enough? I grew familiar with death from anatomy classes and authopsies books. Usually videos are not available on youtube and such platforms, but it's possible to get them on the darknet. Books though, are way easier to get, and there are really gross and extremely detailed deaths. If you have stomach for it, you can go trough anything.

Strolling around cemetery's also an option, most funerals aren't private so anyone can walk right in, just try and be discrete if that's your choice.

+ no dead bodies, but there are loads of videos on the surface of surgery procedures. helps getting used to the idea of death tho.

 

[Life_and_Death]

are photos/videos enough? I grew familiar with death from anatomy classes and authopsies books. Usually videos are not available on youtube and such platforms, but it's possible to get them on the darknet. Books though, are way easier to get, and there are really gross and extremely detailed deaths. If you have stomach for it, you can go trough anything.

Strolling around cemetery's also an option, most funerals aren't private so anyone can walk right in, just try and be discrete if that's your choice.

and videos/pictures......just isnt what im looking for. i want to actually see it.

ive seen books, google images, i watched that video someone posted about that girl hanging herself (rip), tv, ive even talked to someone on chat while they were.....(rip to him as well) it just isnt the same

 

[ecmnesia]

Sorry, didn't see that.

Are there any anatomy museums near you? Where I live there are plenty of university's that coordinates visiting groups. Not the same as seeing an autopsy first hand as things are preserved inside glasses, I can only think of this option tho.

 

[Good4Nothing]

My best friend is a funeral director. I've visited him at work a couple times.
Being around dead people is a very strange sensation. They look like people, but they're not anymore. The absence of life is palpable, tangible. It's hard to describe.
You're looking at someone, but no one's there. It's just a thing now. You can't get that feeling looking at pictures. You have to be there.

 

[Life_and_Death]

Sorry, didn't see that.

Are there any anatomy museums near you? Where I live there are plenty of university's that coordinates visiting groups. Not the same as seeing an autopsy first hand as things are preserved inside glasses, I can only think of this option tho.

idk. i just figured id figure it out when i feel like it. im not going to look at the dead bodies tomorrow. but sometime in the next year or so would be nice




also....how many people came for the title? lol

My best friend is a funeral director. I've visited him at work a couple times.
Being around dead people is a very strange sensation. They look like people, but they're not anymore. The absence of life is palpable, tangible. It's hard to describe.
You're looking at someone, but no one's there. It's just a thing now. You can't get that feeling looking at pictures. You have to be there.

you get it

 

[Shades of Grey]

I understand the morbid curiosity, and suspect it's probably not as uncommon as you might think. I have seen a handful of human bodies and physically touched two of them... one was a relative that an older cousin told me that I was supposed to touch (I was a little kid and it was my first wake), or I would be "disrespecting him". The second was a relative I held while she died... later helped dress and prep her body for transport to the funeral home. I deal with animal deaths regularly in my line of work. It is hard to explain the palpable absence of life... of that particular individual... that occurs at the moment of passage. Good4Nothing expresses it well above.

I think it's human nature to wonder about these things.

 

[Life_and_Death]

I understand the morbid curiosity, and suspect it's probably not as uncommon as you might think. I have seen a handful of human bodies and physically touched two of them... one was a relative that a cousin told me that I was supposed to touch (I was a little kid and it was my first wake), or I would be "disrespecting him". The second was a relative I held while she died... later helped dress and prep her body for transport to the funeral home. I deal with animal deaths regularly in my line of work. It is hard to explain the palpable absence of life... of that particular individual... that occurs at the moment of passage. Good4Nothing expresses it well above.

I think it's human nature to wonder about these things.

and when i see the dead bodies......i get that feeling your talking about....but its almost like i feel it just so i can know i feel its missing and thats exactly what im looking for

 

[LittleJem]

I know someone who worked for an undertaker at the beginning of COVID. It was quite emotional for him - as he saw children and adults... You also need big muscles to carry the bodies!

 

[Cherrypea]

Volunteer in a hospice? I'm a nurse and have seen plenty of people die and layed them out afterwards, always had a little chat with them while doing it x

 

[NeverGoodEnuff]

I, too, was a nurse in an ICU. Can't count how many I saw actively die.
Some were disconnected from life support, some were traumas and died after an attempt at reviving them (full code), some were young (18), some were old.

It wasn't like on TV where one minute they are talking and the next they are dead. They all just quietly slipped away. Very peaceful. There was an animation that just disappeared. The essence of humanness was just...gone. Never did I see a "silver thread", I watched for any signs of a spirit leaving the body but never saw anything like that. There was no definite moment, more like watching a sink full of water slowly drain away or a balloon deflating. Very difficult to describe.

I understand your desire to see dead bodies. For me, now, I have no fear of death. It was so peaceful.

 

[Sk1n1M1n]

How about going out on shift with the ambulance and fire brigade ?

 

[Life_and_Death]

How about going out on shift with the ambulance and fire brigade ?

I was thinking a calmer setting. With less light, sirens and sudden death. Like a hospital bed side, or a morgue.

 

[Sk1n1M1n]

How about working on a cancer ward, the death is very peaceful and the patients are not in a lot of pain when they get to that stage.

 

[Dark Spring]

Well I can tell you how I have perceived the death of people and pets that I loved and love very much.
I saw my grandmother die of old age in her bed next to mine, it was like seeing what was already at peace, really when I was at her funeral I did not feel that body was hers, it is strange how I felt, my grandmother was gone and only her "container" was left so to speak.

I also saw my cat die little by little in my arms, she had gotten sick, she hadn't eaten for days maybe and probably when I gave her her medication something bad happened, I think she drowned (this makes me feel more guilty every day), I began to perceive that she was having trouble breathing, I really didn't know how to help her, I revived her a couple of times but she was breathing more and more difficult, I didn't have oxygen to give her and I didn't have a vet near where to take her, in a moment I took her in my arms, I asked her forgiveness and she left. It was very hard for me because I could have saved her, but I was by her side the whole time and I can say that there was nothing left of what she had been in her body.

I don't know if I believe in the souls of people or animals but if there is something that leaves the body and that body is nothing but flesh and bones. It may be hard but it is how I see it

 

[Worthless_nobody]

I have seen quite a few dead bodies sadly. I watched family members drift off into what appeared peaceful death. I was homeless for a time so you can imagine the gruesome things I might have seen... people getting shot and car accident victims.
But good thing was the natural deaths from family members looked peaceful.
I held my dog in my arms as they injected here with the pink liquid (not sure if that's n anymore) but she died instantly and peacefully.
I don't want to see anymore family members die..that's why I'm planning on going first.