I want to save all of you meanwhile I still want to end myself

[Chiyuki99]

I don't know if anyone else here feels like this.
Everytime I read or hear about a suicide I feel sad for that person and I always think or say to myself "It is sad when people die/kill themselves."
It pains me to see that there are so many people experiencing the same pain and in many case even a worse pain than I feel and I wish I could help all of you out of this hole. I don't want any of you to die, I want you to he happy again and live a happy life but at the same time I think about death and suicide constantly since I am a teenager. I was depressed before but overcame it. I am now 21 years old and live what others would describe a perfect life. I am in no way depressed and I do not hate myself one bit - I just decided that it is over.

I wish I could save every single one of you but for myself I don't seem to find a solution other than death.

 

[KiraComplex]

dont worry about most people on here, really.
it is sad when i have a friend here and they pass, it really is heartbreaking. but lots of people including myself believe that life is better in death, and we couldnt be happier. guiding each other on how to do things safely makes us happy enough :)

 

[Fedrea]

I don't know if anyone else here feels like this.
Everytime I read or hear about a suicide I feel sad for that person and I always think or say to myself "It is sad when people die/kill themselves."
It pains me to see that there are so many people experiencing the same pain and in many case even a worse pain than I feel and I wish I could help all of you out of this hole. I don't want any of you to die, I want you to he happy again and live a happy life but at the same time I think about death and suicide constantly since I am a teenager. I was depressed before but overcame it. I am now 21 years old and live what others would describe a perfect life. I am in no way depressed and I do not hate myself one bit - I just decided that it is over.

I wish I could save every single one of you but for myself I don't seem to find a solution other than death.

I feel like that about a lot of people on here. I'm a hypocrite really. I DO believe in the right to self determination but I do think for some people stuff is fixable. For others it isn't and they will probably suffer til the end of their days.

 

[profoundexperience]

I wish I could save every single one of you but for myself I don't seem to find a solution other than death.

Well said. I'm almost exactly the same & I don't think that's strange to think/feel that at all: You have great compassion for and sensitivity to suffering.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I think it's natural to want to preserve other human lives. It's just in our make up.

 

[Iwantoknow]

I can relate to this. For me it easier to have compassion and empathy for others struggling then for myself.

 

[Bct]

I also wish people's sufferings here can be over soon, but sadly some are just impossible.

 

[Deleted member 14386]

I know exactly how you and others feel, I wish everyone could have the resources to solve their problems. I almost feel as though the system is 'rigged' at times, to make the lowest incomers feel the worst and ultimately end up here. Although that's probably just my paranoia setting in. I advise as best I can, then when said person is 'standing on the edge' I really have to work on centering myself and allowing people to make their own decisions. But for me when anyone asks if there is any other way to continue I cannot believe they're even asking the question! Just shows how biased my emotions get me when it comes right down to it, I don't know why either.

 

[Fullof pain]

I could have written the exact same thing. Because we all know how painful and torturous life can be, we don't want to think that other's are suffering like that too.
To me it shows what a beautiful soul you have, so please try and turn some of that care inward. If I could personally take away all your pain, I would.