Venting i want to run away

[batmanreal]

i hate this environment, i hate my job, no one around me genuinely cares about me. i want to go somewhere where no one knows who i am, i want to completely start over. i know that my issues would remain, but i just need a refresh. unfortunately, i don't have the money to run off somewhere. my job pays extremely well, but it's not nearly enough to sustain something like that. i want to quit my job, but i genuinely can't afford to work a job that pays less than my current one, and i can't even find a different job with similar pay to my current job. i tried working out all the costs, i considered opening a savings account to make this real, but it's all worthless. it won't work out. i'll have to remain in this suffocating, draining situation until i can finally ctb. death is my only possible escape, this is so stupid.

 

[Worndown]

May I ask about your current job?

 

[batmanreal]

May I ask about your current job?

sure, go ahead

 

[Worndown]

What is your job?

 

[batmanreal]

What is your job?

it's a little hard to explain, and i don't want drop too much revealing information, ofc.
it's supposed to be just paperwork, but i usually have to do a lot of physical labor as well.
tbh, it's not difficult at all. i don't have a problem with the work itself. the place itself is just draining and the people are horrible.

 

[Worndown]

Workplace environment is important.
I hope you can tough it out until another option is available.

 

[Sleeper System]

I'm sorry but this made me laugh. You just described being the average adult in today's society. We hate our jobs. Too unsure of ourselves to risk losing what we already have for only the POSSIBILITY of a better circumstance. It's all just a sick joke.

My only real advice is keep working and keep saving. By the time you look up you'll be old and have no choice but to slow things down. Hopefully, you can have a few years of comfort before you kick the bucket. That or CTB and jump to the front of the line.

 

[batmanreal]

I'm sorry but this made me laugh. You just described being the average adult in today's society. We hate our jobs. Too unsure of ourselves to risk losing what we already have for only the POSSIBILITY of a better circumstance. It's all just a sick joke.

My only real advice is keep working and keep saving. By the time you look up you'll be old and have no choice but to slow things down. Hopefully, you can have a few years of comfort before you kick the bucket. That or CTB and jump to the front of the line.

well, yeah. being condemned to a reality like this is so depressing. working a job you hate just to survive, all while having nothing else to live for? it's so horrible and i fail to see the point.

my job being shitty is only a fraction of the issue, though. it's mostly the people in my life (not just at work), and some other internal issues. that's sort if what i was trying to convey in my post. i'd gladly work a shitty job if i could get away from everything and everyone else.
there's really no point in saving up towards running away. it would take at least a year saving to even gain such an opportunity. i'm currently a few months away from being able to ctb, i'd rather just do that instead.

glad i could make you laugh, though

 

[Forever Sleep]

Are you actively looking for jobs in other places? Are you contacting places you'd like to work for directly to see whether they might have any upcoming vacancies and, whether they would consider you?

I've moved hundreds of miles twice for jobs. Both times, they gave me a relocation allowance. I think it was £2,000 each time. So, if you can find somewhere that wants your skills, they may be willing to help out financially to get you.

All I would say is- if you do it, use the opportunity to tackle any issues you may have. I Started off doing that. Made efforts to confront my social anxiety but ultimately, that didn't last and I went back to old, easier habits. It did work initially though. The stress of being somewhere new and learning the ropes was a distraction. Plus, I enjoyed being a tourist in a new place.

You need to really look about though. Comparitively speaking, I'm a lazy person when it comes to finding jobs but, I've probably still applied to hundreds by now.

To give you an idea though- when I worked with others freelancing, after the days work, we went back to the accomodation we were sharing. I'd stupidly taken work home to do from that job whilst my colleagues were on their laptops, emailing companies, updating social media. All that shit.

The first job I moved for, I found on Linkedin of all places, while I was eating my breakfast. The second was the result of contacting multiple companies directly. Finding work is a job in itself- unfortunately. It rarely comes to you.