Venting i want to ruin my life

[jenny6391bubbles]

tw: assault


i have this friend and he keeps touching the strap of my bra even when i remove his hand and im so. tired.

i defended him once from a lot of people whom i used to be close with because they were all throwing shitty words at him without evidence and now. im in that place. i cant even approach anyone because all these people resent me for defending him and honestly its fair.

with that, i want to throw my life away. im willing to keep going down and down and im at that point where i dont give a shit if this dude tries to do worse things with me. no one's going to want to listen to me anyway. i really shouldve ate all my words about him. now i don't really have anyone to tell this to.

i'm so alone. i feel so abandoned. can't even tell my parents because they told my brother how much of a temptress i am, even though i dont even have sex.

i'm trying my best to just say "it is what it is" here but, what's the point? all i get is one bad thing after another right now.

 

[dreamingofrest]

I'm so sorry you've ended up in this position. It's not your fault that you defended him before knowing what kind of person he is, it's not always easy to judge someone's character. You shouldn't have to blame yourself for that.
Not having anyone to turn to when things like this happen really does make it harder, especially when people like your parents are horrible to you like they were. You mentioned having a brother, is he possibly someone you could talk to?
If you're able to stay away from this guy that you're uncomfortable around it sounds like you should, you definitely don't deserve to be hurt by him even more (even if you feel like you do right now).
I really hope things start looking up for you soon.

 

[jenny6391bubbles]

I'm so sorry you've ended up in this position. It's not your fault that you defended him before knowing what kind of person he is, it's not always easy to judge someone's character. You shouldn't have to blame yourself for that.
Not having anyone to turn to when things like this happen really does make it harder, especially when people like your parents are horrible to you like they were. You mentioned having a brother, is he possibly someone you could talk to?
If you're able to stay away from this guy that you're uncomfortable around it sounds like you should, you definitely don't deserve to be hurt by him even more (even if you feel like you do right now).
I really hope things start looking up for you soon.

my brother is a bit young (under 18), i don't want him to trouble with stuff like this.

i can't really stay away from this guy until he graduates, so yeah. it hurts so bad. i trusted him so much.

 

[dreamingofrest]

my brother is a bit young (under 18), i don't want him to trouble with stuff like this.

i can't really stay away from this guy until he graduates, so yeah. it hurts so bad. i trusted him so much.

I definitely get that, I'm an older sibling too and I would have a hard time putting stressful things on my younger sibling even as adults.

Having your trust being violated like that is rough… he honestly sounds like the worst kind of person. Hopefully he graduates soon then, for your safety and peace of mind, and you're able to stay as far away as possible until then.