I want to OD again

[Dried_Ink]

Two years ago I took a lethal shot of fentanyl and overdosed but I was found and resuscitated. I felt so defeated when I woke up to the EMTs, my parents, and the cops standing over me. Now that I know how easy it is to end my life with this method, it's been an obsession of mine in one form or another over the last few years. Drifting off into death was so peaceful. There was no pain, no SI to overcome, and there was nothingness between when I took the shot and woke up after being hit with narcan. It was literally like going to sleep. It eliminated all fear that I had surrounding death. I think about dying every day now. It gives me peace to know that my death will likely be by my own hand if I'm able to procure a few simple materials again and make sure that I'm not found this time. There's an end in sight to this pain that I feel.

 

[ADBoy777]

I hope you'll made it b my next time and find the peace you seek for

 

[smvrtsa]

i hope you manage to find whatever peace you're looking for. can't lie, fent does sound nice

 

[Nikitatos]

I used to have a friend that grew up in a community of heroin users. She said people OD'd all the time (by accident) and said that it was a great way to go. I don't know anything about fentanyl though.

 

[FuneralCry]

Eternal nothingness is all that I see as ideal as well, all I wish for is the permanent absence of all suffering and harm where I'm finally unaware for all eternity, all that comforts me is the thought of an eternal, dreamless sleep where all is finally forgotten about. But anyway I hope that you eventually find an end to the pain, best wishes.

 

[KillingPain267]

Two years ago I took a lethal shot of fentanyl and overdosed but I was found and resuscitated. I felt so defeated when I woke up to the EMTs, my parents, and the cops standing over me. Now that I know how easy it is to end my life with this method, it's been an obsession of mine in one form or another over the last few years. Drifting off into death was so peaceful. There was no pain, no SI to overcome, and there was nothingness between when I took the shot and woke up after being hit with narcan. It was literally like going to sleep. It eliminated all fear that I had surrounding death. I think about dying every day now. It gives me peace to know that my death will likely be by my own hand if I'm able to procure a few simple materials again and make sure that I'm not found this time. There's an end in sight to this pain that I feel.

Wow, this actually sounds reassuring because I'm debating with myself whether to ctb with SN or F. How did you do it? I mean was it IV? And how much?