I want to go but i dont know how i can go thru with it

[downndone2]

I was planning to ctb within the week but I'm not sure how to go through with it with SI. I'm doubting I have sufficient pills and only option is gun.

I'm scared to even think about the gun. But SN is not a method i really want to use and N or F seems too hard to find and would be expensive. I've considered jumping and a few other ways, but fuck the SI. I wish I would just be struck by a semi accidentally and put out of my misery.

I made the biggest mess of my life several years ago, losing so much and now I'm faced with it all over again. I also have no job and tons of medical problems. I'm quite literally laying in my bed all day, no self care at all. My bills are excessive! I'm not okay at all. Don't want to spend money on other ways out right now, unless it is affordable.

I suppose just looking for additional insight, even friends. I feel like karma has chased me from somewhere and hoping if I put it to an end, it'll end....

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I was planning to ctb within the week but I'm not sure how to go through with it with SI. I'm doubting I have sufficient pills and only option is gun.

I'm scared to even think about the gun. But SN is not a method i really want to use and N or F seems too hard to find and would be expensive. I've considered jumping and a few other ways, but fuck the SI. I wish I would just be struck by a semi accidentally and put out of my misery.

I made the biggest mess of my life several years ago, losing so much and now I'm faced with it all over again. I also have no job and tons of medical problems. I'm quite literally laying in my bed all day, no self care at all. My bills are excessive! I'm not okay at all. Don't want to spend money on other ways out right now, unless it is affordable.

I suppose just looking for additional insight, even friends. I feel like karma has chased me from somewhere and hoping if I put it to an end, it'll end....

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.
My survival instinct is so powerful, too. I attempted partial hanging 9 years ago because I chickened out of trying full suspension. Obviously I failed and now typing this...
Talking about methods makes me somewhat nervous because I don't want to encourage CTBing but becoming friends is welcome

 

[Zegers]

I wouldn't think much of it if i had a gun, its one of best methods.

 

[CantWait2D1E]

So sorry about your situation. Debt/bills truly are one of the worst things about society and are a big part in what's keeping people down. What's worse is if you don't have the disposable income to pay them off right away, they just keep growing and growing like some effin cancer tumor.

If you're looking for insight, alcohol and drugs are the best counters to SI
If you're looking for a friend, I'm here. Don't know how much help I'd be. If I had the money to cover your expenses I would. Just can't. Wish there were some millionaire/billionaire ppl on this site who'd read stories like yours and decide to be more generous rather than buying their 15th super car or some unnecessarily giant house

 

[downndone2]

I'm so sorry to hear what you are going through.







My survival instinct is so powerful, too. I attempted partial hanging 9 years ago because I chickened out of trying full suspension. Obviously I failed and now typing this...







Talking about methods makes me somewhat nervous because I don't want to encourage CTBing but becoming friends is welcomeuI







I understand, I just don't know what to do. I've thought of everything, including jumping in front of train or semi but that puts others in the mess.

I wouldn't think much of it if i had a gun, its one of best methods.

The thought is scary but likely my best bet

 

[FuneralCry]

I really hate how it's this difficult to die, it's just so incredibly unfair how we have to struggle so much to finally leave this world. If only there was the option to just fall asleep and never wake then that would certainly be ideal, it's very unfortunate how that's not the reality. None of us should have to suffer for a second longer than we wish to, but anyway best wishes.

 

[downndone2]

I really hate how it's this difficult to die, it's just so incredibly unfair how we have to struggle so much to finally leave this world. If only there was the option to just fall asleep and never wake then that would certainly be ideal, it's very unfortunate how that's not the reality. None of us should have to suffer for a second longer than we wish to, but anyway best wishes.







Yeah, it does suck quite bad. I just want to fall asleep in peace and not wake up