K
Kleijd46
New Member
- Jul 18, 2022
- 1
First post!
I recently had a scare where I was forced to go to the hospital. I had crazy chest pains and couldn't get off the floor (was not a panic attack). All I could think of was "I hope this is it." Turns out it wasn't. I was however diagnosed with Hyperglycemia, COPD, Prediabetes, and some other thing with my heart. My doctor said I need to clean up my act now or I won't last another 5 years. Wow! Hope!
Since then I have been eating the worst crap, chainsmoking, etc. I even paid $150 and went to a blood lab to see if I got my numbers higher. Stayed the same. I have two daughters and I like the idea of saying goodbye to them - even if a heart attack comes on soon. I thought about SN but - even if its a short time - time spent waiting for the end would make me just think about my daughters. Also, I want them to get my life insurance money. I'm stopping my heart meds today.
Am I alone in that I want as many "normal" physical ailments as possible? I'm trying to get full blown diabetes, COPD, Morbid Obesity (already am), a fatty liver, and really just anything naturally occurring that will lead to a combination of death as soon as possible. I don't care about the pain that goes along with it.
I recently had a scare where I was forced to go to the hospital. I had crazy chest pains and couldn't get off the floor (was not a panic attack). All I could think of was "I hope this is it." Turns out it wasn't. I was however diagnosed with Hyperglycemia, COPD, Prediabetes, and some other thing with my heart. My doctor said I need to clean up my act now or I won't last another 5 years. Wow! Hope!
Since then I have been eating the worst crap, chainsmoking, etc. I even paid $150 and went to a blood lab to see if I got my numbers higher. Stayed the same. I have two daughters and I like the idea of saying goodbye to them - even if a heart attack comes on soon. I thought about SN but - even if its a short time - time spent waiting for the end would make me just think about my daughters. Also, I want them to get my life insurance money. I'm stopping my heart meds today.
Am I alone in that I want as many "normal" physical ailments as possible? I'm trying to get full blown diabetes, COPD, Morbid Obesity (already am), a fatty liver, and really just anything naturally occurring that will lead to a combination of death as soon as possible. I don't care about the pain that goes along with it.