
FohPah
Student
- Dec 7, 2019
- 146
I recently found a sudden sense of clarity and calm when I rehearsed hanging myself. Wearing the noose felt *right*. Not sad, not scary, not lonely, not desperate, but like I was going home. Like I've been preparing for it all my life. That feeling stuck with me ever since. This might actually be the best I've ever felt. I'd like to end on this high note.
I'm content with the life I've lived. It's not the life I wanted, and I still don't *like* day-to-day living with my particular personality and set of memories. But my curiosity is satisfied, and I have no ambitions at the moment. There's nothing more that I want to do. And I don't want to want to do anything else. I'm just... done.
Therefore, I have no need for my organs. Other people need them. People who still have things they want to do. People who have dependents. People who haven't yet found peace with themselves.
What I need right now is a trustworthy doctor to euthanize me and make sure my organs get preserved. And I need to trust that they get delivered, by people with good judgment, to patients who need them.
Our entire discourse about suicide, and our entire social support system for people considering suicide, is fucked. We don't need help with finding reasons to live. We don't need someone to correct our thinking. We don't even necessarily need someone to talk to. We need people we can *trust*.
I'm content with the life I've lived. It's not the life I wanted, and I still don't *like* day-to-day living with my particular personality and set of memories. But my curiosity is satisfied, and I have no ambitions at the moment. There's nothing more that I want to do. And I don't want to want to do anything else. I'm just... done.
Therefore, I have no need for my organs. Other people need them. People who still have things they want to do. People who have dependents. People who haven't yet found peace with themselves.
What I need right now is a trustworthy doctor to euthanize me and make sure my organs get preserved. And I need to trust that they get delivered, by people with good judgment, to patients who need them.
Our entire discourse about suicide, and our entire social support system for people considering suicide, is fucked. We don't need help with finding reasons to live. We don't need someone to correct our thinking. We don't even necessarily need someone to talk to. We need people we can *trust*.