Venting I want to die

[Life_and_Death]

I hate my fucking disorders. I can't fucking stand them. 24/7 something is always wrong. And God forbid I notice I'm having a "good day" "hey remember me? I'm dissociation. Remember? You aren't really part of this world" GO AWWWWWAY I'M SO FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF YOU JUST FUCK OFF. And the mood swings. Am I about to pet a kitten or put a hole in a wall.... We'll never know. Right now the wall is looking really entertaining and I'm not even sure why. I just woke up pissed off because that's a fun way to wake up. I don't even know what I'm pissed off at but I do know if I don't like you I wouldn't walk in my path today.

Update: yay me. I threw my keys against a wall. They were all lost but one broke off and its the only one missing now. Nice it's the key to my new place. I also put a big whole in the wall because apparently 1 hole wasn't enough I had to go and make it bigger. And I hit my head off a metal pole multiple times so that hurts now.

 

[BipolarGuy]

I hate my fucking disorders. I can't fucking stand them. 24/7 something is always wrong. And God forbid I notice I'm having a "good day" "hey remember me? I'm dissociation. Remember? You aren't really part of this world" GO AWWWWWAY I'M SO FUCKING SICK AND TIRED OF YOU JUST FUCK OFF. And the mood swings. Am I about to pet a kitten or put a hole in a wall.... We'll never know. Right now the wall is looking really entertaining and I'm not even sure why. I just woke up pissed off because that's a fun way to wake up. I don't even know what I'm pissed off at but I do know if I don't like you I wouldn't walk in my path today.

Hey,

Sorry that you're feeling like this.

Luckily you're part of an (online, anonymous) community that allows uninhibited discussion of these things, whereas other 'depression forums' ironically don't even allow you to talk about depression through fear of 'triggering' someone.

Could you explain a bit more about your disorder(s) and what they mean/how they effect you?

 

[Life_and_Death]

Hey,

Sorry that you're feeling like this.

Luckily you're part of an (online, anonymous) community that allows uninhibited discussion of these things, whereas other 'depression forums' ironically don't even allow you to talk about depression through fear of 'triggering' someone.

Could you explain a bit more about your disorder(s) and what they mean/how they effect you?

I'll answer you later. It's a bit much to type on a phone and I'm going out in a bit

 

[deleted]

I want to die so much that I could throw myself out of the window right now

 

[smuggling3]

I want to die so much that I could throw myself out of the window right now

I would also do the same, but it is on the 2nd floor, additionally there is a small ceiling in my room so I would not get much by throwing myself for the sale, not to mention that in my case there is a 50% probability that I will be killed or that he is injured and that he suffers more than necessary

 

[Life_and_Death]

Hey,

Sorry that you're feeling like this.

Luckily you're part of an (online, anonymous) community that allows uninhibited discussion of these things, whereas other 'depression forums' ironically don't even allow you to talk about depression through fear of 'triggering' someone.

Could you explain a bit more about your disorder(s) and what they mean/how they effect you?

we can start with my 24/7 dissociation. it comes and goes like the tide but is never gone. because of it. i dont exist and i cant feel. i dont live in reality to put it one way. then we have my borderline personality disorder, with that comes mood swings to put simply that annoy me on every level possible. my 50 different anxieties that make me wonder how i can even leave my bed. and my pseudohallucinations, although yes arent real....doesnt make them any more fun than real ones. i just cant take it anymore i lack control of everything at least it really feels that way (Thats not even all the problems just the major ones)

 

[Life_and_Death]

not that anyone cares but update: i found the last missing key