happylilsht

happylilsht

Member
Jan 23, 2021
59
I'm not ready yet my SI is high to the point i barely done any actual research on drugs let alone tried to look for them in my country..

jumping was my first option before i find out i can go to sleep forever peacefully more or less
I don't think i can do it at home anyway..

so i'm gonna look for a building and force myself as soon as possible i'm not gonna wait to feel ready i'm still delusional even tho i'm in the same spot my whole life and I'm completely invisible.. i'm always at the point where i feel like I wouldn't hesitate to take fentanyl because it's the most peaceful option, I can't deal with the hassle other methods require, unfortunately fentanyl realistically is impossible for me to get..

I knew even my death I wouldn't like. i wanted a perfect scenario but it's not realistic.

i'm gonna update when i find my final spot..
 
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